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Date: October 8, 2022
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Your husband is TAH- very inappropriate. If his interaction with Jackie were completely innocent he would have shared the fact that they keep in touch with you.
That’s the move ?
Your husband spent, what, I think you said 3 years putting you and your needs first. Three years you focused on yourself and getting better and admittedly didnt help him or contribute to much of anything during that time. When he thought he was finally getting a partner back you didn't have any inclination to put effort into your relationship and show him how much it meant that he gave 199% when you could only give 1%.
Being a caregiver, especially for that long, is so emotionally and mentally draining. It breaks you and eats away and your own health and self worth. But all you can focus on is “I didn't do this one thing and my husband is leaving me because of it.” No. Your husband is leaving you because he is finally allowing himself to value his own time and needs instead of only yours.
I dont think anyone will blame you for needing to recuperate from trauma, that's understandable, but you can't choose to ignore your partner and any of their needs for such a long time and expect them to come out of the other end not expecting at least gratitude and a more divided sharing of effort in the relationship.
You wish he would have given you lines in the sand to not cross. I think he was so burnt out and done with feeling like the only one putting in any effort that he just didn't know what the breaking point would be. You didn't seem to stop and consider how your action, or lack thereof, impacted the person who has given you everything when you needed it. He seems like he genuinely wants you to get to a better place in your life that doesn't involve him having to be the breadwinner and the caretaker for the rest of your lives, not to mention being seen as a crutch. I hope that you can move forward from this and really move past what happened to you and good luck.
I feel like he doesn’t see you as that important priority. And seemed like Mae is the one he prioritizes over you for her “Wellness check”
Check your gut instincts!
She does wear diapers while she sleeps but it was an unplanned nap so no one put one on her beforehand. She clearly woke up wet underwear and just never told anyone.
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o maybe that means he can be good 100% of the time, if we just put in the work.
You know that's not true, or you wouldn't be here. It's just not possible. I get that he's not 100% bad to you. The the part of him that is is very dangerous to you and your life.
His story even sounds like it’s what actually happened
ty
To be fair, if I couldn't make my partner cum I'd also be pretty upset. I think the issue is that he's making it your problem as if you've somehow intentionally betrayed him by having an orgasm once with an ex… You literally cannot help that you haven't been able to with him. And he isn't listening to you when you tell him that it's not his fault, it's something you're working on – I think his ego/pride is damaged.
This is likely going to make it even harder for you to orgasm with him because of his hurt feelings & you'll probably be feeling pressured. I do hope he properly deals with his hurt feelings & comes to his senses!
He has considered it but has no motivation to go or schedule something. I have suggested multiple times and offered help to no avail.
Yeah, but they all ended for a good reason, no? I'm sure you fought your damdest to make things work, but in the end, they just didn't.
Yes, every relationship has hurdles but keep in mind, this was a hurdle you two couldn't overcome then. There's no reason to believe things will be different now and there is definitely no reason to believe you two stand a chance at tackling the even more difficult obstacles in the future (marriage, children, etc.).
Thank you! That’s a good way of asking I’ll try that
Yes, she was kicked out. My mother was gracious enough to give her a place to stay and this was all set up through the church, who had strong feelings once they found out Julia and my husband were engaging in adultery.
She also won’t call unless it’s convenient for her and that’s rare. She’ll say “ goodnight I need sleep” then proceeded to be on snap or like ig for 2 hours
She also won’t call unless it’s convenient for her and that’s rare. She’ll say “ goodnight I need sleep” then proceeded to be on snap or like ig for 2 hours
lol that still seems like reading a lot into three pretty reasonable boundaries that he was up front about since the beginning
We don't know a damn thing about him personally, or the reasoning he might have for those boundaries, so we don't know if it's sensible or overbearing.
We don't know his views on marriage, family or why he doesn't like animals.
Making character judgments based on these things is incredibly presumptuous.
You act like you were there for that conversation, calling them “declarations” lol… I'd wager you weren't, and I'd wager that it was less of him making declarations on how the relationship would be and more a conversation about their mutual boundaries.
There doesn't always have to be a bad guy you know, this isn't AITA.
If you intend to have a long lasting relationship, then fertility is their business. Though you can get around that by saying you intend to be child free and leaving it at that for awhile. By the time you're having sex though, this information should be on the table, and no longer a secret in a committed relationship
I haven't asked him yet
Out of all the possible cheating that can happen, I think this would be the easiest for me to forgive. It happened very early in the relationship, she broke it off herself, she never did it again.
The part that would bother me the most is the hearing about it after six years. I would want to hear immediately ideally, so I could decide what to do, although I have not really been exclusive at the two month mark ever, so I guess it wouldn't matter at all.
But at six years I would be mad to be told– like why are you burdening me with this information to feel less guilty? That's bullshit.
i would think I would want to know I was vindicated. But I can't say if he would.
I have Google nest.. bitch try’s to listen in on my conversation and even interrupt us while saying useless crap that not even relevant.. yet she can’t be used as a timer most of the time. So I use my phone now as my timer. And yeah Google nest stays unplugged unless we want to listen to music.
You need to speak with a lawyer about custody.
If you don't want to be with her, you should break up now. Stringing her along for the next 4 months isn't good for either of you.
You are stronger than you think if you have endured this. You can do this, pull yourself out of this before it kills you. Stress can end your life