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鏡子 – Kagamiko – call me Miko (^^♪, 99 y.o.
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Date: October 26, 2022
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What you need to do is not look outside, but find a way to get what you want out of your man.
It is going to take some time, but find a way to trigger him. Tell him what you like and what he should do. In the beginning he will be carefull. But once he find your assurance he will pick it up. Also tell him it is a problem for you that you are missing this. Try to surprise him in a pleasant way, like give him a spank on the cheeks/behind when you are making love. No too nude ofcourse but it will let him know the door is ajar.
I’m 37 and he’s 42. No kids between us. Planning to get married next year. I found out that he was out from 7pm and brought home a childhood female friend at 5am. He explanation was he was planning to tell me about it the next day. He said that he didn’t find the need to tell me right then and there where he was because he wasn’t doing anything wrong.
Lol, she told you what she wants. You can tell her if you want to life this way or not. You can tell her what you expect and need in a relationship. She can decide, if this is possible for her or not. If not, it would be healthier to go seperate ways.
It'll also probably get better over time. Vaginas are a wonder of nature and just about the most adaptable organ imaginable. Tight enough to make intercourse pleasurable but flexible enough to pass an entire tiny human headfirst.
Sounds like he's a really mature guy and has his shit together. He was even being a gentleman and being nice initially by not telling you the true reason to spare your feelings.
You forced him to tell you, then you got mad because he judged you based on actions you did in the past. He has the right to date whoever he wants, he doesn't have to give you a chance.
You became rude and unaccepting because you got rejected. Instead of engaging and being rude back he just blocked you and moved on.
Leave the guy alone and let him online his life, he's been honest, he's not tried to use you for sex or lead you on, he's entitled to his preferences.
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You need to fight for your marriage. Instead of fighting to “win.” You both need to fight through it together. It sounds like there’s a lot he hasn’t communicated with you and it’s led to a massive buildup of resentment.
Tbh, asking about Christmas with your family while he’s in the middle of a breakdown was pretty tactless. Wtf were you thinking?
I see what you’re saying but I think that’s one interpretation. My interpretation is that they chose to move in together, and the custody situation changes. I would probably also cry if my SO of 4 years suggested I move out. Not every display of emotion is emotional manipulation.
Never let a man tell you he doesn’t want you twice. Time to pack and go. Your relationship is toxic. He’s punching walls, treats u like shit.. what else do you want to see before calling it quits.
This post is about a friendship, so your advice is inappropriate.
Also OP asked how he can be better at expressing his feelings: there are many ways. I think in general men really aren't taught to identify what their feelings are or how to express them appropriately. Whenever you have an overwhelming feeling, try to identify it and see where it comes from, eventually you'll uncover the root of why you're feeling that way (methods to help with this are introspective tools like journaling or therapy). Once you're able to better identify your feelings, you'll be better at expressing them.
that doesn’t mean they aren’t “able to keep a roof over their head”
Except OP couldn't. I'm not being “harsh,” I'm just saying what is in the post. She needed to move in with him because she had nowhere to go. At 34. I have a lot of empathy for that, but I'd never recommend anyone marry someone in that financial position. She needs to become stable, financially and emotionally, before getting married.
I genuinely wish you that you never experience something like this and never experience mental health issues.
I did, actually. I was homeless, suicidal. I was also much younger, late teens. I didn't get married. I was a terrible girlfriend, but at least I didn't bring anyone down with me. I got help, I worked naked, and I waited until I was financially and emotionally stable before getting married.
When I was 22 I dated a 35 year old man for about 9ish months. Next thing you know it ended in a restraining order against him. I’m about to be 29 in a few months and I can’t even take 22 year olds seriously most days.
You're focused on the wrong issue.
You need to find a new doctor ASAP. One who will at bare minimum prescribe meds to help you. A good doctor would also help you find a low cost therapist, but I understand not all places have access to those.
I too had to take care of our kids when I was sick, so I get it. I would take medicine and rest when I could. When they were in school during the day, I could rest. When they weren't, they would play quietly.
My husband never took the day off either. When he did get sick, he was really sick. He had bronchitis, so he was in bed for a few days. He rarely gets sick though. I guess I never really thought about it as far as him taking the day off because of me being sick.
