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❤️alice_and_adam❤️, 22 y.o.
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Date: October 23, 2022
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All the insecure little boys in this comment section ?? you knew exactly who she was and what she dressed like when you started dating her, don’t try and get her to change now because you’re feeling inadequate
I don't understand those comments about bragging, it's clear to me that you aren't bragging, just looking for understanding. Ignore comments like that, and don't let them make you feel bad.
You have no reason to feel ashamed, you did something you wanted to do and you enjoyed it. It was fulfilling for you at that time. It may not have gone where you wanted it to go, but hold on to the memory of how you felt in that embrace, and know that he will not be the only person who will embrace you like that.
And honestly those things really are subjective, and what matters more than appearance is who you are. Look inward and find your worth, and learn how to love yourself. You are worthy of loving yourself and finding someone who loves you inside and out.
This is the type of stuff you pay attention to in relationships:
Why would he have to lie about hanging out with him? And also laugh about lying about hanging out in my face?
Lies and gaslighting. Not song lyrics and memes.
Its a double edged sword right? He might begin to withhold/change certain details because you've had a history of accusing.
Lie about something to avoid the fight. Fight about the lie that was told. Both end up being counter-productive.
For something like this:
said the only reason why he couldn’t go was because he didn’t have his car but he was actually with me
Don't focus on the fact that he lied. Focus on the fact that he couldn't admit he was with you. Why? Is he ashamed of your company? Embarrassed of his girl? Those are the underlying things you need to investigate.
Anyways. Depending how long this has been a challenge in your reletionship. I bet you're exhausted by it. If you could see into the future, what is one way you could realistically see this be resolved?
Ya ok, and you trust her? She didn't tell you for a reason and she is only going to lie to you because you have no proof but you know what's happening! There playing strip pokher!!
go next
You’re very right. A similar issue happened also over a blimmin card game and a comment when I was there last year. There was no physical abuse though. I didn’t say much at this instance but also felt guilty later for not being stronger. I figured the relationship between a mother and son is something i should stay out of. However, getting physical and the way she did it in front of family when his best friend (cousin) is down for the weekend just really grates my gears. She ruined the evening I feel. And atm if I was around and this type of thing happened I feel I would absolutely lose my cool. She gets away with being cruel and gets whatever she wants and this is a woman I usually like so wow, I can’t believe I’m saying that
Was this on Snapchat?
Yes. It was wrong of you to play mind games with her and tell her one thing when you meant another. No, it wouldn’t be “fair” to end things with her because you don’t feel supported, especially when making unilateral decisions about the trip. She’s not a mind reader. It would be fair of her to make a consideration of ending things based on your unspoken expectations. Communicate your support needs. Don’t make assumptions that what you desire and expect from a partner is what you’ll get.
I doubt she's going to listen to anyone. I get you want the best for her and to look out for her, but she's going to have to make her own mistakes and learn from them.
Tell her about the time you nearly cheated. This may show her how much the situation is affecting you, or she may break up with you.
Either way, you can not stay in this relationship unless she wants to change. However, it sounds to me that she does not like sex and for me, this is a deal breaker. I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who didn't like it.
cut all contact immediately. when I was about your age I had a friend like yours. IT IS ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE!!!!!!! you already do t like what's happening. leave leave leave, trust your cut and please get help
Also please consider that it's easy for someone to put on a friendly face for a short period of time. What would you do if you move in with him, he lovebombs you, takes your money and your passport, makes you two get married and then drops his fascade and begins treating you like trash? A friend of mine fell in love with a tunisian man and this is exactly what happened to her.
Never let go of your personal documents, always have nope-out money stashed somwhere secret.
IMO. I think the compromise should have been that she go out and enjoy herself, send you a quick text to check up on you during the evening, and maybe bring you back some soup on her way home. Because I think grown adults can take care of themselves through a minor illness, but it’s nice for spouses to at least make each other comfy
yes he is still around. they go to the same university. I would imagine all her friends know, but whenever its brought up between us, she's very quick to shut the conversation down. she apologized frequently, and it seemed genuine. this is my first serious relationship ever, and have a lot of experiences associated with her. the thing was, before it had happened, her behavior was never bad, it was completely out of left field, and her reasoning was she wasn't getting enough attention from me, so she sought it elsewhere. but since then the only thing that has really changed is I think she talks to him less. I try not to pry or ask about it because I want to build my trust back up with her.
It sounds like your husband's wishes are for you to be distant from your children, and your wishes are to be closer to your children. I doubt you're going to find a way to satisfy both.
You get one life to online. Do you want to spend it making yourself happy by bonding with and celebrating your family, or your husband happy by sitting at home listening to him say mean, bitter things about your children?
This could be scars left over from the removal of a particularly bad case of Gynecomastia perhaps? Nothing to be ashamed of
Okay he's right– and everyone had told you this.
