Advocate, advocate, advocate. Is she at CAMH or a regular hospital? I have no experience with CAMH but as it is their specialty there may be less likelihood of her talking her way out of it
I think the question you need to ask is what about her past partners bothers you so much. If it’s truly not something you can get past then yeah, it might be best to move on.
The audacity to even ask you to role play as your FRIENDS? Any person with half a brain cell and a crumb of compassion would never do that. This is basically him saying “hey I want to fuck all of your friends, can you help me achieve that in a way where I don’t feel guilty, and that will completely destroy your self esteem?” That’s just so terrible.
You claim he would “accept” you saying no, but the fact that he kept asking you over and over clearly contradicts that. He is not respecting your boundaries and he coerced you into doing something you didn’t want to do.
Please please please dump this guy. He sounds like a terrible person, and you deserve so much better.
Lmao like you can't explore yourselves sexually by, I dunno, having sex with each other?
You wanted to explore OTHERS sexually. You should have never got married before you got that out of your system. Literally no-one is going to have sympathy for you here.
I've been suggested viagra before. Skeptical at first but I might consider it just for the confidence boost until I can provide my own mojo.
And yeah, telling her at all is a good starting foundation, this is true. If nothing else at least the conversation is open now so she can't pretend to be clueless anymore, heh.
I’m sorry if this doesn’t address the situation, but I still want to ask. Is it mainly guilt for her? Like would she prefer to carry it to term and adopt it out to a nice family or something? Or is it more so the desire to be a mother and raise a child driving her to want to keep it?
Your boyfriend is a toddler and a twat. If he said that at my dinner table on first meeting he would be asked to leave and he wouldn’t ever get invited back. You thinking what he said isn’t the issue is beyond believe. He is an absolute douche canoe
Next idea- send yourself a bunch of crazy, nasty texts from the same/similar app. Go out for drinks with her. Once she has a couple, act like you just remembered to tell her about these texts you got. Read them to her, and gauge her reaction. Whether she is confused, or reacts differently than she did with the previous messages, that you think she sent.
Or have your other friend B, send you nasty texts while she knows your out with crazy pants. And read them to her. It should throw her off in some way.
If she started dating you before she had “closure” then you haven't been having a “healthy relationship”. The fact that you're being so cryptic about what “a while” is likely means you've found yourself in the classic “rebound relationship”. Stop letting her stay at your place. She's broken up with you and that means you need to stop taking to her. Sorry this happened to you but sometimes you have to ask the right questions and be willing to hear the answers.
There's no easy way to break up without hurting the other party. That said they don't get to “refuse” to break up with you. You definitely should NOT have let that fly. Stand up for yourself, because you're the only person you can count on to consistently do that for yourself in life.
If they're going to be disrespectful and manipulative like that, then cut off all contact after you've said your say. This is about you at this point and what you can do to move on.
You didn’t do anything wrong reaching out to her. What you’re seeing is a narcissist melting down over being exposed. None of what he’s demanding falls under the definition of “closure”. What it is, is a demand for you to participate in his “(false) image management”, and maintaining a crafted image to people is supremely important to narcissists. What people think and believe about them is the false reality they survive on like oxygen.
Do NONE of that. You’re allowed to talk to his ex. That’s not a boundary. If it was, he can break up with you. But it isn’t. Boundaries aren’t things used to control other people, only yourself.
The babies are 6 months old. Tell her to wait a couple of years before wanting to use them. Embryos last for decades. There is no rush because they can be implanted even in her 40s. And having four babies less than 18 months apart on purpose is not wise. If she wants to divorce you because you don’t want to use the embryos, she should realize that she can’t use them without your permission, even if she is a single parent. So she either wants to raise twins alone and never use the other embryos, or give your kids a stable home without ultimatums and wait to see if your situations changes in a few years
Came here to say this – your parents will be back as soon as they hear the pitterpatter of little feet. I'm definitely not objective, because my little sister had a baby boy last year, who is the cutest smartest baby in the entire universe!
My little sister and her bf had broken up when she turned up pregnant, and she also considered not keeping the pregnancy – now she and her bf are happily living together, raising this amazing baby, and contemplating making another one. And I love this baby more than anyone in this world, and he is so much fun, and I really regret never having kids myself, and if you get the chance to make this unique experience, you should grab it! Sorry for rambling, but this makes me really emotional.
We drink probably every so often and it’s kinda a hit a miss, sometimes we end up with the best night we’ve had in months and sometimes it ends in a massive argument
He’s not just putting the brakes on the house OP. He’s putting the brakes on your whole relationship. And you are absolutely correct. Your time is just slipping away and he will put you beyond having children. At your age it’s not slipping away. It’s plummeting ! Go for the family and worry about the house later. Good luck. ❤️
You said no to this trip. Was this in response to a question from her or did you just assume you had that right?
Advocate, advocate, advocate. Is she at CAMH or a regular hospital? I have no experience with CAMH but as it is their specialty there may be less likelihood of her talking her way out of it
I think the question you need to ask is what about her past partners bothers you so much. If it’s truly not something you can get past then yeah, it might be best to move on.
Hahaahhahah
Why does he get upset? What is his reaction to you telling him how it makes you feel?
Thanks!! Not sure if you saw my older post but lil rough right now trying to meet new people.
At least this guy was through friends & not on a dating app! Only time will tell.
It means he doesn’t know.
I'd say she's paranoid.
Has anyone seen these 50 guys alive? That’s some trophy collection.
u/prettyinpink333, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Yes you need to tell her.
Oh honey… so many red flags here.
