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ANAL SEX MACHINE IN FREE/CONTROL69TK [1875 tokens remaining]
Date: September 27, 2022
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Give her an ultimatum honestly. I’m not sure if that’s good advice though, so maybe don’t!
Ok so I don’t mind my bf watching porn, but if he chooses it over me that’s the problem. I’m not saying to disrespect her boundaries, but you shouldn’t have to change a habit that is not harmful Judy because of her. You just need to talk to her, and have her see how this is effecting you and come to an agreement
Ooof this is not good. You absolutely cannot have another child with this man. What if it's also a girl? He has completely dismissed his own responsibility for his existing children, why assume it would be any different for the third. His casual dismissal of his daughters is heartbreaking for them and I don't blame you for being unable to get past this. They don't deserve a father like that and you don't deserve a husband who believes only a boy is valuable. He doesn't 'deserve' a son. He deserves a divorce.
just let her go. seems like she's firm on it. I'm sorry.
Well, if he is visiting, why jot gift him a ticket for some tourist attraction / show in your country?
What they attempted to do to you is sexual assault. Call a domestic violence center and get out of there as soon as possible.
You don't convince her to do it, that's coercion and it won't go over well. Not to mention it's fucked up to do. What you do is: leave her and find another girlfriend who is okay with threesomes, or, throw away the fantasy and don't have one while you're with her. Only two options here.
Who cares WHY he failed to meet reasonable expectations, when the fact is, he failed to meet reasonable expectations.
What’s a better reason; he forgot? He was testing you? Neither one of these answers is good. You want a partner who responds to you within 24h, he has shown you that he’s not it.
Taking these tiny little things as indications of future behavior is exactly what we need to do. This is when people are on their best behavior, likely doing the most they’ll ever do to impress you and make you want to be with them. If he can’t even respond when you think he should, where is there to go from there? If he needs to be taught something that basic is important to you, odds are that there are lots of other things about your core values that don’t match.
And here’s the thing: even if your expectations were less reasonable, you still have a right to them. Even if you thought that he should respond within an hour, wouldn’t you want to find the guy who agrees with you on that?
This isn’t him. Keep looking. Don’t listen to your meddling auntie or your “rules” friends, you don’t have to give everyone a chance. You’re not desperate, and being alone is better than being with someone who sucks.
Maybe press him on the assault thing. Ask him if he is going to press charges. Gauge his response. If he doesn’t want to, see if it seems like he doesn’t want to because it would be embarrassing as a man to admit he was assaulted, or if it seems like he doesn’t want to because he would be lying. You know your boyfriend well enough to tell the difference.
I used to drink a lot, and would black out, and could still remember snippets of the night, in and out, so I can see that being possible. I also made a lot of stupid decisions and definitely have woken up in the middle of sex acts I didn’t consent to – the only difference being, as a woman, I didn’t leave when I snapped out of it because I thought it would be less safe to try to leave the situation than to let it happen.
Bottom line – no matter what happened, only you know whether or not you can recover from this, and it wouldn’t be fair to either of you to try to make it work if you know you’ll never be able to see him in the same light again.
I’m sure that’s true, or you wouldn’t be agreeing to do what your ex says in the first place. But what are your options? See him every day for the rest of your life? Be miserable and under his control? Or set yourself free?
I agree with it being horrible. But surely there is better options than a dude sitting in the house with a machete???
There’s a vast difference between “can you set me up with someone” and “so here’s my magic wand, and here’s my rabbit and bullet. I need dick.”
Hard line boundaries for her. She crossed a line and disrespected your relationship. If she blames it on being high, then don’t be around her when she’s high. This wasn’t normal behaviour imo.
which is why I want us two to not be dependent on them anymore…?
Lawyer. Talk to a lawyer, not reddit.
The way I would embarrass this girl ? like you said calling her out in front of everyone should be done. Let her home wrecking actions come to light for everyone.
The fact that this guy had sex with a married woman should have been a red flag because it shows that his values are corrupted. If he is the affair, he will most definitely would be okay with having one.
The next red flag would’ve been that he is still friends with said married sexual encounter, sees her constantly in a private setting, and talks to her everyday. She’s a big part of his life.
Another red flag is that although he seems to be open with you, he is still keeping this said friend distanced from you. Whether it is to make you feel more comfortable, or to hide something from you, you have let this fly for way too long because “you don’t want to seem controlling”. When it’s actually perfectly fine to have boundaries. It’s not controlling, it’s healthy.
Now, the fact that he mentioned he wants a threesome with her, shows that he still is interested in her and possibly never stopped being intimate with her, but wants permission from you to keep cheating.
And now he’s gaslighting you for finally opening your eyes. Please leave him
Don’t you fucking apologize.
Weird that you came here for a victory lap in a situation that is either fake or way too complex for an 18 year old to handle with a potentially abusive partner. Could it be trauma? Definitely, but she should be as far from this situation as possible.
She sounds like she is ok with sexual flirty… the vibratory thing you could certainly add “well go for it, will have me dreaming about you.” “would love to try it together someday”. She has set the convo tone, just don't go too much further iykwim
Complaining about no action… 2 possibles… she is checking if you have had action. So if true, confirm. your lack of action… that your bedroom is so used to you just being alone it would get jealous if you had a girl over. Or, telling her you would love to end both your dry spells together. Or, saying she is so gorgeous and funny/easy to talk to that you are shocked she doesn't have a million men chasing her.
So compliments or confirm you are interested… but light and fun
do you know any trans people? because i do, and they take it very seriously because their actual physical safety and damn lives depend on it. taking strangers comments live that you don’t even know are part of the trans community as representative then making some asshole statement about how they should on-line is a reflection of your lack of critical thinking, not on the trans community itself.
My husband and I were also long distance (3.5hours apart) when we met and we stayed that way for a year before moving in together. Obviously once we moved in we got to know each other much more intimately but I certainly knew his flaws and he knew mine before we got to that point and we were fully in love before then too. This is clearly different for everyone but saying it’s unlikely for someone to truly be in love before living together or closing the distance just doesn’t ring true in my personal experience.
PREACHHH ??????
This totally works! Say hey can I give you my number and see where that goes
The one who you need to drop… IS YOUR FRIEND
He is a nutjob. Run.
You don't convince her, because there is no reason the 23 year old babysitter needs to come “help you with laundry” while her and the baby aren't there. Laundry isn't that naked to do.
That’s why she doesn’t want to issue an ultimatum. She knows
Yeah you are right just wanted to hear it from someone else, because I have been second guessing myself.
You mean your ex right
I agree. If he phrased it the way he did in this post, it shouldn't turn into a huge argument. Sounds like she may be hiding something.
Sorry if it sounds clichĂ©, but try a rebound. Your self esteem has taken a hit with this and it will feel good to explore your own options. Show yourself that there *are* other guys out there who would jump at a chance with you. He wants to go out and slang his meat at whoever wants to give him the opportunity. That's not cool with you and you shouldn't wait around. If in a few years, the stars align and you guys decide to try again then that's great….but don't hinge your own future on it. You don't have to burn the bridge with him, but take a queue from his playbook and with an open mind, go make sure you're not missing out on anything either.
You're bringing that up. Post links, or it's just your opinion.
I made more than my ex, but she couldn't keep her credit card under control, I got tired of helping her pay them and fixing her credit…
That was actually my point. Thanks for saying it better ?
It's horrible having to prove your life but you will and you need to find someone who trying to take your wife from you