We just knew we want to get married eventually, but didn’t have a concrete idea when. I’m ready to go on this journey with them. I’ll have them for as long as they’ll have me. Idk. I guess I’d rather just try until I can’t no more then leave now and wonder what could’ve been. I just know I want them if I can have them. But I thank you for your input. I truly appreciate you not making it completely doom and gloom haha.
Take that job and move on. He is not your BF nor marriage material. You’re not his person. He is not willing to do things to make to make you happy but he will for a 19 year old girl. Leave the creep and seize other opportunities in a relationship and career.
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That's a personal journey. I was fortunate enough to receive news I was awarded a full-tuition scholarship within hours of breaking up, I used that to stay as busy as humanly possible and devote myself to something. I would say my grieving process after a decades long relationship has been fairly easy.
You’re purposefully misinterpreting what I’m saying to fit some weird sexist narrative. The gender here doesn’t matte this could happen to anyone and I’d say the same.
She should leave until her husband gets back and she can have a non stranger in the house to feel more comfortable or she gets a security system installed, they don’t take to long
What she is asking isn’t a big issue or unreasonable.
It is definitely both of those things. Imagine if someone said that you needed their verbal consent before talking about the weather. Hey that's their comfort level and boundaries, right? But it's wildly impractical, highly unusual, and a sign that the person has some underlying issue that needs to be addressed not encouraged.
The fact that she needed someone else to come and assist in communicating this problem only further proves the point. She is literally scared of the person she's currently dating despite having zero reason to be.
1, 2 & parts of 4 really sound like adult ADHD. Has he ever been tested? Might be something to look into as medication might help with the failure to engage and notice things.
I’ve once or twice clicked with someone much younger that I thought was cute. When I found out how old they were my immediate thought was alway “oh god no ew. There will be no cradle robbing today sir!” and then miraculously didn’t date them.
I’m pretty sure that if she kissed another guy and now she isn’t “sure” that your relationship is beyond repair. She should be begging you to forgive her not compare what you’ve done to her. It actually sounds like she was hoping you were going to end it. She’s not a kid, she should know her own mind. Ask her flat out if she wants to break up and if she says anything other than no, break up
OP, stop being a prisoner to this issue! If he is suicidal, whether you are with him or not with him isn't going to matter.
It's gone on way too long. I could go on and on, but the bottom line is that you have given him all you had, and now this is affecting YOUR mental health.
Please, don't do this anymore. It's not your job to continually suffer through life. It's not your job to try and fix him. Only he can fix him, and only if he cares to make the effort. Please get a lawyer and make a good plan to end this marriage. You still have time to find someone to love and have a good and happy life.
' I was being silly and made no sense with my deal breaker.'
The trouble with ultimata is that once you've laid one down you either have to follow through with your threatened action, or you are forever rendered impotent and your threats are worth nothing and can be safely ignored – as she is doing.
Dude there's no freaking survey system where people got interviewed, asked about it and it got tallied. Some people have and some people haven't.
Like I said, if you hang out with people who do drugs you're more likely to meet other people who do drugs like your friend who boasted about what he did. He does drugs so obviously he found other people who did drugs and was cool with it.
Stop asking childish questions that can't be answered because there's no system for identifying “who's had coke snorted off their tits” because not everyone freaking advertises it.
He know this is a dealbreaker, and he doesn't care. He's 50 and set in his ways. You're 30 and there to be young and stroke his ego and entertain him and occupy his time when he doesn't have something more interesting to do, such as spend time doting on his daughter.
Good job op
We just knew we want to get married eventually, but didn’t have a concrete idea when. I’m ready to go on this journey with them. I’ll have them for as long as they’ll have me. Idk. I guess I’d rather just try until I can’t no more then leave now and wonder what could’ve been. I just know I want them if I can have them. But I thank you for your input. I truly appreciate you not making it completely doom and gloom haha.
Take that job and move on. He is not your BF nor marriage material. You’re not his person. He is not willing to do things to make to make you happy but he will for a 19 year old girl. Leave the creep and seize other opportunities in a relationship and career.
