There is a scenario where a contract/ agreement could work or is needed.
Especially if OP's SO has a history with SA and and any underlying trauma might be triggered without this consent.
However, the chances of someone with SA history having a fetish/kink about being woken up to any advances feels next to none. So OP might need to decide where the line is between spontaneity and overdoing this.
He sounds like a flake. At any rate, he doesn’t get to use your abortion as some sort of cudgel to continually punish and shame you with. Who is he to judge you? It’s time for you to stand up for yourself. Tell him he either accepts you and permanently drops the subject of your abortion or you’re done.
Being blackout drunk is not a legitimate excuse for ghosting her family’s Christmas dinner. You dump blackout drunks, you don’t hold their hands and tell them it’s fine to disrespect you and your family.
You come to Reddit every time he cheats or there he’s being a jerk in other ways to you. He’s doing this because he knows you won’t leave and there’s no consequences for his actions.
And yes, according to your post history he does act like this. It isn’t out of the norm. And it goes along with him not caring because that’s what he’s shown you constantly but you refuse to see it.
If you ever want anything to change, you need to leave. He’s shown you who he is and that he has very little, if any, respect for you or your relationship.
Start to demand better for yourself and realize that you deserve better. He’s not going to be the partner you need. Break up, heal, figure out how to stand up for yourself and how to enforce boundaries and then get back in the dating pool. What you are doing right now is not healthy. It may be naked at first, but you’ll see that this is not what a relationship is supposed to be like once you look back on it.
Why can't you “act in an honest way” no matter what her narrative is?
And is her narrative “I had no idea anything was wrong, we had a great night, had sex, and when I got home from work the next day he had taken his stuff and broke up with me with no warning”? Because that's …. what happened, no? You might regret it and do things differently next time, but is her version fundamentally incorrect?
Your husband had to play this carefully. It could have easily been the owner just cut you both off immediately and left you both without a position. And you shouldn't be upset with your husband about that, that should be directed toward the owner. Frankly, it's his company and he can give it to who ever he sees fit. As for not saying anything to you, he shouldn't have if it was requested not to do so. You need to draw a line and realize this is work related, this isn't about your relationship. It is not your SO fault the owner chose him, not is it your SO's fault he had to refrain from speaking to you about it.
Have him read this, then walk out and ask for a break. He's your husband. He's allowed to have friends, but you should be his priority, not a second thought, and you absolutely should not be third wheeling your own marriage.
Um. What a very dumb thing for him to say. There was almost no way for him to come out of that looking good and he did it to himself for seemingly no reason.
A lady made a post recently about similar problem, except that she's going to be earning a lot more money than her husband in the job she wad offered. More than half of the comments said that the husband is bad for not wanting to move and the wife should take the offer just for the fact that she would be making more money.
When I red your post, I was wondering what the comments would say especially since your husband is earning more money than you would earn from the job offer. I'm really really suprised to see that the husband is the one who has to move again even while earning more than you would.
You should go to therapy and work through your feelings first. A redo-day isnt going to mean anything unless you process your feelings in a healthy way.
Funny thing is, this contract OP wants her to sign won't even hold up in court cuz consent can be taken away at any time.
There is a scenario where a contract/ agreement could work or is needed.
Especially if OP's SO has a history with SA and and any underlying trauma might be triggered without this consent.
However, the chances of someone with SA history having a fetish/kink about being woken up to any advances feels next to none. So OP might need to decide where the line is between spontaneity and overdoing this.
He sounds like a flake. At any rate, he doesn’t get to use your abortion as some sort of cudgel to continually punish and shame you with. Who is he to judge you? It’s time for you to stand up for yourself. Tell him he either accepts you and permanently drops the subject of your abortion or you’re done.
Being blackout drunk is not a legitimate excuse for ghosting her family’s Christmas dinner. You dump blackout drunks, you don’t hold their hands and tell them it’s fine to disrespect you and your family.
You come to Reddit every time he cheats or there he’s being a jerk in other ways to you. He’s doing this because he knows you won’t leave and there’s no consequences for his actions.
And yes, according to your post history he does act like this. It isn’t out of the norm. And it goes along with him not caring because that’s what he’s shown you constantly but you refuse to see it.
If you ever want anything to change, you need to leave. He’s shown you who he is and that he has very little, if any, respect for you or your relationship.
Start to demand better for yourself and realize that you deserve better. He’s not going to be the partner you need. Break up, heal, figure out how to stand up for yourself and how to enforce boundaries and then get back in the dating pool. What you are doing right now is not healthy. It may be naked at first, but you’ll see that this is not what a relationship is supposed to be like once you look back on it.
Why can't you “act in an honest way” no matter what her narrative is?
And is her narrative “I had no idea anything was wrong, we had a great night, had sex, and when I got home from work the next day he had taken his stuff and broke up with me with no warning”? Because that's …. what happened, no? You might regret it and do things differently next time, but is her version fundamentally incorrect?
this has to be a troll – i just got a really gross comment reply too
I hope writing this all down has helped give you clarity. He is abusive. His behavior will not get better and will only continue to escalate.
Please stop making yourself small to try to make him feel big.
Your husband had to play this carefully. It could have easily been the owner just cut you both off immediately and left you both without a position. And you shouldn't be upset with your husband about that, that should be directed toward the owner. Frankly, it's his company and he can give it to who ever he sees fit. As for not saying anything to you, he shouldn't have if it was requested not to do so. You need to draw a line and realize this is work related, this isn't about your relationship. It is not your SO fault the owner chose him, not is it your SO's fault he had to refrain from speaking to you about it.
You need to GTFO right now. Pack your shit and divorce him.
Have him read this, then walk out and ask for a break. He's your husband. He's allowed to have friends, but you should be his priority, not a second thought, and you absolutely should not be third wheeling your own marriage.
Um. What a very dumb thing for him to say. There was almost no way for him to come out of that looking good and he did it to himself for seemingly no reason.
I don't think you're the irrational one.
Kinda! His mother is sweet and nothing like MIL you can read about on reddit. But his parents baby him a lot.
She wants him for herself. Clearly jealous.
You deserve no less.
A lady made a post recently about similar problem, except that she's going to be earning a lot more money than her husband in the job she wad offered. More than half of the comments said that the husband is bad for not wanting to move and the wife should take the offer just for the fact that she would be making more money.
When I red your post, I was wondering what the comments would say especially since your husband is earning more money than you would earn from the job offer. I'm really really suprised to see that the husband is the one who has to move again even while earning more than you would.
My povvo ass can't relate
You should go to therapy and work through your feelings first. A redo-day isnt going to mean anything unless you process your feelings in a healthy way.
What a loser. Sorry for your loss
Dump him!
I like your enthusiasm.
You're alright guy.
Who fucking cares what other people think? If you want to kiss him then fucking kiss him.
at the final sentence. Yes- leave this pathetic boy, men handle this and understand and are willing to learn if they don’t understand