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???? (´｡• ω •｡`), 22 y.o.
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Date: January 21, 2023
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Sorry to hear about the timing with these relationships.
For getting over him advice: Look into various personal growth areas. Reading, exercise, learning new skills, etc.
Also think about your values and goals (what you want your life to be like) and take steps to make those things happen.
Create a life for yourself and keep trying new things.
Sit her down and have a conversation about consent.
You consent only to sex that is consensual, meaning you do not want to engage with sex acts with her where she isn't a HELL YEAH about doing it. That for you to have sex outside of her genuine and real consent would be harmful to you. You would feel violated as her partner.
You do not want her to fake her consent. You just want it freely offered and you are okay with abstain while she works through her issues.
Also, I'd suggest she look into this kind of therapy: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR) . It's supposed to be wonderful for working through trauma.
Commit.
Marry her, adopt her son, and you will all have the same last name.
Otherwise, when you leave, it will save her the trouble of having to change their last name to hers. BC if you're gone, that's what it will be anyway.
So you saw this guy treat your friend like a piece of shit. And when she finally gained the confidence not to put up with it you thought “MY TURN NOW”. That’s frankly absurd and the fact that you thought your fiend would think it was no big deal is laughable
Bob thought he'd got away with it all consequence free and is now sulking that someone would like him to hold himself accountable for his actions.
Tough shit, Bob.
Stop telling a 19 yo to move out ffs. I am soon to be 27, on track to do a PhD and had to go back to my parents for a few months because of rent.
It's not the end of her world if she cannot go out at night that much. She should first try talking, have multiple attempts at it. It's also not the end of the world and maybe she will in fact give you more room when you're 20/21.
Or, he just really really sucks as a human being. Some people will break up over literally nothing. Because they're emotionally immature morons.
thank you. I'm very sorry, by the way. but there is someone out there who will love-love you, I bet…
I know people say run as an exaggeration sometimes but girl RUN!
Like leave now. Go make an excuse, see a friend, get a police escort to get your stuff out. Don’t tell him actually where you are and be so careful. File a police report and tell them everything about it and how scared you are. Have a person with you at all times during the next few months.
Guys like this get super violent and even more unstable after the baby is born and you start “ignoring him” to care for it.
$1500 seems like a fair number, but I would add a caveat that the extra $500 he's saving a month I would request it to go into a savings fund. That way if things don't work out he'll be able to leave and find a new place, and if things do work out you guys can look at taking the next step of marriage and ownership of a house together.
50/50 for all bills and utilities, it's a fair compromise, he gets a bit of breathing room, and you're not losing a lot of opportunity cost.
I guess not yet other than what I just wrote? One time we were at a hotel and he walks into the hallway saying he needs to call his dad and I overheard him say “I dont need to tell you where I am or give you my address.” So that was a little odd.
My impression is that for whatever reason, she didn't want you there.
Maybe it is as small as you being tired and depressing at coffee and she didn't want Debbie downer bringing down her dinner party.
Maybe she is long game trying to create separation between you and your dad in the way of shitty steps who would rather first kids get edged out come inheritance time.
Either way, it's not really about your kid. Your sensitivity about your kid is just the button she pushed to manipulate you. And it worked, she said a few words with minimal effort and got you to bail.
Her motivation big or small is not kind, and is not in yours or your kids best interest.
Don't let one person get you to throw away your dad and his entire side of the family.
Its little bit rude to say i was whining. I mentioned it, maybe in comments they asked about it in first place. What mean sobered up? Everything from wine night to this terrible night was nearly around two months. What overenthusiasm? They didnt know sh*t what she prepared or did. So you comment is totally wrong and out of context. Anyway thanks for your time