Because she is insecure and wants to compare herself against them. It's an unnecessary and unfair comparison. If she isn't emotionally mature enough to understand those things, the likelihood she will be able to carry on a mature and healthy relationship is almost nil. I personally see this question as a red flag. It's a great way to weed out unsuitable partners.
Sorry that you have children and love with a woman like that. “We hate you and we're leaving” that's not something that she just made up mid argument. No apologies for that. Outrageous.
Offer to start her off with a Threesome with two guys instead of going straight to a two female Threeseome. She's less likely to agree to share you unless she knows that you'd be willing to do the same thing instead of hypocritically expecting her to be the only one to have to share their partner with someone else
Are you fucking seriously asking if this is worth breaking up over?? How could you think this is normal and healthy! No. Just no. What would you say to your best friend if they told you this? Would you tell them to stay? He's right. He's a psycho
You honestly don't even really have the support of your partner. He doesn't want this kid and tells you it's your problem. Thats not support lol. But I also don't blame him one bit.
How long have you been with him? Did he go to College or does he have any job training? Is he putting money towards retirement?
It sounds like he doesn't have the talent to hear pitch, and imo without that he won't make it in the music industry. He's already 35, most people have made it by then (obviously there's exceptions). What exactly is his plan, how does he expect to make money from this hobby and by when? Not sure what your life plans are but if you want a family, you probably want him to have a job (or stay home and look after the kids?). These are all things to think about.
Wouldnt you say the same is true for the guy? This guy may have come out of his previous marriage raked across the coals and if so he would feel no security in marriage.
I didn’t realize until about a week into our relationship that my boyfriend didn’t know I was on birth control (i dont know why i assumed he knew, either lmao)
I asked him why on earth he would be having sex with me without protection if he didn’t know if I was even on birth control or not and he was like, “I took you being okay with it as you being on birth control”
Very good point. And I do believe I can forgive the betrayal. I guess what just drove me to get angry was that her apology didn’t seem convincing enough.
Idk about you, but If I messed up that big, and my partner didn’t seem over it, I would keep having the conversation to give that reassurance and to apologize until my partner feels better.
Even if I want to leave that in the past, I can’t demand that they should, if I made the mistake.
one of my guilty pleasures is to watch Paternity Court, and when the child (sometimes an adult already) finds out that someone is really his dad, there is such strong emotion. 2 people who literally know almost nothing about each other, but just knowing they are father and child, was enough to get them crying and missing each other and expressing love to each other. that's for the case of the unknown father who wanted to know his kid.
it looks like you're one of those dads. don't be afraid to express your emotions and words to your kid. even if your dad didn't do it for you, and you always thought in your head, if you ever have a kid, you're going to do things differently. now, you do. so do things differently from how your dad or your parents treated you when you were a kid.
To be honest, I would break up with him. He is being creepy by keeping intimate pictures and videos of former partners. Do these former partners know that these pictures/videos were even taken?
If you do choose to stay with him, it is very possible that you may never get over this uncomfortable feeling. First step would probably be communicating with him, but I don’t think that would work in this case considering he argued with you for keeping a video he wasn’t supposed to have vs apologizing or even deleting it once he was no longer seeing this other girl. This whole situation just gives off major red flags…
Why is everything your problem? She picked a fight and it's your job to protect her? And now she's picking a fight with you and it's your job to … take her side in that too?
I'm a woman. I don't expect my husband or any man to protect me. I don't start fights I'm not ready to finish, which is why I seldom start fights. I'd honestly be pissed if I was having a disagreement and my husband stepped in. That's insulting.
She wants a divorce over the one incident of her having road rage? Take it. It'll be messy and difficult but only for a year or so compared with a lifetime of trying to please her. (I'm sure her issue isn't really just this one thing, but is the relationship honestly making you happy?)
I don't know what kind of childhood you have had, but it seems like you've been conditionned to believe that chaos is normal. It is not.
You've said that you've been on your own since you were 16. That's tough. Aren't you tired man? Tired of getting fucked around by the people that should have your back and be supportive (your family) ?