Then she's meant to be!
Did you have enough time to get over the previous relationship and are you ready for a new one?
Or is this a reaction to finally having someone who does appreciate you and isn't abusive so mentally you're being “tricked”?
Who knows, everyone is different but if you yourself think “Hey, this is going to fast” it's ok to let him know to take the foot off the gas a bit.
Exactly what I was thinking. Tell her you don’t want to settle for her shitty elitist attitude! It would be totally different if you were mooching off of her, but that’s clearly not the case.
Y'all have had major issues before with incompatibility. Just leave already.
Also, why go through and delete your previous post history and comments? Are you that hell bent on bait posting? It's a pretty shitty thing to do to bait judaism and circumcision for karma, of all things, also.
First of all, you would put the dog in boarding.
You said, he doesn't want you doing that.
Sure, he can say he doesn't want you doing that, but what you should've done is, call the boarding place and take the dogs there yourself. Hecc, I even would go further as boarding the pups a day b4 you are supposed to leave.
Problem solved. Now he has nothing to complain, per pet sitting- issue. If he asks why you do this, just say that you want to try that specific boarding place, just in case, your bf is not around one day when you're away.
If he complains about your dogs, he probably felt like he 'has to' watch the dogs because he eats at your house for meals. But he doesn't have to, as you said in the comment. And it's going to make you feel better not to depend on him in that way.
So all he can complain later on is just how long you're gone and how he misses you. 🙂
Imma keep it 100 with you, respectfully, I think you need to be humbled a little.
You're getting married, gonna cement your love woth a contract and ceremony and your thoughts right now are “I want my rock”. To such an extent that you feel an immense anxiety about not having one to show off. “I look like a joke” are you kidding me? I understand the desire for bling but you are letting this overtake the relationship it's absurd. No ring or the best ring ever, it won't change the marriage, but if you treat it like it will, you'll only bruise it and that's best case.
In terms of “we” about purchasing the ring. He can't make a money move that fucking naked if you aren't both financially set. If he gets enough to buy it but you aren't stable, then he spends that money and you're both in a worse position. You need to both be good and personally, I do feel like it's more egalitarian to both contribute nut that's whatever.
You say you have “no ring” but that's not true. You do have a ring. I understand it's not lavish, but as long as your thoughts are on what you don't have, and not on appreciating what you do, the longer you'll be dissatisfied, the more likely it is you'll build resentment.
Im telling you, the ring will come. We don't 100% control our financial standing at any given time. Have some patience and respect for him.
It'll he okay, things will sort out, but only if you let them. If you get that ring 5 years from now or 1 month from now, in 30 years will you care? Or will you care more about the memories made. I know what my answer is.
So you’d willingly support the relationship of your best friend if you knew the person they were dating was not treating them right and treating them with disrespect and seemed to be afraid and/or shamed to be in public with them in their current town?
And yes, I am prepared for that
Check out safety nets in your area, so you know where to reach if things start to fall apart temporarily. Food banks, government programs for bills (heat, water, trash, Internet, phones, etc. There's a program for almost everything), daycare subsidy programs, medical insurance. Even if you don't qualify for them now, it's good to know at what point you will, and how to access the program quickly.
It's not shameful to take advantage of these programs, especially if it's temporary AND keeping you out of a toxic situation. It's an investment in your child's future, and the state sees it that way too. That's why these programs exist – the less trauma your child has now, the less likely she'll need these programs herself when she's older.
Or it could be like a BL manga.
They care for each other than friends. They don't want to hurt op. So, they decided they would never act on the forbidden passion and drifted apart in the floating world.
Even if he doesn't have bad intentions, there is no reason for HIM of all people she knows to be the one she runs to. Why would she immediately go to her last boyfriend for help rather than friends or family?
Your second thoughts are the ones you should be listening to. Your fiance is just a younger version of your father. You know you don't want to marry your father. End it now before it's too late.
I called you insecure because you are an insecure person, not because you're a woman. The label doesn't have a gender, I'm sorry to inform you. I've heard both sexes called it pretty frequently. Here you go again, trying to twist things around in your head so you can get to the outcome you desire. Try to work on yourself. You need it.
Highly toxic.
Are you financially dependent on him?