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??????, 20 y.o.
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Date: October 26, 2022
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Then stop. He has no more right to control your body than you do to control his.
My brother in science, she can't differentiate between reality and television. This is a “her” problem. She needs to mature. Don't internalize this.
Unless there's something you're not telling us about your behavior, I think you need to weigh how you're going to feel after a while.
I'm a big human, I know that. My girlfriend freaked out when I got angry, because suddenly instead of a gentle giant I was a scary monster. It's not fair, because I should be able to express my anger.
Humans are not black or white, he can both love and have good sides, and be a toxic, abusive person.
The problem is, you can't have this toxicity in your life. Toxic means it will kill you. Slow or quick. You need to get away from it and find someone who isn't toxic.
Think of him like Meth. He feels good sometimes but he's still terrible for you and ruins your life. He's not a substitute for a healthy relationship and a healthy life.
Because people try not to hurt you!
I'm not a huge fan of dating coworkers, HOWEVER, you should appreciate that he's real with you about not being ready to jump into a relationship and that he's not in the place in his life for a serious relationship.
Leave him alone and go on about your life b/c he enjoys the fact that you're “pining” after him…you deserve better than a flirty, emotionally unavailable man.
18 years ago we lost our uncle due to an accident. My aunt was pregnant of their third child back then. She still makes memorial posts about him telling everyone how much she misses him, or “talking to him from heaven” etc etc. She’s still grieving but she also married someone else like 5 years ago. He never made her feel bad for her grief and missing its natural especially when someone is young. The unfairness of it all makes it so much more of a shock.
Op made the right decision of sending her away. She’s not the child’s mother acting out like that and OP needs to find someone that respects that. This gf ain’t it. His late wife will always remain in his heart and he needs to find someone that’s strong enough to be able to accept that. This gf is just extremely immature and insecure about it.
My long distance significant other and I like to watch movies using a browser extension called Teleparty that will sync your streaming services to make sure movies are playing at the same time and we’ll watch them in a FaceTime together 🙂
I don’t think it’s that black and white tbh. I think there are many relationships out there where one person might be into something but they recognize their SO is not into that thing and they’re fine with it. A good (and basic) example is a threesome. Many men might say they’d be open to a threesome with their wife and one other woman but perhaps their wife isn’t open to it. That’s not a reason for the wife to just throw the relationship away as long as the husband is respectful and doesn’t cheat.
In this case OP gf might be open to something but she isn’t demanding it. If OP is enough to fulfill her then her being open to the idea of an open relationship shouldn’t be a deal breaker.
Then sucks to suck! He had a child, that child’s mother happens to be another woman. That means he’s tied to that woman through their child forever, if you can’t get over that and leave the parenting to the parents than you need to let this guy find a gf that can respect his coparenting relationship. But trying to call the shots, demand thing from the child’s mother as well as being nasty to her and just overall being nasty is not going to get you anywhere positive.
Fucked around and found out. Hopefully your husband leaves soon, he deserves better.
Yeah could be.
Return it and move on with your life.
The other thing that sticks out to me is him initially saying “curfew of midnight”, my spouse and I don't set curfews for each other but that's because we typically come home at a reasonable time with kids.
I mean maybe he could get up the next morning with young kids and not be phased by it, but if I'm up that late I'm extremely tired the next day, not motivated, cranky. My spouse sleeps all day. Which is why we don't do it with kids.
Now I wonder if she's doing it to “show him what is like” but that's not good either.
“hey honey, I've got a funny story. But I feel like crap about it, and definitely should've told you sooner….” Then basically just what you said here.
Yes you should've told her when it first came up. But we aren't living in a universe where you can go back and change that. My sister is engaged to someone who lied about his age on a dating profile (intentionally making himself 5-10 years younger, I forget the exact difference). She did investigating on-line and called him out on it. He came clean, and now they've been together for about 4 years. So it's not necessarily the end of the world. Just explain it and be apologetic, but also treat it as a funny story about you being dumb. Good luck
NOIICE
I didn’t think about vulnerability! Thank you! Mannnn, I was really hoping we’d all just become a chill friend group. I’ll tread lightly now though.
Right it’s creepy either way. She should be creeped out and not want to see him again IMO
Absolutely. And I encourage and support what ever desicion is best for him. Our conversation was loving and supportive on both sides.
Yes, it is weird to have your parents host your ex everyday. Child or not.
People keep saying she might be autistic… but non-autistic people have meltdowns like this all the time…sometimes daily. I know this because I work in behavioral/mental health and literally see it. Someone could be chill as hell, just hanging with their peers and something will set them off and they'll do EXACTLY the same behaviors as OPs gf.
That shit sounds abusive. You don’t owe sex to anyone. Also, sex should never be painful unless that’s your thing.
No, that's inaccurate. When you are secure in yourself and who you are you don't feel the need to question who your SO hangs out with, you trust that he comes home to you.
It takes a lot of therapy, and working on yourself to get to that point and I don't encourage anyone to be in a relationship until they get to that stage because the other person shouldn't have to suffer your issues.
He has done nothing wrong by giving her a petname, he does nothing wrong hanging out with her alone, he does nothing wrong drinking with her. You are doing something wrong to yourself by being in a relationship with someone who had a female best friend before you came along if you can't handle it.
Don't ask your partner to give up the things he did with her before you got into the relationship. Work on yourself and your issues. He isn't responsible for how you respond, just like you aren't responsible for how he responds.
If you can't work your issues then you can guarantee that this relationship won't last but I guarantee his best friend will still be there.
There are other legal documents that give you all of those right without having to be married. Custody of children is given to the mother by default so she'd already have that covered whether they marry or not. There's no benefit that marriage gives you that you can't get through other means while not being married. You're just taking on more risk for no reason.
The thing is, she's on her console the majority of the day. So I wouldn't be able to talk to her at all at that point. She will play for 24 hours, not eat or drink, and ignore her medical conditions. It's happened a lot. It's not like she plays for under a few hours only and spends the rest of her time doing other stuff. She's ignored our pets needs while I've been at work, and then the pet has gotten really hungry and destroyed stuff. She didn't even notice :/
You’re a stranger on an app trying to insult strangers? And “I” need to work on myself? Lol okay bud. Self love hun, self love.
I doubt it, I think she's infatuated with someone else.
Your boyfriend is gross and you’re being treated like a transaction.
I know and I feel so stupid… But it's so difficult after so many years to just let go, you know?