If so, then why are you bringing ANOTHER unsupportive, disrespectful person into your life? You are born into your family so you can't chose them. But you sure a hell can choose your friends and your partner.
You have enough assholes in your life and shit to deal with at your young age. Do not let this woman back into your life.
She punched you, she is irresponsible, she has no respect for her friends or her boyfriend. You don't need someone like that when you yourself are starting out in life. This much drama for a relationship that is not even 1 year old is… Not fucking worth it my dude.
One of them has done this before, many years ago when we were younger. He disappeared into thin air for 1.5 years. Always made excuses that he wasn't feeling well or blablabla. He was just clung to a girl. At that point I no longer even considered him a friend since I never saw him and moved on.
Long story short: girl cheated on him, he cried in front of me, apologized for being a shit friend and said if he's ever in a relationship he won't become like that again, that he was young and dumb and we were best friends ever since.
And here we are, half a decade later, and it's happening again. This time with both of them.
I have a feeling that once they get out of their honeymoon phases theyll then want to hang out with me just to get out of the house like some old bitter Grandpas. I don't want that or that kind of friendship.
When my husband is really ill, it tears me up and I do everything I can to support his recovery. Sometimes he feels bad that he's requiring so much, and he puts in effort to give back but it just ends up costing him more.
In those times, I wish he would just focus on getting better and accept my help so he doesn't get worse.
I suggest, as you may soon be incapacitated, that you let her help you all she wants. Don't cause greater suffering for you both by being obstinate. Accept her love with grace.
And then when you're back to yourself, I'm sure you'll have thought of a few good ways to express your gratitude, love and devotion. Just my two cents
Get some sex toys and have fun with wife.
Because she is insecure and wants to compare herself against them. It's an unnecessary and unfair comparison. If she isn't emotionally mature enough to understand those things, the likelihood she will be able to carry on a mature and healthy relationship is almost nil. I personally see this question as a red flag. It's a great way to weed out unsuitable partners.
I can’t explain how grateful I am for all these comments, they’re helping me open my eyes to a bigger picture
It says 24..and what's the problem with that?
Not relationship advice but please be very careful not to get that drunk again. Anything could have happened to you
Sorry that you have children and love with a woman like that. “We hate you and we're leaving” that's not something that she just made up mid argument. No apologies for that. Outrageous.
Offer to start her off with a Threesome with two guys instead of going straight to a two female Threeseome. She's less likely to agree to share you unless she knows that you'd be willing to do the same thing instead of hypocritically expecting her to be the only one to have to share their partner with someone else
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Are you fucking seriously asking if this is worth breaking up over?? How could you think this is normal and healthy! No. Just no. What would you say to your best friend if they told you this? Would you tell them to stay? He's right. He's a psycho
You honestly don't even really have the support of your partner. He doesn't want this kid and tells you it's your problem. Thats not support lol. But I also don't blame him one bit.
I had a friend that used to say “it was a joke” after he sexually harassed me….not a joke at all
The company is called “Big Business Pty Ltd”
He’s probably just more attracted to her and she won’t make him change, it’s the easy way out, he’s a weak man.
How long have you been with him? Did he go to College or does he have any job training? Is he putting money towards retirement?
It sounds like he doesn't have the talent to hear pitch, and imo without that he won't make it in the music industry. He's already 35, most people have made it by then (obviously there's exceptions). What exactly is his plan, how does he expect to make money from this hobby and by when? Not sure what your life plans are but if you want a family, you probably want him to have a job (or stay home and look after the kids?). These are all things to think about.
Keep the baby. Even if you loose your family, you get a new family with you and your baby.
Wouldnt you say the same is true for the guy? This guy may have come out of his previous marriage raked across the coals and if so he would feel no security in marriage.
I didn’t realize until about a week into our relationship that my boyfriend didn’t know I was on birth control (i dont know why i assumed he knew, either lmao)
I asked him why on earth he would be having sex with me without protection if he didn’t know if I was even on birth control or not and he was like, “I took you being okay with it as you being on birth control”
So…
Very good point. And I do believe I can forgive the betrayal. I guess what just drove me to get angry was that her apology didn’t seem convincing enough.