I'm just here to tell you to go on that trip with your boyfriend. Portugal is a beautiful country ❤️ and it's such an affordable trip.
I would literally throw him out for doing that shit. I’m not attracted to toddlers
What's your plan then?
Your bf needs to grow up, imo. You haven't done anything wrong. This is his own hang-up to deal with; he shouldn't be taking his discomfort about it out on you in any way, and I don't think there's anything you can do to help him resolve his feelings on this. If I were in your position, when he brought it up, I would tell him to decide if this is something he can get over or not, but I don't want to hear about a meaningless ONS from two years ago again.
You should never concede if you’re not comfortable. You must have boundaries and they should be respected. If not then it’s probably not best to keep dating. However you could also works things out but if nothing is changing then it’s best to let go
Is it possible it’s not really him harassing her? Ie somebody impersonating him?
How many times are you going to let him act like he can throw you away and pick you back up whenever he wants? It's not cute and it's not going to get any cuter.
Accept he broke up, send him a text like “I accept that we are no longer together, thanks for returning my things -” and list all the other things he's done to show it is a break up so he can't throw another “I never broke up with you” bs line. In fact make the break up as public as possible! If he wants to fake staying together online while he mentally tortures you in person, he is probably doing it to keep you from realizing you deserve better.
Don't hope to keep a guy who makes you feel like this. Find your sense of self worth then find a man who values you and would never put you in this position again.
I have no doubt he likely took advantage of the break ups on his end (saw other people), but you can't move on – that's against his rules.
Make sure it is true. Did he admit it?
If it is – dump his ass. He made a move on your 19 yo sister, in your house, whom he knew since she was a child. It is creepy af. If it is true – I would not be able to get past it.
However it is really strange that she told it to you only now. Why? It would make sense to tell you right away, or after the move, or after she learned you got engaged.
In any case, I would put off the wedding. You are fighting bad and questioned your relationship even not knowing it. Wether he did it or not, it doesn't look like you are sure you want to marry him.
Other birth control methods that don't include hormones can be incredibly painful. IUD insertion is often more painful than childbirth and most doctors don't offer any type of pain alleviation/sedation outside of Tylenol for it. I nearly passed out and was in excruciating pain for days after my insertion. 7 years later, my doctor thinks it might be the reason I'm having heavy periods every 2 weeks.
You need to talk to him before you leave.
Say.
“I've seen your messages with (hername) and I find them highly inappropriate, you may think it's harmless or you just don't care, but to me there very inappropriate, and I'm not comfortable with your relationship with her outside of work and I don't want you seeing her outside of work at all. If you do go while I'm away I will take that as you have chosen her over our relationship. Boundaries need to be set with her. So the constant texting stops now, no more unless it is strictly about work, I also find it extremely disrespectful that in none of these chats have you mention me or your son as if your hiding us”..
He probably hasn't told her about you and is forming a relationship with her or already has, just because the messages ain't sexual doesn't mean they ain't in person.
Once you told him if he get confrontational then you have your answer an innocent person has nothing to worry about.
If it was me and my partner said hey I don't like your relationship with your Co worker I find it inappropriate and would like you not to meet them while I'm away, I'd be like ok no problem I won't meet them and stop texting unless it's for work.
Another thing is have they met outside of work before???
Because I find it oddly suspicious he doing it while you are away as if he going to bring her back to your place as if he single which could be why he hasn't mentioned you or your son
I dated the same boy from 15-22. I thought I loved him so much. I actually ended up wasting so much time. I wouldn't even leave him for the infidelity, I would leave him just to experience something else. Sounds like he wants to.
Just because he didn't succeed in cheating on you doesn't mean he didn't want to cheat on you. Dump him because he will 100% cheat on you with any girl who gives him 5 mins of attention.
With a gap like that it'd be ridiculous to expect him to pay for everything lol
Sometimes the heart wants what they don’t have. They are more desirable. If you truly think you want him back, be honest and tell him. If you truly want to move on, you’ll find someone. You’re still young so it makes sense that this guy still lingers on in your heart.
She's upset because she doesn't want you to find her bothersome. When you don't tell her right away she's left thinking about all the times she did that behavior and cringing. You're embarrassing her.
All you had to do was say “hey your mom somehow got a hold of my contact info and messaged me asking if she could come talk to you, what should I do?”
He probably would have told you to decline her offer but he deserved to know there was contact between you two since it's his estranged mother. I understand that you felt empathy for her given your own situation but it wasn't your place to make a decision about your partner's familial ties without his knowledge.
I also don't like how you ended that. “How do I get him to forgive me?” That's not how that works. You don't “get” someone to forgive you, that's up to them. All you can do is apologize and promise to not make the same mistake. It's up to your partner to forgive you on their terms.