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❤ Mary ❤, 99 y.o.
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Date: October 23, 2022
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It’s very distressing I agree, and I am so, so sorry you went through that. Likely OP you are experiencing a warped reality on what is okay and not because of your past trauma with this sort of situation. I know you know that but I’m just trying to validate that you are definitely being taken advantage of here by your boyfriend here, and please feel solid and stable in the negative emotions you have with this situation. Trust them because they are right and they are trying to tell you something.
Yup. My partner sometimes forgets his chores and immediately apologizes and does them. I do the same. But it should not be a nigh decade long issue because that means it won't change unless he makes an active effort. It takes several weeks of consistent behavior to make it a habit.
I'm sorry dude that's rough. You already know what to do, end it, she clearly doesn't feel enough to remorse because she isn't willing to stop seeing him and if she tells you she will when you tell her you're done don't fall for it, because she only did it when you were ready to leave. I doubt it was only a kiss, she giving you the tickle truth. Tell the Ap's wife, blow up the suckers life, because he deserves it. What you're going through is mourning and grief( looking at your comments), you're mourning the loss of the person you knew and the relationship you had. Rely on your friends and family if you can, they will help you.
I talked about it, and he said that for him, he doesn’t want to change anything and doesn’t care if it’s a mistake, it’s the best mistake he can make. He’s sweet but idk, he basically told me that there are no doubts to have.
This is not true. It’s more complicated than that. It can happen.
She objects to a day where I have full free time. She always wants at least to end the day with an hour or two together and then go to bed at the same time. Which is where time constraints get in the way of me having a day for my own hobbies
Yeah if your rules are “never lie or it's over” good luck.
Some days I'm just not up for an argument. And will lie to you to avoid that. Life's stressful enough without having to deal with your insecure bullshit.
Ding ding ding!
This is what I'm saying and yet I was downvoted to hell.
We had plans to meet in person or video chat in the summer. We showed each other what we looked like at 19, I told him I had gained close to 100 lb and was working on losing weight bc I have diabetes. I said I'd be ready by the summer, he said he'd wait. I messaged a current pic and deleted it but he saw and said I looked pretty, cute
Just remember, you didn’t throw away 15 years for a few seconds. SHE threw away 15 years for a few seconds. If anyone wants to put that blame on you, they’re really shitty
She works and only pays her car payment, but comes to you for money for car troubles? Where does all her monet go?
Don't call her. She is using you for an ATM. Don't give her any more money. She has her own.
I’ve honestly never caught her in a lie
Lack of evidence doesn't mean evidence is lacking. She might be really good at keeping secrets and OP has just never caught on.
?? She already said she trusted him to pull out. She’s just as dumb in this situation; no stealthing.
You're not wrong. It really should be a partnership. Sounds like the simplest realization but not having that for so long really messes with your sense of what's normal/healthy. Thanks for this input!
Because she’s selfish. That’s literally always the answer to ‘why’ they do it. It doesn’t make sense to you because you aren’t a lying piece of shit like she is.
Hold up – you haven't even physically met him yet and you're stressing about choosing your job or him for marriage? You've known him long distance for 6 months. 6 months in person generally isn't long enough to be thinking about planning your entire future around marriage – nevermind someone you've never physically met.
You have zero knowledge of either of you will even be compatible with each other physically. It's wonderful that you feel like you have a strong long distance emotional bond and love for this guy. But that can be very different in person.
Let's say things do work out. Have you actually talked to him about your futures and marriage? Is the pressure to commit in your own head or is he pressuring you to commit to it? Does he want to get married as fast as you do?
You need to focus on yourself and your future. If he's truly the right person for you – he'll be there throughout your schooling. If not – well you'll find someone out there who will eventually.
3 years of being lied to OP you can try but fat chance you can come back from this imo
It's unclear why she thinks this is acceptable. But you've just discovered and you and she are incompatible on this issue. This means you either accept this behavior or you end the relationship. You can't demand someone change their moral code. You can only decide if what they are is what you want.
It actually doesn't sound like he supports you in general.
We are in a domestic partnership. My “bf” has his own past of infidelity issues and has caused our relationship irreparable harm (which is why I mentioned that I am moving out and things are currently platonic.)
I'd get a paternity test. For all you know she couldve hooked up with multiple people that night.
I'm sorry for your loss. I went through a miscarriage and it was the most painful thing ever. I'm hoping you can heal.
Give her the divorce she wants because she is a child and will get you killed one day.
This is what I read.
I get going on a boys trip. Then being like I need a break for a week. He wants to fuck.
Atleast He made this easy.
Haha yeah I can't comment on the penis comfort either but I will say I have thick thermal curtains for winter and thin ones for summer. No need to give the neighbours a show lol.
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful but I wish you lots of luck with your relationship and I hope you can work things out. If it helps you could try experimenting yourself at home when you're alone. Start slow, maybe just get out of your pj's and enjoy it for a few minutes before getting dressed, see if it helps you understand where all us nudists are coming from.
If you consider yourself a decent person, you would not partake. You dont want your ex to know, because you know its wrong. I would also include that this guy is not your ex's friend if he is clandestinely trying to rail his ex girlfriend when the relationship isnt even cold yet. But you are all consenting adults, so do what you what.
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful response.
I’m glad I’m not crazy thinking that there’s something else at play than an actual desire to get married.
I did ask him why he was so angry and all he said was that he can’t express his emotions and that he won’t even try to express his emotions ever again.
My fear instinct is on high alert now and I think I will try to end this. As you say, marriage should come out of a positive mindset, not this.
Girl this guy has a warped way of thinking, if he actually believes that he's going to find someone without a history he's sorely mistaken, I'd tell him to get to stepping and good luck in his search for the perfect woman. Fuck that loser all over the place, not literally though because obviously that part would bug him.
Use what you feel to motivate you to do better and take care of yourself. If the thought of rejection because of your weight doesn’t motivate you to do something, then his rejection of you is no because of weight, but laziness. Just sayn