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Date: April 7, 2023
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I would say, even if this was an error in judgement as opposed to actively trying to push your boundaries (like maliciously trying to test how far he can push), I would address it as a damaging error in judgement. This is one of those times where intent, which is already questionable, should not be used to lighten the severity of his actions.
If you do not see any other boundary pushing behavior, then definitely make sure that this was not okay this time and will not be tolerated. I would also say, as many have in this thread, to stop having sex without protection. I know thereβs a difference but I donβt see how itβs worth the immense worry.
She asked for our opinions about strip clubs and how to phrase her discomfort to her partner. And sheβs not being ridiculous; each couple gets to choose how they handle boundaries regarding strip clubs. Not wanting your partner to go is a perfectly reasonable boundary to have.
Sheβs not intense, sheβs nuts. Cut your losses and get out now. Itβs only been 4 months.
I mean, lying is never an option, but I can't really blame you about what you did. Shit sounds exhausting.
Anyone who loses sleep over choices you made before you even knew him is bad news. That's unhinged, unexcusable levels of jealousy. This relationship will end badly. It will only get worse from here. There are no compromises that will actually satisfy him. He will always hold this over your head, and he will always manipulate you into unduly feeling terrible about a totally normal and okay past. Please believe me: I am speaking from experience.