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?Eve, 18 y.o.
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Date: October 7, 2022
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My dad used to pass out drunk at the computer with his hand down his pants and porn playing… Yes I would be pissed if I were you.
Yeah, I think maybe check in each time before touching in public
Talk to them directly about the impact. Encourage therapy. Use the methods in the book The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox to pull them back from trauma dumping.
I am trying my best, everything. She doesn't want go therapy, or anything!
Hence I am here talking with strangers trying to get from others people experience!
Was this post written by a golden retriever?
I communicate this way and my wife is autistic and it drives her INSANE. I’m working very nude on not doing it because treating her like that is hurtful.
It's just a polite thing to say when someone has moved to your area. It's not an obligation to do anything and there isn't a list. Personally, unless there were no other options I'd limit my requests for assistance to things like recommendations for places to go, see, easy, shop, if even that.
I’m 31F and I don’t want to have a baby soon or ever. It’s not all of us. I still wouldn’t date a 22 year old because we are not at the same stage in life.
Please don't ignore these huge red flags. You say he has become hostile. That is something you shouldn't ignore. Only you know how bad it is (you haven't specified many details) but once you're married to someone that is hostile… It's going to be much harder to leave. And the hostility may increase, it most probably will and that's a scary thought. Please take this into consideration. Your safety matters the most here, physically as well mentally.
Thank you
don’t answer any calls unless you know that they are in your contacts. go completely 100% no contact with this person and their family. They are manipulating you !!! you deserve better.
Ty and yea i have been trying to get switched to day shift so i can be there more to share the load and help out but im the least experienced operator at my job so i doubt i will get the switch anytime soon. I have always been supportive and tried to be there for my wife but sometimes it just upsets her because i try to talk it through. She said its because i can be and i quote ” too well adjusted”
Whether it happened once or more, can you accept being with someone who cheated on you? Can you accept being with someone who cheated on you and then kept it from you?
and she may have been doing it as well as some of the comments said, breed me nice and deep.
This is so right. I would do exactly the same in her shoes. When my now 16 year old was little I would always let him win at everything, and my then husband would make sure to tell him I was letting him win, as well as lecture me about how I was going to teach him to be a sore looser blah blah blah. Well, said kiddo is a big brother now, and he’s far from a sore looser. You know what actually happened? He learned about compassion and empathy and that you don’t always need to win just because you can. You know how I know? On MANY occasions I have observed him allowing his younger siblings to win, just like I did for him. When I mentioned it to him (out of earshot of the others, because I’m not a huge dick) he told me that he remembers how good it made him feel to beat me when dad wasn’t around to ruin it, and he wanted his siblings to feel like that
Listen to your gut, it will never steer your wrong.
You need to calm yourself.
Terrible advice. Its not his responsibility at all.
He didn’t consent to having sex with a person who was male at birth and had a penis.
Honey, learn now, mom may make her choices, but as far as your love life, mom doesn't get a vote.
Judging by OP that means her father said she couldn't have a pony so she went ballistic
You’re doing the most to justify him saying this and it’s ridiculous. He said that MESSED UP pancakes resemble her genitals. That’s not saying he wants to eat her out or saying she looks good. He said that MESSED UP things look like her. That is negative, not positive.
Always nice to think of Tate in a nice, rodent infested jail.
Well, it's rodent infested NOW.
Whether your relationship ends is up to him unfortunately Op, not all people can handle being in a relationship where the other is dealing with their own mental health (as most redditors have seen in this forum alone). Communication is key to keep things from being overwhelming and the best you can do is respect each others choices going forward.
As for your grandmother’s dementia, is there other family that can step in to start taking care of her property/belongings or at least distributing it into safer places? If she has dementia, she going to have to name someone a manager of her estate, as she will no longer be able to in her condition. At the very least they should agree to have security cameras or house alert to protect her estate (and you while you live! there). I know it might seem scary but taking an active approach on securing your own safety is the best way of controlling your fear and not letting it control you. You can’t always rely on another person to make you feel safe.
Run. You’ll never be good enough for your future MIL
why would you allow yourself to be subjected to someone as disgusting as this?
Wow… should have been an ex right on the spot.
OK… so let's break this down into two options.
Are you still in love? If the answer is yes then that complicates things a little. She clearly has some issues that need resolving and I would definitely recommend postponing the wedding until the drinking etc etc is dealt with. You're not cruel for doing that and it's nobody else's business. If the choice is mutual then you're doing it for both of you. She can seek therapy or rehabilitation, and then when her condition has improved and you two feel stronger as a couple you can talk about marriage again.
Now here's the big one. Based on your last sentence, you don't really love her anymore. If that's the case then you really need to cancel the wedding and be straight up honest with her about it. Honestly, next week is very last minute and there's going to be lot of pain from her, judgement from family (yours and hers) and logistics and maybe money involved for the cancellation. But honestly, it's more cruel to stay with someone you don't love and get married and give them that false hope when it just isn't there for you anymore. You'd be doing both of you a favour in the long term. Horrible decision to make though, mate! Good luck
Fair
That’s true. I feel like I need to start expressing my thoughts more to her.
How do you know he is actually not cheating on his partner?
Who knows. I wouldn't waste my time trying to figure out what happened. You'll find a woman who is interested and who will make time for you.
Ah yes, the old “I can be a dick to people because I have (insert trait that surprisingly does not cause dickish behavior, therefore is not a proper excuse for being a dickweasel)
So he's playing the whole turn it around to blame you game so that he can do what he wants in the future and you won't say shit in order to not upset him. He should be the one feeling shame for his actions. If he can't respect your boundaries, he's not worth much.
I don't blame your stepdad, I just think it was a bad situation. There's an innate biological urge in animals to reproduce, and it's stronger in some than others. If your stepdad wants to have his own family, and your mother cannot give him that, then they are not right for each other. It's no different than if someone needs emotional support, and doesn't get it. Your partner is supposed to fulfill your needs, otherwise the relationship won't work. Needs and life goals must align.
Your mother has passed her child bearing years and needs to find a man who doesn't want more children. Then she'll be happy. Clearly your stepdad still wanted to have kids, and that's why I didn't work, and he's still at the age where he can easily start a new family. Of course, I don't know all the details of their relationships and maybe things could have been done better, but humans are human. We are imperfect.
If you love your stepdad, then maintain a relationship with him. What you'll often find in these situations is your mother will try to use you to hurt him, because he hurt her. In a case like this, your mother isn't actually trying to help you, she's trying to use you as a tool of vengeance. You don't have to hide it from your mother, but you must set boundaries. If he was and still is an important part of your life, then keep him in your life and tell your mother that. If she refuses to understand, then it's a lack of maturity on your mother's part. You may think older people can handle ancient relationship pain with more grace, but I can tell you that is definitely not the fact! I've seen older women hold grudges over something that happened literally 50 years ago! They can't let it go and they can't forgive. Ultimately, how you on-line your life is your choice, and you shouldn't allow anyone else, even your mother, to strong arm you and to behaving a certain way only because it gives her a little schadenfreude. Good luck.
I understand that, but this specific account utilizes it so much. The only reason I called it out is because I recognized the specific username from commenting it often. I mean, c'mon, 13 times in the last two weeks? On various subs? Usually not even giving any advice to the matter at hand?
Just odd to me that the user cares so much that they feel the need to trigger a script to get a notification when OP gives more information on how he dealt with an awkward/uncomfortable situation with his girlfriend. The story itself isn't even particularly noteworthy. And I'm sure it doesn't make OP feel good that some random acc is following the story for updates like it's a serialized TV drama.