Get the money first. He seems to be offering to take the hit to persuade her not to end it. He'd be a lot less motivated to cover her losses if she'd already broken up with him.
“I don’t want to waste my time on a girl that can’t commit”. Says the guy that couldn’t commit to her in person and now that he misses her wants he wants her to commit to him via long distance. Yeah, nah, she’s making the right choice for herself. You fumbled the ball and can’t be mad that she’s keeping her options opened.
Each person in the relationship should get things out of it. What do you get out of this? It may not feel like it now, but you will be MUCH HAPPIER single. It is cruel to treat your partner the way she is treating you. If she loved you she would put in the time and put in the effort. It is as simple as that.
I'll repeat myself, when you love someone you put in the effort.
The problem with stuff like this is that we're only getting one side of the story. OP has posted what the question was but we don't get tone through text. You can 100% ask that question with an accusatory tone behind it. It's a tactic that's pretty common, do everything to suggest your partner is cheating without actually saying those words so when they get upset you can deny it then blame their anger as evidence of cheating.
But let's look at the situation. You REALLY think your husband is cheating on you with this girl while there are 3 other people in the house??? Sure mom can't do stairs but is she deaf? Plus kids running around getting ready for school, plus Dad getting ready for work….this is not an environment conducive to creating “sexy time” lol.
Something tells me this isn't the first time something like this has come up. Your husband said he didn't mention working out together because you'd feel “left out”, so has there been previous situations where you've been upset blaming him for not including you, ignoring you etc. Basically do you have a history of acting jealous around him?
I've seen a lot of suggestions about a Nanny Cam, unless you discuss it with your husband first that's a time bomb waiting to go off as that would essentially be spying on him, proving you think he's a cheater. If you don't then you'd discuss it with him first.
Also have you bothered to ask the woman in question? Ask her if she was in there? That would be a logical step and if you're not doing it, for whatever reason, it just adds to the look that you're trying to catch him cheating.
Then the only thing that's not clear here is whether you have joined her for those sessions. You keep talking about her going to therapy but all her issues stem from you (and her mother, possibly), and what sounds like a rough childhood.
If you haven't gone to any therapy with her, you really need to.
Nothing wrong with her being trans and if you don’t have an issue with it then it would be fine, but there is everything wrong with her lying about it for four months. I would end the relationship, she knowingly lied to you out of fear you may not accept her if you knew the truth. That’s manipulation, she took the choice away from you until you already had an emotional connection.
I've called animal protection before for a separate case and was told as long as it has food and water and doesn't show obvious signs of abuse there's not much they can do, I'm worried I don't have enough to give them yet
A part of me really wants to wait until I come back from my trip to see if he is acting differently towards me. But the thought of being away for 2 weeks wondering what he’s doing would drive me crazy I think. But seeing him admit he fucked up would be gold, I’m not going to lie. But I’m tempted to also play the long con because I hate confronting people and being proved wrong hah.
You can support your sister’s transition without giving away a family heirloom that was gifted to you. You were the oldest daughter at the time you received the ring, and your sister’s transition doesn’t change that.
Whenever she mentions the ring, I think you just need to stand firm that you support and love your sister, but at the time, you were the oldest daughter and the ring was gifted to you. Gifts aren’t meant to be taken away because somebody else is more “deserving” of the gift.
Your parents are your parents. They made you who you are. Your fiance loves you for who you are. Remember that. There is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Be proud of yourself, because by feeling ashamed of your parents what you are really saying is that you don't feel good enough for your fiance and his family. You absolutely are good enough. Don't ever doubt that. Money does not make a person worthy.
To the wedding. You are a couple. You aren't merely preparing for a wedding. You are preparing for a marriage. As such, you must start thinking and acting like a married couple. That means that you work through things together. If you cannot afford a big wedding, you have to discuss it with your partner and come up with a budget and financial plan. Together.
We were planning to get married on Halloween because it's my favourite Holiday and we had already started planning for it, but this fight just shook me to my core.
I don't really have a place to go at the moment, so I am just really clueless about what to do.
I'm guessing you're reading this right, meaning yes, your gf's statement was toxic. There's a bigger problem, though, and it's her relationship with her mother. She basically threw you under the bus in her rush to put mommy first. Is this how you want your marriage to run? I hope not. Don't be one of those people who think this stuff gets better with marriage. It gets worse because the stakes get higher.
My only other reaction has to do with the actual purchase. When you say “I am buying….” I assume this means you are the sole owner listed on the mortgage and sales contract? Leave it that way.
Honestly, none of this sounds healthy, but if you're determined to keep seeing her and possibly marrying her, make sure you know the community property laws in your state. In fact, another thing I'll toss out is it's hardly mandatory that she online there with you. I know that sounds crazy after 4 years, but she was only 19 when this began.
Ding ding ding!!!!
Get the money first. He seems to be offering to take the hit to persuade her not to end it. He'd be a lot less motivated to cover her losses if she'd already broken up with him.
She has to be a good candidate for reconciliation, and she is failing already.
The meetup during your planned trip is an extra level of disrespect to you.
So, your mental health will suffer, and that will affect your daughter.
It is better to be two good coparents instead of one miserable unit.
Contact a lawyer and tell the APs significant other if there is one.
“I don’t want to waste my time on a girl that can’t commit”. Says the guy that couldn’t commit to her in person and now that he misses her wants he wants her to commit to him via long distance. Yeah, nah, she’s making the right choice for herself. You fumbled the ball and can’t be mad that she’s keeping her options opened.
Drunk man's words is a sober man's thoughts.
My ex used to play hockey. I remember driving him home for the first time from a game and smelling his goalie pads ?