Idk about you, but If I messed up that big, and my partner didn’t seem over it, I would keep having the conversation to give that reassurance and to apologize until my partner feels better.
Even if I want to leave that in the past, I can’t demand that they should, if I made the mistake.
one of my guilty pleasures is to watch Paternity Court, and when the child (sometimes an adult already) finds out that someone is really his dad, there is such strong emotion. 2 people who literally know almost nothing about each other, but just knowing they are father and child, was enough to get them crying and missing each other and expressing love to each other. that's for the case of the unknown father who wanted to know his kid.
it looks like you're one of those dads. don't be afraid to express your emotions and words to your kid. even if your dad didn't do it for you, and you always thought in your head, if you ever have a kid, you're going to do things differently. now, you do. so do things differently from how your dad or your parents treated you when you were a kid.
Xanax makes me cry like a big whaling baby
To be honest, I would break up with him. He is being creepy by keeping intimate pictures and videos of former partners. Do these former partners know that these pictures/videos were even taken?
If you do choose to stay with him, it is very possible that you may never get over this uncomfortable feeling. First step would probably be communicating with him, but I don’t think that would work in this case considering he argued with you for keeping a video he wasn’t supposed to have vs apologizing or even deleting it once he was no longer seeing this other girl. This whole situation just gives off major red flags…
Why is everything your problem? She picked a fight and it's your job to protect her? And now she's picking a fight with you and it's your job to … take her side in that too?
I'm a woman. I don't expect my husband or any man to protect me. I don't start fights I'm not ready to finish, which is why I seldom start fights. I'd honestly be pissed if I was having a disagreement and my husband stepped in. That's insulting.
She wants a divorce over the one incident of her having road rage? Take it. It'll be messy and difficult but only for a year or so compared with a lifetime of trying to please her. (I'm sure her issue isn't really just this one thing, but is the relationship honestly making you happy?)
I don't know what kind of childhood you have had, but it seems like you've been conditionned to believe that chaos is normal. It is not.
You've said that you've been on your own since you were 16. That's tough. Aren't you tired man? Tired of getting fucked around by the people that should have your back and be supportive (your family) ?
If so, then why are you bringing ANOTHER unsupportive, disrespectful person into your life? You are born into your family so you can't chose them. But you sure a hell can choose your friends and your partner.
You have enough assholes in your life and shit to deal with at your young age. Do not let this woman back into your life.
She punched you, she is irresponsible, she has no respect for her friends or her boyfriend. You don't need someone like that when you yourself are starting out in life. This much drama for a relationship that is not even 1 year old is… Not fucking worth it my dude.
If you find someone with low self-esteem, you can be as mediocre as much as you want.
Runnnnn forest runnn
One of them has done this before, many years ago when we were younger. He disappeared into thin air for 1.5 years. Always made excuses that he wasn't feeling well or blablabla. He was just clung to a girl. At that point I no longer even considered him a friend since I never saw him and moved on.
Long story short: girl cheated on him, he cried in front of me, apologized for being a shit friend and said if he's ever in a relationship he won't become like that again, that he was young and dumb and we were best friends ever since.
And here we are, half a decade later, and it's happening again. This time with both of them.
I have a feeling that once they get out of their honeymoon phases theyll then want to hang out with me just to get out of the house like some old bitter Grandpas. I don't want that or that kind of friendship.
Ask your male friends what happened.
I'm betting that your friends guilted their SOs into these promises, stuff they never really wanted to do, and this was the result.
When my husband is really ill, it tears me up and I do everything I can to support his recovery. Sometimes he feels bad that he's requiring so much, and he puts in effort to give back but it just ends up costing him more.
In those times, I wish he would just focus on getting better and accept my help so he doesn't get worse.
I suggest, as you may soon be incapacitated, that you let her help you all she wants. Don't cause greater suffering for you both by being obstinate. Accept her love with grace.
And then when you're back to yourself, I'm sure you'll have thought of a few good ways to express your gratitude, love and devotion. Just my two cents