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♥Mary♥, 30 y.o.
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Date: October 9, 2022
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One of the greatest posts I've ever read here.
Honestly it sounds like he only wants to control you in every way. He's not taking you seriously he bloody told you hes not a tech person that's not just a red flag that right there is a checkered flag its called game over. What 32 year old doesnt know how to use a computer lmao. I can't believe he said that and you believed him.
im not sure what it is that you think he needs time for? He's communicated clearly that he does not want to be in a committed relationship with you. Either you date very casually (if he even wants that) or you move on. Considering that you seem to want more than he can/will give you, I suggest the latter.
I really don't undestand your mom's emotional abuse, I too think she did this on purpose.
At this point, I would be planning an exit, I know js not common for hispanic kis to leave the nest, but you need some separation.
i was a roommate
Do I admit to this? 🙁 It would destroy the marriage and mess up things with my kids. No easy answers forward I guess. Yes, hindsight is 20/20.
Pack it up ny boy she ain't yours no more
I’m sorry but this is an absurd request by your wife. Your kids don’t stop being your kids when they turn 18, it’s a lifelong commitment. I applaud you and your ex for being able to co parent with grace. My parents really struggled with this and my sisters and I held A TON of resentment because of this. You need to be clear with your wife that under no circumstances will you be cutting off your ex and that she knew when she married you that you had a ex and 3 kids. Nothing has changed in that department and she needs to understand that you will always put all 6 of your kids first to make sure they have a healthy happy home life. Ask her to explain how this will harm your future kids then you can dispel any argument with facts. Good luck man, it sounds like you are a devoted father and I’m here for it
If we are taking your BFs side… some exes are bat shit crazy. Some will do anything in their power to jeopardize the others life. Some people are really that desperate.
My buddy has one of those stories. Broke it off with a girl and she blew a gasket. Fake pregnancy. Suicide threats. Hacked his facebook. Created social media accounts in his name. Showed up to his workplace and waited outside his house for months. Posted 'embarrassing' photos of him on his account. She would message anyone who worked at the same company as him, including people he has never spoken to. I think by the end of it, he changed his phone number a total of 5 times to get away from her. Girl was completely off the rails and it was affecting everything about his life.
Some exes have a nude time accepting its over, and develop resentment followed by seeking revenge.
If there is no genuine evidence provided, its all based on someone's word. Pay attention to the actions. Your BF is the only on here who is providing actions. Surely, if this girl wanted to get back at him and he was actually sending stuff… she would keep a record of it for proof. On the other hand, your bf immediately gave up his phone, you're always with him, he doesn't hide his phone from you, showed you snapchat data, etc.
If all the interactions are over and done with, probably a good idea to block this person on all every platform, then monitoring your BFs behavior until you feel confident in your reletionship again.
Take a look at r/AsOneAfterInfidelity and r/SupportforBetrayed. See how reconciliation actually looks. It's not “hey, you messed up but since you said you were sorry now we're cool” – it's years of nude work, a lot of bad days, mind movies, distrust and whatnot, all for the chance of maybe surviving past her infidelity. I personaly think it's just not worth it; is she couldn'd bother to say no to a random guy, why should you have to on-line with the consequences as much as her?
Girl let this man go. For your own sake. It’s only been five months and he’s acting like he has agency over you?? I think the fuck not. You say you’re not letting him go, but know that there is NO middle ground when it comes to religiously controlling men. There’s no grey area. No exceptions. You WILL lose all parts of yourself he is not okay with. You’re already losing friends and it’s only been five months
You won’t recognize yourself in 5 years. If this is the life you want, don’t let him go. Keep pretending like you have any control in this relationship. But if you have even an ounce of self respect and self preservation, you’ll run for the hills today.
Not even ashamed of it. Found the pedophile.
LOL please tell me this is hilarious satire hahaha because I choked laughing.
Not for lack of trying, I’m sure.
I'm not your mom but as a mom I'm gonna tell you what id tell my daughter's GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW
There has never been anything, we were part of a bigger friend group and I lost contact with them and mainly kept contact with her, we are close friends but was one of those friendships where you could not talk for a few weeks then come back and be fine but she’s happily in a relationship with her bf for over a year now and I’m on a good basis with him too
You can't stop anyone from doing anything. You have no recourse here. You decided to “make it official” with someone you know so little of you didn't even know their age. You wanted to be left alone but then made it official after “a few weeks”.
Your whole story is suspect, and this is from you telling it in the most positive light. People are going to think what they think, and a lot of people might think this was inappropriate. Even your retelling of it makes it sound inappropriate, so I cant imagine how inappropriate the actual truth is.
Go to surviving infidelity.com it helped me with a cheating wife
Update me on the response and you decision.
I’m really hoping that OP has a way to verify that this is actually her husband before taking any action.
Someone telling you this is one thing, and showing you the screenshots is one thing, but is his phone number visible?
I’m not looking for excuses, whoever is doing it is wrong and needs to be stopped, but third party info is always indirect. Someone could be posing as OP’s husband, just as easily as it could be him.
Facts. Need facts. He said she said isn’t enough. Hopefully there’s more than just screenshots.
I don't feel it's controlling to ask that he only watch pornhub, but you should know that amateurs exist there, too.
I do think it's a little far to ask he only does it when you're not home and that you guys should instead choose to just give each other privacy.
I also feel you two didn't address your feelings of rejection and going to bed alone.
You're dating an actual pedophile(29 and 19, REALLY?) who is attempting to control you, already.
I'm going to be downvoted as hell, but pedophile is not the correct word here, OP is not a child. The girlfriend might be a shady, manipulative creep, but you should use the P-word for actual criminals who are attracted to children.
Wrong. Stop spelling out other peoples points for them, if you didn't get them.
P
Set boundaries. Yes affirmation from people is important but not the way she wants it.
Your faults aren't for him to point out. You're dating not going to therapy. You're supposed to say things like “hey it made me sad when you didn't come to the movies last night.” They don't need to respond just internalize that not being there effects you so they should be careful not to make plans they can't keep or they say “I can't make it but I'm free the rest of the week if we can do something then.” Real effort does take some effort and life only gets harder from there with some breaks and opportunities too. Someone should never have reasons they can't love you right now but reasons they might need some space to deal with something on their own end. Aka they don't want to use you for stress relief but a relationship so if your relationship is stressful they're always going to make it about finding relief from you. If they need a break from the relationship they should be effective at being better at it when they come back not act like it's about to crumble again because they really didn't think about it.
The sense I'd like to talk you into is the sense that you don't want to hear.
Which is, you've been together a little under a year, and he's admitted to minimum 10 times of sex with her, who knows how many times of other things that he doesn't consider sexual activity. For sure he's been emotionally cheating with her for the whole duration of your relationship.
The relationship really isn't worth saving. It's not like you had truth and faithfulness for a long time and then the emotional cheating is just recent.
The foundation that the whole relationship was built on, is already shaky.
He doesn’t let things go easily and it’s going to be a challenge trying to chase away those black clouds from this. I don’t want it swimming in his head that this could be a “reason” when it wasn’t
This sounds like it's going to be a disaster.
This girl already has a kid she's still in the process of getting divorced, and she's already in a serious relationship with you. She's just jumping from man to man. How long have you been dating that she's already introduced you to her child?
He has been saying easy words with no real consequence. You cornered him. Which is what it takes sometimes to see a man’s true intent with you
So when you’re not there you want him to sit at home alone and wait for you to return?
People today are so insecure. So he goes out. So what? Has he given you a reason to be concerned? Why do you feel he needs to tell you where he’s going and what he’s doing when you’re not there? If you can’t trust him, then why even bother?