It’s people who wants to fuck Judy Hopps from Zootopia
Each person in the relationship should get things out of it. What do you get out of this? It may not feel like it now, but you will be MUCH HAPPIER single. It is cruel to treat your partner the way she is treating you. If she loved you she would put in the time and put in the effort. It is as simple as that.
I'll repeat myself, when you love someone you put in the effort.
Dorner was in CA, around 2013. My school went into lock down because he was spotted at a gas station across the street while on the run
The problem with stuff like this is that we're only getting one side of the story. OP has posted what the question was but we don't get tone through text. You can 100% ask that question with an accusatory tone behind it. It's a tactic that's pretty common, do everything to suggest your partner is cheating without actually saying those words so when they get upset you can deny it then blame their anger as evidence of cheating.
But let's look at the situation. You REALLY think your husband is cheating on you with this girl while there are 3 other people in the house??? Sure mom can't do stairs but is she deaf? Plus kids running around getting ready for school, plus Dad getting ready for work….this is not an environment conducive to creating “sexy time” lol.
Something tells me this isn't the first time something like this has come up. Your husband said he didn't mention working out together because you'd feel “left out”, so has there been previous situations where you've been upset blaming him for not including you, ignoring you etc. Basically do you have a history of acting jealous around him?
I've seen a lot of suggestions about a Nanny Cam, unless you discuss it with your husband first that's a time bomb waiting to go off as that would essentially be spying on him, proving you think he's a cheater. If you don't then you'd discuss it with him first.
Also have you bothered to ask the woman in question? Ask her if she was in there? That would be a logical step and if you're not doing it, for whatever reason, it just adds to the look that you're trying to catch him cheating.
Then the only thing that's not clear here is whether you have joined her for those sessions. You keep talking about her going to therapy but all her issues stem from you (and her mother, possibly), and what sounds like a rough childhood.
If you haven't gone to any therapy with her, you really need to.
I'm over 30 and use it with 5 other friends over the age of 35.
But you weren't put off when you realised she was 18?
“No” exists! He could’ve used it?
Nothing wrong with her being trans and if you don’t have an issue with it then it would be fine, but there is everything wrong with her lying about it for four months. I would end the relationship, she knowingly lied to you out of fear you may not accept her if you knew the truth. That’s manipulation, she took the choice away from you until you already had an emotional connection.
I have a couple friends I can meet up with I guess just nothing like her that I can see all time
So you did a tactical break up so she'd come being back, and she hasn't, and you're butthurt? Cos this what it sounds like…
Her friends are her friends and you didn't even like them ( or her, from the sounds of it).
Move on. You're just stewing because she called your bluff, accepted your break up, cut ties, and isn't pining after you.
I've called animal protection before for a separate case and was told as long as it has food and water and doesn't show obvious signs of abuse there's not much they can do, I'm worried I don't have enough to give them yet
He needs therapy.
I mean there are many exes I'd still be with except what ever we broke up over. That makes sense. I don't think I'd ever say it, but duh.
However years later still being her up? He has issues.
He needs therapy.
I mean there are many exes I'd still be with except what ever we broke up over. That makes sense. I don't think I'd ever say it, but duh.
However years later still being her up? He has issues.
If it’s not against the law nothing to do. If it is turn him in. I would look at it quite closely though and make sure.
You need new friends. These guys suck.
A part of me really wants to wait until I come back from my trip to see if he is acting differently towards me. But the thought of being away for 2 weeks wondering what he’s doing would drive me crazy I think. But seeing him admit he fucked up would be gold, I’m not going to lie. But I’m tempted to also play the long con because I hate confronting people and being proved wrong hah.
Yes there are.
This is a good update 🙂
Have a great day, OP, and good mental health
he has tons of positive experiences… it doesn’t seem like he does.
You can support your sister’s transition without giving away a family heirloom that was gifted to you. You were the oldest daughter at the time you received the ring, and your sister’s transition doesn’t change that.
Whenever she mentions the ring, I think you just need to stand firm that you support and love your sister, but at the time, you were the oldest daughter and the ring was gifted to you. Gifts aren’t meant to be taken away because somebody else is more “deserving” of the gift.
Who doesn't? They are gold!
Your parents are your parents. They made you who you are. Your fiance loves you for who you are. Remember that. There is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Be proud of yourself, because by feeling ashamed of your parents what you are really saying is that you don't feel good enough for your fiance and his family. You absolutely are good enough. Don't ever doubt that. Money does not make a person worthy.
To the wedding. You are a couple. You aren't merely preparing for a wedding. You are preparing for a marriage. As such, you must start thinking and acting like a married couple. That means that you work through things together. If you cannot afford a big wedding, you have to discuss it with your partner and come up with a budget and financial plan. Together.
We were planning to get married on Halloween because it's my favourite Holiday and we had already started planning for it, but this fight just shook me to my core.
I don't really have a place to go at the moment, so I am just really clueless about what to do.
I'm guessing you're reading this right, meaning yes, your gf's statement was toxic. There's a bigger problem, though, and it's her relationship with her mother. She basically threw you under the bus in her rush to put mommy first. Is this how you want your marriage to run? I hope not. Don't be one of those people who think this stuff gets better with marriage. It gets worse because the stakes get higher.
My only other reaction has to do with the actual purchase. When you say “I am buying….” I assume this means you are the sole owner listed on the mortgage and sales contract? Leave it that way.
Honestly, none of this sounds healthy, but if you're determined to keep seeing her and possibly marrying her, make sure you know the community property laws in your state. In fact, another thing I'll toss out is it's hardly mandatory that she online there with you. I know that sounds crazy after 4 years, but she was only 19 when this began.
Speaking from experience, no. I'm living it. He won't change.