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❤️Alexa❤️, y.o.
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Date: October 22, 2022
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Can’t upvote you enough
I'm sorry to say this but the whole thing sounds ridiculous. You're single, she has a boyfriend that she sleeps with.
You're not in the wrong. It's your whole relationship with this girl that's in the wrong. If u been sleeping with her then maybe I would understand her being upset tho only from a health and safety perspective.
It is important to remember that abuse, even if it does not involve hitting, can be traumatic and quite dangerous. Before deciding whether or not to work on the relationship and come back home you should consider: 1) how safe do you feel when with your partner? 2) what type of behaviors are common during fights between the two of you? 3) Are your current mental health/addiction issues such a risk for yourself or your partner if one of these fights were to occur again? It also may be helpful to talk with someone outside of the relationship (like a therapist or counselor). They can provide an independent perspective which might help guide you in making this decision.
Oh so it’s totally fine if someone says I’ll leave you if you hang out with your friends who I don’t like? I’ll leave you if you have any male friends, that sort of thing? /s
I see a bunch of posts like this every December. There's something about the holiday season that tempts people who don't normally drink, or drink much, to just totally let go. Of course he's not responding to your texts, he's super p***ed and doesn't want to say something he'll regret.
You probably will be able to mend the relationship after what you did. This time. Among other things, you need to promise to him, on your own initiative, to never ever do anything like that again.
My BF and I are exactly the same – I want to talk it through and he wants his personal space to process it through internally.
This is what I do nowadays. At the moment of heat, I let him have his space (it involves him leaving where we stay and go back to his own place). After I calmed down, I communicate via text / email – type an articulate message explaining and summarising my thought processes and feelings etc. and not expecting an answer. I avoid blaming language and usually done after self reflection. It’s for him to process internally and to understand my thought process.
We will eventually get back to the topic – can be days – but by then, both have calmed down and usually we can talk through it
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I hope he leaves you for someone that actually only wants him because he is clearly a relationship guy not a hook up guy.
She needs to see a therapist. She's using the photos as a proxy for the people in the photos to an unhealthy degree.
Well he immediately blocked her number and deleted her off social media. So we dont know if she tried to call or text him because she was blocked.
Not trying to defend her here because i also think he should move on without her
Stop doing intercourse without foreplay. That is how you get him to do foreplay on you. Once a guy cums he loses all sex drive. You need to have him give you (or at least make a good faith effort while he learns) an orgasm before he sticks his cock in you.
Stop giving him good sex when he knowingly gives you bad sex.
A burst appendix is a true emergency. He ignores your paid and pleas for help in a legit emergency. I am An EMS provider so I know how dangerous this is. Look at it this way, he ignored your request for help when you were having a legit medical emergency and then hasn’t bothered to be present since. This is not a person who truly cares for you at all. Words are easy and free, text is even easier. Being there and present for your loved ones is not. It costs your time and energy and sacrifice, which he wasn’t willing to give in your time of need. Why would you continue to have a relationship with someone who can’t sacrifice some time for your literal life? This will continue if you stay in this relationship, have kids, etc. is this the kind of behavior you want in your future? I sure wouldn’t.
What you have is a man that cheats, has never really been committed to you, and might’ve been lying to you for years about his true feelings around marriage to manipulate you into staying. Yeah I’d choose a piece of paper over that, literally any piece of paper.
Exactly why I’m upset.
No “crush” is worth this long of a post, I'd move on.
Don't leave anything with her when you go. You won't get it back otherwise. I'm sorry that happened to you. Leave as soon as you can. Good luck
He came out as a cheater
Assuming you two don't have any kids together, it's probably best for both of you to go your separate ways and a divorce could go relatively quick. Unfortunately, this is an old story many have experienced and it almost always ends the same way.
Split up, live! your own lives, learn more about yourselves and what you really want out of life and relationships. You'll both be better individuals and potential mates for someone down the line.
Good luck!
She should report it. You shouldn't confront him, for your own safety. Can you stay with family and friends? This is insane and bizarre behaviour. I can only imagine your shock and I'm sorry.
You know, if he promised to wear a condom and didn't, that's a form of sexual assault called stealthing. He could be trying to trap you with a baby you dont want. Don't let him.
He held you down, and choked you, in order to penetrate you without your consent. This is violent rape. Have you showered? If not, consider going to the hospital, and having a rape kit done. It will be invasive, but it will give you options. Do not delete any texts. Put in writing that he choked you in order to get his way, after you said no multiple times. See if he’ll admit it via text. I am just so so sorry. You deserved so much better honey. Please don’t go back to him, and don’t be intimate with him ever again. Hell think this is okay.
Unblock everyone and correct everyone's assumptions if it's important to you. She was out wth friends and they were there. They knew you were home while she was partying. Call them out. But I'd talk to my closest friends, let them know what's going on, and confront my family with the truth. She doesn't deserve to get to be the victim.
Thanks again!
I think she quite clearly is into him romantically and just made a mistake when she responded to the last follow up about her liking him as a friend.
Why did it take 5 months to get here?
It's 2 wrongs from a legal point of view. Nothing to do with morals.
Woulda, shoulda, coulda. Lie lie privacy privacy blah blah blah.
I just don't get all the people here saying you should dump her because she lied. Pff.
Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself: have you lied to her (including exaggeration) about ANYTHING since you started dating her? Whether it be a white lie or not, have you lied/exaggerated/embellished the truth/told the truth but not all of it since you met her? Is she a cracking girl? Pretty, funny, interesting, well-read, mature, caring, kind, empathetic, decent? If the answer to these two questions is 'Yes', what does it really matter how old she is? You have broken no laws, you are having a great time, you care about her enough to go on holiday with her and if she was a complete shit, you'd probably have told her to sling her hook long before you booked the holiday.
I mean honestly, she told you she was a year older than she actually was. If she'd told you she was thirty, I can see you might have cause to grumble but at twenty-five, you're not exactly near retirement age yourself, unless you're lucky enough to be an IT type.
If you like her, she likes you, you have a great time together etc etc, keep on seeing her and see where things go. She is not going to be able to hide something like this for ever and I'm sure she'll put her hands up at some point if things start getting super serious.
Of course, if you're only seeing her for the sex, there's even less reason to worry about it.
She probably needs to make sure your records are up to date properly. I think you're over thinking a lot of this.
Uh, no
!UpdateMe
In my opinion, this is the right attitude and incredibly healthy. I think everyone should decide what they want a potential end of their relationship to look like when they still care and want to be fair and loving. I think you very very smart person.
This is hinted at by him having an agent, but this level of ego is something I only see in Hollywood portraying itself. Very movie “star” vibes.
Unfortunately this is indicative of her age. However that’s not to say that it’s okay, plenty of teenage girls are loyal to their SO’s. Simply put, if you’re loyal and wouldn’t entertain women that are interested in you, it’s a very healthy boundary to have that you won’t date women who entertain interested men.
I’m 24 and engaged and my fiancé and I simply wouldn’t even consider continuing contact with a friend who tried to kiss us. She’s simply not mature enough for a serious relationship
Good question. I have been bullied and called names for a big part of my childhood… but I think the problem is that I’m in love with him and I believe that maybe he will change… thanks for replying ❤️
People who want each other start seeing each other more and more often until they decide to just say fuck it, easier to live! together. If she isn't looking for any opportunity to spend time with you, she's not your best friend or your girlfriend.