The audacity to even ask you to role play as your FRIENDS? Any person with half a brain cell and a crumb of compassion would never do that. This is basically him saying “hey I want to fuck all of your friends, can you help me achieve that in a way where I don’t feel guilty, and that will completely destroy your self esteem?” That’s just so terrible.
You claim he would “accept” you saying no, but the fact that he kept asking you over and over clearly contradicts that. He is not respecting your boundaries and he coerced you into doing something you didn’t want to do.
Please please please dump this guy. He sounds like a terrible person, and you deserve so much better.
You wouldn't understand unless you had a guy do this to you.
Lmao like you can't explore yourselves sexually by, I dunno, having sex with each other?
You wanted to explore OTHERS sexually. You should have never got married before you got that out of your system. Literally no-one is going to have sympathy for you here.
I’m sorry. It’s best you separate. You’re making the right decisions
I've been suggested viagra before. Skeptical at first but I might consider it just for the confidence boost until I can provide my own mojo.
And yeah, telling her at all is a good starting foundation, this is true. If nothing else at least the conversation is open now so she can't pretend to be clueless anymore, heh.
I’m sorry if this doesn’t address the situation, but I still want to ask. Is it mainly guilt for her? Like would she prefer to carry it to term and adopt it out to a nice family or something? Or is it more so the desire to be a mother and raise a child driving her to want to keep it?
Soooo, why are you dating another abusive asshole like your ex?
Omg, he's a horrible, selfish person. Please don't wreck your body with hormones just so he can get off.
Are you joking?
Your boyfriend is a toddler and a twat. If he said that at my dinner table on first meeting he would be asked to leave and he wouldn’t ever get invited back. You thinking what he said isn’t the issue is beyond believe. He is an absolute douche canoe
Next idea- send yourself a bunch of crazy, nasty texts from the same/similar app. Go out for drinks with her. Once she has a couple, act like you just remembered to tell her about these texts you got. Read them to her, and gauge her reaction. Whether she is confused, or reacts differently than she did with the previous messages, that you think she sent.
Or have your other friend B, send you nasty texts while she knows your out with crazy pants. And read them to her. It should throw her off in some way.
If she started dating you before she had “closure” then you haven't been having a “healthy relationship”. The fact that you're being so cryptic about what “a while” is likely means you've found yourself in the classic “rebound relationship”. Stop letting her stay at your place. She's broken up with you and that means you need to stop taking to her. Sorry this happened to you but sometimes you have to ask the right questions and be willing to hear the answers.
There's no easy way to break up without hurting the other party. That said they don't get to “refuse” to break up with you. You definitely should NOT have let that fly. Stand up for yourself, because you're the only person you can count on to consistently do that for yourself in life.
If they're going to be disrespectful and manipulative like that, then cut off all contact after you've said your say. This is about you at this point and what you can do to move on.
Tell him “Absolutely fucking NOT.”
You didn’t do anything wrong reaching out to her. What you’re seeing is a narcissist melting down over being exposed. None of what he’s demanding falls under the definition of “closure”. What it is, is a demand for you to participate in his “(false) image management”, and maintaining a crafted image to people is supremely important to narcissists. What people think and believe about them is the false reality they survive on like oxygen.
Do NONE of that. You’re allowed to talk to his ex. That’s not a boundary. If it was, he can break up with you. But it isn’t. Boundaries aren’t things used to control other people, only yourself.
The babies are 6 months old. Tell her to wait a couple of years before wanting to use them. Embryos last for decades. There is no rush because they can be implanted even in her 40s. And having four babies less than 18 months apart on purpose is not wise. If she wants to divorce you because you don’t want to use the embryos, she should realize that she can’t use them without your permission, even if she is a single parent. So she either wants to raise twins alone and never use the other embryos, or give your kids a stable home without ultimatums and wait to see if your situations changes in a few years
If you’re worried about your SO cheating on you, you shouldn’t be married
Came here to say this – your parents will be back as soon as they hear the pitterpatter of little feet. I'm definitely not objective, because my little sister had a baby boy last year, who is the cutest smartest baby in the entire universe!
My little sister and her bf had broken up when she turned up pregnant, and she also considered not keeping the pregnancy – now she and her bf are happily living together, raising this amazing baby, and contemplating making another one. And I love this baby more than anyone in this world, and he is so much fun, and I really regret never having kids myself, and if you get the chance to make this unique experience, you should grab it! Sorry for rambling, but this makes me really emotional.
We drink probably every so often and it’s kinda a hit a miss, sometimes we end up with the best night we’ve had in months and sometimes it ends in a massive argument
WELP it's not harmless.
That surely fixes your cheating and lying.
A woman wants to have sex, who would've thought…
I have ADD, depression, Autism, and anxiety as well as other shit and I still clean so fuck right off with that excuse asshole
Damn that last line hits nude. Sorry but if he brags about your sister's boobs, it's probably because he wants your sister's boobs.
No she says it but it feels uncomfortable like one time she got a temporary tattoo of his name
I hope the bar finds out. Jesus Christ.
He’s not just putting the brakes on the house OP. He’s putting the brakes on your whole relationship. And you are absolutely correct. Your time is just slipping away and he will put you beyond having children. At your age it’s not slipping away. It’s plummeting ! Go for the family and worry about the house later. Good luck. ❤️
That didn’t matter I guess I didn’t word my post properly… that’s my mistake I’m at work… I realized I left some stuff out…
Tell her you're going. If she doesn't want to go, then she can lose out on what she paid for. It's a dumb reason to not travel.