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Date: October 30, 2022
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OKAY SO I relate to the “too big” thing however if you take enough time with foreplay and all that and get the juices and horny going then it doesn’t hurt as much
So she probably is just not getting aroused.
That being said, this is something you HAVE to talk about. I can’t say if something more is going on, lack of sexual interest can come from many things like change in mood (depression) or medical things or maybe she just had a change of heart. She could regret getting married she could just be depressed she could have someone who died and isn’t telling you
The things that could be going in could be ENDLESS and varying in seriousness. You won’t know unless she tells you.
Try to make it seem more like you’re worried over her well being more than the sex, ask if something is going on. Maybe stop sexual activity to show her that you genuinely have some worries.
if she doesn’t talk then you’ll have something else to think about which is mainly are you willing to stay in a sexless marriage.
You are not being too harsh, she's taking advantage of you.
smacking children is illegal in like 30 countries.
So is abortion. Is this our line now?
You should break up
while you’re planning how to leave safely, talk with your therapist about that feeling of “not deserving better.” hopefully the therapist stays with you as you navigate leaving for a better situation.
I’m in a relationship where I have a significantly higher drive than my wife. Hers used to be high too, but hasn’t been in a few years. It’s frustrating, and makes me feel undesired and in adequate and wondering why she doesn’t want me in that way. HOWEVER, I love her, respect her, and never force it on her. Even when I ask and she doesn’t say no, but says something like IDK or similar, that’s not a yes, so I drop it. We discuss the differences in needs often and try to work through it like adults who want the best for each other, with no coercion or pressure. If you’re being forced, that’s not good and will turn dangerous quickly if you stand up for yourself. I’d seriously evaluate your future and consider leaving.
Yea I think you’re right haha. I really hope he will drop me a message this evening tho..
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I mean, he still wants to date you even after knowing you're 30. Is this the hill you want to die on? Idk I think it's a goofy mindset of him but clearly he isn't sticking to it. My husband normally dated older before we met, but hey this worked out.
I don't understand why he could have given her one dumpling. Out of principle? My principle is I want a happy relationship. For God's sake it's just one dumpling.
Why do you keep doing this?
You say your boyfriend gets angry and defensive whenever you bring this up, but how exactly do you bring it up and what does he say in response?
To me, his behaviour is a red flag, but only in the sense that it sounds like something might be going on for which he needs your support. Your post is very factual and to-the-point, but it doesn't offer any insight into whether you're actually trying to give him that.
Me alegre mucho de oír eso. ¡Tú erés genial! Se parece difícil al momento porque no hay respuestas concretas. Cuando construyes tu propria vida, paso a paso, puedes realizar tus sueños. Creo en ti. 😉 Los mejores deseos desde Suiza.
She moved out at 19 but she was clearly not emotionally ready and now, at 25, is still struggling with resentment and this isn't about the bus or the fucking car.
Look, he can take that approach and say, “Too bad; you should've taken the bus” and move on, but if he does he should also be prepared to just lose her completely.
And it doesn't matter if she doesn't like his new family; you still ask your child if they wanna go. The fact that she threw that in his face later speaks to her feeling left out and he is oblivious.
She isn't you, or me; she is not well-adjusted at all, and he thinks this is about the car.
It's always brutal with your first real boyfriend. It will take time to get over. But as a random Internet person to another, I will say this:
Don't get in your head, questioning yourself what change. Sometimes it's things out of your control. Sure it will be awkward but it's how you respond. If you crumble then it will affect everything around you.
Take time for yourself. Find something you love doing and focus on it for a while. You need to bring happy things around you.
Lastly. It hurts now but you will look back 5-10 years later, happily in a loving relationship (possibly a child who knows) and look back and thing. “His loss”.
This isn't the be all and end all.
I’m 90lbs, with a past ED, I notice any slight growth in my stomach. I noticed this, it’s not big ofc, but it is noticeable to me.
Honestly, I don't think I'd be able to get over that. The fact that he made a list at all is just gross. It is very possible that she wants him back and he is trying to decide between the two of you. No thanks.
It’s already going to be a long and difficult process but doubly so if you were to divorce and try with someone else
You might have to accept this isn’t going to happen
She was a child in a severely dysfunctional abusive situations. The “unabused” or favored child isn’t free from harm. It was perhaps adaptive for her to identify with the princess role to maintain parental attachment. Even though she didn’t know that SA was occurring, there would have been funky happenings and family dynamics, including triangulation, pretense and denial, etc. Learning of the SA was undoubtedly traumatic. She may not have the ego strength to process her childhood experiences and this trauma. She should be in therapy or you both in therapy. Someone does need to report this abuser to his licensing agency.
