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?????? ??? ???, 20 y.o.
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Date: October 23, 2022
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You are right to want to build your own relationship with God. Forcing religion on people who are apprehensive never works and may end up pushing them the opposite direction. He wants to convert to Islam, but you're saying he's your bf and hasn't proposed marriage… Like… How deep is it going to go before he starts calling you names or worse. You said you have family, if they're a good support system, lean on them. You may need them.
Time to get a new bf
Treat her so well that she never questions that she made the right choice getting rid of the other guy. She revealed something to you in her sleep that you should take advantage of. Get her flowers every week!!!!!!!
I donāt have low standards but yes if I was more independent I would have not continue the relationship. But Iām in a new country and have no where to go here.
If you dont want to be there then there is no helping it, you dont want to force being together and dont want to be tied up, I would say that is a valid reason for a breakup. I do not recommend to take a break, it will make you feel more trapped when you go back to it
Just tell your buddy to chill the F out, and talk it out like a normal person. If not then at least you aren't missing out on much.
How did he hurt you?
I think you should leave it. If it helps write him a text. In all likelihood he will not respond.
Be careful here OP. This could easily turn into a he-said-she-said. If you can report her without proof, theres nothing stopping her from lying and saying youve done the same.
Maybe framing it as āfor him itās weird to have a post wedding party but heās going along with it, so I can cut him slack – and manage my mom – by respecting his wishes not to invite his family even if thatās odd to MY familyā would help?
Granted I had to be talked into having one wedding and if my husband had said āoh and hereās another party six weeks later!ā I would have entered witness protection lol. So I feel for your fiancĆ© here.
I hope at the end of the day your mom enjoys her party!
I think youāre 1000% valid in feeling how youāre feeling. No debate from me
However she didnāt show anyone her breasts so I think you should at least talk to her about it and tell her how you feel
She aināt the one for you, dude.
This just isnāt acceptable. What does he say when you have this conversation with him? Having a demanding job isnāt a get out clause for life stuff. Even if all the other issues werenāt in play re your health, itās not good enough. When you arenāt well and are recovering itās disrespectful and unsupportive.
Reading your comments, this is some advice I can give you
You can't change a man, he has to want to change for you himself. If he truly cares he will automatically make that effort without you asking
You had simple standards for a date for your birthday which were basic which was basic hygiene of taking a shower, and dressing nice. And picking you up at a decent time. Those were simple things to ask for, and he couldn't even put in the effort to do that
He is still very much in the child mindset, and is not ready for a relationship.
I wouldn't waste my time giving him until Valentines day to prove different. He isn't going to change at all. He will continue to give the bare minimum on his scale to you, especially if you continue to take it.
This is your first relationship, please listen to those with more experience than you, and cut this guy off, and find someone who treats you better.
You think itās acceptable to beat/kill someone because theyāre trans and didnāt tell you?
āSome guy that will do god knows what with herā
Boy, she was a willing participant.
I think it's also that she never trusted him to me. Aside from her being secretly untrustworthy, she never even gave him a chance to forgive. Either this was a big secret and she knew he'd dump her and wanted to come clean before it was too late and he proposed, or she really thought it was no big deal and would have told him literally any time before now. Maybe she waited until she felt secure enough to trust him? Maybe she knew he wasn't emotionally mature enough to cope with this or she would have told him years ago but she thought he now finally loved her enough they could work through it… unfortunately not the case
If he loved her enough to be considering marriage and spending his whole life with her, this should be nothing to forgive his 19yo child gf lol of 6y past. Does it hurt like hell to hear? Yes of course. But…. Compared to what you'll have to endure in a lifetime with a spouse, someone you can't even trust to forgive you, she can't marry someone like him any more than he can marry her if he sees this as situation as adultery.
But she knew he couldn't handle it then, and time up until now, and he told her point blank he wanted to end the relationship over it already. What more is there to say, trust/love on both sides is irreparably damaged. He can't go back now any more to change his reaction than she can travel in time half a decade to fix her teenage mistakes.
Well you clearly know absolutely nothing about behavioral or mental health.
sorry if you did not get it. so what should i do?
Legal doesnāt mean moral or ethical.
I'm wondering how much pressured he feels to fast? My understanding is that fasting is between you and God. I get that the point is about the lying but you yourself admit that it's very important to you that your husband is fasting. So what is it? The lying or the fasting? If you figure out what's important to you seek the conversation with your partner and understand that there is a lot of cultural pressure on him. Even though in theory it is each individual's business if they are fasting or not.
OMG youāre absolutely gorgeous and your soon to be ex-bf is an immature asshole. Heās 25? Smhā¦
Youāre not dating a man youāre dating a child. Who even gives a shit about the proportions of their gf in front of their friends? Boys grow out of that when they mature into adults. He obviously is not mature enough to be in an adult relationship.
He pretended he was dating your sister??? Because he wanted to flex about his āgfsā proportionsā¦? What a dishonest loser. He should be ashamed of himself. Iād like to have a couple choice words with this chap about respecting women.
Get out now before he even gets close to damaging your self-esteem. You have nothing to worry about. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE AND DONāT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU THINK OTHERWISE.
Look at that ocean behind you. Every single animal in that ocean would be a better bf than your soon to be ex. Youāre 23 and beautiful. Donāt waste your time on the sea sludge. Plenty of guys out there that will love just the way you are! Ditch the sea sludge!
I definitely am. Sometimes I overthink and Iām trying naked to not get too deep into my head.
Fuck that. Arranged marriages are bad enough within families.
Kids are pretty resilient and adaptable. Moving schools and countries will annoy him, but he'll adapt.
You have to consider the impact of not leaving too – what precedent are you setting for your son? What lessons are you teaching him?
Definitely. Presumably OP hasn't gained considerable weight in 3 months — her BF was, potentially, unhappy with her appearance from the start but hoped he could just change her. Fuck that. OP, find someone who loves you the way you are right now.
Be single, you are 18, she can not kick you out if you are on the lease. Tell her to leave.
I think your concern is justified. Is your partner continuing to meet up with her in person? That would be throwing big red flags for me.
I also want to say that I stayed pen pals with my former therapist. We send emails back and forth once a month or so, and just share about what's happening in our lives. To me, that was already pushing it but the two of us worked together for years and had developed a strong rapport. So I do have empathy for people who maintain friendly ties with their therapists, but I think what you're describing goes beyond that.
She totally cheated on you and now itās over. Can you guys fix your marriage? Maybe but it would take real honesty and therapy. I personally think she would be just staying because itās comfortable but that could be why you are staying too.
but am I just being silly?
Yes, you are silly. If going there with him was so important to you, why didn't you talk to him early on and started planning something?
If it's more important to you to go to this country with someone else who's never been….just go on your own or with another friend.
Uh, there are ways to make a woman feel desired and wanted without groping her.
The struggle is because I love adventuring with food. And asking me to restrict myself will stop me from doing that.
Every time he gets a message through to you, begging you to come back, just you remember what it actually is that he misses. He misses all those meals you plan, pay for and prepare. He misses that housework being done. He misses being able to vent about his bad day and crow about his good day to someone. He misses his bills being paid. He misses those excellent blowjobs on the few days he hasnāt managed to find one out in the wild. He had the perfect life all set up- exciting new sex with every second woman he met, and a stooge at home to take care of that pesky, boring ālife adminā stuff.
No wonder he panics when you leave.
Now your only job is to find a therapist to help you work out what on earth in your childhood made you think this is what an equal, loving relationship looks like. Do it fast, youāre gonna have plenty of guys sniffing around you. Itās best you fix your āpickerā before that happens.