Stop lending him your car. He’s taking the piss.
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Everyone farts. Even him. He needs to get over himself. You can't help farting in your sleep. Wtf ?
That's a personal journey. I was fortunate enough to receive news I was awarded a full-tuition scholarship within hours of breaking up, I used that to stay as busy as humanly possible and devote myself to something. I would say my grieving process after a decades long relationship has been fairly easy.
You’re purposefully misinterpreting what I’m saying to fit some weird sexist narrative. The gender here doesn’t matte this could happen to anyone and I’d say the same.
She should leave until her husband gets back and she can have a non stranger in the house to feel more comfortable or she gets a security system installed, they don’t take to long
What she is asking isn’t a big issue or unreasonable.
It is definitely both of those things. Imagine if someone said that you needed their verbal consent before talking about the weather. Hey that's their comfort level and boundaries, right? But it's wildly impractical, highly unusual, and a sign that the person has some underlying issue that needs to be addressed not encouraged.
The fact that she needed someone else to come and assist in communicating this problem only further proves the point. She is literally scared of the person she's currently dating despite having zero reason to be.
You never owe anyone your love or friendship.
1, 2 & parts of 4 really sound like adult ADHD. Has he ever been tested? Might be something to look into as medication might help with the failure to engage and notice things.
I’ve once or twice clicked with someone much younger that I thought was cute. When I found out how old they were my immediate thought was alway “oh god no ew. There will be no cradle robbing today sir!” and then miraculously didn’t date them.
Exactly. It can be naked but you got this!
Again, I really feel like you need to disconnect the two issues.
The fear of having a child too soon is not the same as what it will be like to have a child that you have planned for.
This dude is 25. Is his unemployment temporary, or has he never worked a day in his life?
What are his future goals? Do they align with yours?
You feel dumb because he intentionally deceived you and on top of it, he got the whole friend group to as well.
I don't know how you build trust after thar.
I’m pretty sure that if she kissed another guy and now she isn’t “sure” that your relationship is beyond repair. She should be begging you to forgive her not compare what you’ve done to her. It actually sounds like she was hoping you were going to end it. She’s not a kid, she should know her own mind. Ask her flat out if she wants to break up and if she says anything other than no, break up
OP, stop being a prisoner to this issue! If he is suicidal, whether you are with him or not with him isn't going to matter.
It's gone on way too long. I could go on and on, but the bottom line is that you have given him all you had, and now this is affecting YOUR mental health.
Please, don't do this anymore. It's not your job to continually suffer through life. It's not your job to try and fix him. Only he can fix him, and only if he cares to make the effort. Please get a lawyer and make a good plan to end this marriage. You still have time to find someone to love and have a good and happy life.
true…
Is it a dealbreaker or is it not?
' I was being silly and made no sense with my deal breaker.'
The trouble with ultimata is that once you've laid one down you either have to follow through with your threatened action, or you are forever rendered impotent and your threats are worth nothing and can be safely ignored – as she is doing.
Dude there's no freaking survey system where people got interviewed, asked about it and it got tallied. Some people have and some people haven't.
Like I said, if you hang out with people who do drugs you're more likely to meet other people who do drugs like your friend who boasted about what he did. He does drugs so obviously he found other people who did drugs and was cool with it.
Stop asking childish questions that can't be answered because there's no system for identifying “who's had coke snorted off their tits” because not everyone freaking advertises it.
A 21 year old with a 16 year old is somehow okay though?? It's not, I have personal experience.
?????
He know this is a dealbreaker, and he doesn't care. He's 50 and set in his ways. You're 30 and there to be young and stroke his ego and entertain him and occupy his time when he doesn't have something more interesting to do, such as spend time doting on his daughter.
We didn’t do anything intimate for about 3 weeks (and 4-5 dates) after the first one.
Yeah i'm with you lol
Leave him ASAP! This is partner rape and it is not going to get better.
That sounds absolutely terrifying, and him minimizing it is awful. You're young. Dump him because there are plenty of considerate guys out there.