Oh no so we'd be talking about my evening then he'd say “do you know what would make it better? Me at your door hot.” Then I'd joke saying “well that would be a surprising Saturday” and it would be light-hearted, but idk it's just rubbed me up the wrong way as a Catholic. I just feel like this is leading down a path I don't feel comfortable with.
… who needs Vietnamese Veteran Veterinarians amirite?
Dude its you. Seek professional help from a psychologist.
I ended up telling her to distant herself from those people and she agreed and we patched things up overall
You shouldn't be buying a property with a BF. Only buy alone or buy within a marriage (it gives a lot of protections, like if you divorce you can force to sell the house; if you split up with your BF, you cannot force a sale of the house… you are stuck).
You are 24. Is buying a property sensible right now? Interests rates are very high. Are you planning to live! in this location for a very long time? Are you marrying this man?
Seems like he wants to buy a property but he cannot buy along, so he needs you to buy it with him. It also sounds like you have different priorities (he wants something that looks nice lol). Are you really compatible?
i would take his laptop or computers first and foremost. that is the absolute minimum. if he ask, tell him it is in police custody for a crime of revenge porn.
one question comes to mind though. did you know he was taking naked picture of you? if so …
If you’ve truly done nothing wrong OP.
Then it a ounds like you’ve been set up as an enemy OP.
She has accused you of something that you shouldn’t feel guilt about and if her BF can’t trust that you had no ill intentions, then he isn’t worth worrying about.
He usually isn’t cheating I would assume ?♂️
Depending on his behavior it 100% could have been more comfortable to just take it than reject him outright. She told you about it – she wouldn’t have if there was any nefarious intent behind taking his number.
You should give her a reasonable deadline to be out.
Of course it will. That’s the end game. She goes along with this for 28 days, he is feeling better but still being a loaf. She tries to bring it up on day 35, and that “causes” him to spiral back down and restart the clock. Rinse and repeat until OP gets wise and leaves or dies inside and becomes a full-time bangmaid.
You have doubts about it. Then it's time to leave.
Even with the tiniest of doubt. It will destroy your relationship.
if bodily functions be a fetish/kink, nothing surprises me.
This is what I’m thinking too. She doesn’t want to use hormonal birth control (likely because of her age) and this dude doesn’t want to use a condom. So she’s like, if you get me pregnant, I’m not getting rid of it to scare him into using a condom. And he’s still like, “but it doesn’t feel as good.”
I don't think you understand what a deal breaker is.
OP i have food issues. From having an ED when i was younger to having a binging problem when i was your age.
My husband which was my bf at the time was nothing but supportive. He worked out with me, he encouraged me, he encouraged me to not be too nude on myself and treat myself when i deserved it, when i failed he encouraged me again.
NEVER EVER DID I HEAR ANY OF THIS BULLSHIT YOUR BF HAS SAID TO U!
how is this helpful for him to belittle you?
A man that says he will leave you because you aren't doing well to his specifications is a major fucking asshole.
Please jesus do u not think you deserve a supportive partner? One that encourages you to do whats best for yourself, be healthy but also loving to yourself?
Is this man the best you think you deserve and do you really think everything i wrote that he definitely did! Is acceptable behavior?
It's a small possibility. I don't know the cost for a seriously in depth background, but the average ones that are about $40 don't include any of that information. It's criminal history, credit history, past addresses. They don't cover relationship status or divorces at all.
My friend, it’s an absolute deal breaker, being in a triangle relationship is always a losing game.
Never be involved with a quick tempered person, or a person enmeshed with their family. Neither of those hints will be healthy.
The fact that even though you grew up in a dysfunctional home and that you are still able to see how unhealthy this is, is truly remarkable.
There is a happy life out there for you, please don’t waste another moment with him, you could end up missing the love of your life.
Yes, you told her you were going to treat her like an object and use her for your own gratification. You are the POS here dude. No matter what she did wrong, that doesn't justify you treating her like an object. Even if I agreed that what she did was shitty, and by your own definition here, it is really your bro who fucked up, by violating 'bro code' not her, that doesn't excuse your behaviour. You have chosen to be vindictive and petty and willfully cause harm to her (no matter what reason she has for putting up with it) so you can get your rocks off. That's the shittiest thing in this situation.