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Room for on-line sex video chat 1_kendall_1
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Languages: en
Birth Date: 2000-08-26
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: October 7, 2022
Hey OP. I hope that even if he begrudging agrees to marry you, you should leave anyway. It seems like he’s treating you like an incubator. You’re smart to want to make it legal but if this guy isn’t saying hell yes to providing safety and security to you and your baby then get out of there.
The age gap is really concerning. I’m 33 and I would NEVER date a 23 year old. The life experience is too different. You can’t have a lot in common. When I was a younger woman, around your age when you two met…the only older guys who were attracted to me were the ones who wanted to control me or manipulate me.
I hope you run away! And also you’re a bad ass for putting your foot down. Not a lot of 20 year olds would be that brave.
Nothing you can do will change her mind.
Don't dwell on it and waste time moving on to someone that actually cares about you.
Because OP is choosing to use her instead of what he knows he should do. That is why. She didn’t have sex with him without his consent.
Lane Bryant
Thank you. I didn't feel like you were debating me, I'm just trying to challenge things for anyone on my “side” so I'm not just in an echo chamber, you know?
I think a lot of things you say ring true, I just love him (derp) so it's a painful extrication, and I also have a lot of self-doubt cos I know I'm not perfect and am unsure if, as he often says, I have standards that are unreasonably high or unattainable.
I really really appreciate all your words and I'll be re-reading comments in this thread and mulling them over over the next few days. I don't want to make any rash decisions, but I also want to try to be objective, too.
There is no answer to that, you draw it when you finally decide to draw it.
I’ve never been able to get over this girl.
You've never actually given yourself a chance to. You're acting like an addict who still believes that they can get high on “special occasions” without fucking up their recovery.
Don't wish her a happy birthday, don't check on her, write off as gone forever any belongings at her place and put anything of hers in the mail.
Treat this like an addiction, read some 12 step literature, see a therapist, start making some kind of art.
You don't even have to acknowledge that she's toxic but you DO have to understand that 2 people can both be awesome but not awesome together. Strawberries are wonderful. Clam chowder is heavenly. Putting strawberries in clam chowder doesn't work.
I have an ex who is, objectively, a fantastic guy- smart, funny, achingly handsome , incredible in bed, competent….and I certainly don't suck…we had outrageous chemistry, amazing, the shit that they wrote poems about in Ancient Greece….and we brought out the absolute worst in each other. Neither of us is a bad person but we were a terrible combination. It sounds like that might be the case here.
So then I hope you understand where I’m coming from. It’s not like I’d ever believe that my girlfriend would ever hold it over me, but at the same time I don’t want her to be the one having to take care of me. I’ll gladly give her the food off my plate and the shirt off my back but I can’t accept it the other way around. It doesn’t sit right with me personally
I think she's saying that 3 months ago she would have referred to her child as a baby, but now 3 months later that term is somehow irrelevant because the child is two? ?
Plus reading that, he literally feels neglected and like SHE doesn’t have time for him. Ofc when she asked for her to be open that hurt because he’s right, if she has the time to spread on two people, then why does he feel neglected as one person? Everyone kinda sucks in this situation
Aside from being toxic, immature, hypocritical, and afraid to discuss it in person?
I’ve thought about that honestly. If I go more into it you’ll just think I’m an idiot… My boyfriend is a decent guy and I guess that’s all I expect out of him right now because that’s all I get. If I dump him he’ll be homeless and jobless and a whole bunch of other things. If I mention breaking up he threatens to kill himself.. ect. I’ve gotten myself into a shitty situation that is like a roller coaster because it keeps getting better and I think oh this is fine and we stay together and then it gets worse again. I don’t know dude.
Mine are like socks filled with wet sand and they make me feel very unsexy
She goes along with it, and because she is a woman, she will attract 50x the attention he does, and she will meet someone who values her way more than her husband does and sail off into the sunset with new bae – A very common result when a pressuring, cheating-hungry husband maniplates an open marriage on an unwilling wife.
I hope OP sees this.
Dump this guy. Find yourself a loving partner who will actually love and appreciate your blowjobs. The good news? There are plenty of candidates in this category.
So now you are blaming her? Not a cute look, my man.
Lol may I pull one more nugget of wisdom from you?
Yesterday, while I was doing his hair (we're both on our loc journeys!), I told him that I added another question to the doc. The question is, “How can I calm your down when you're frustrated? Do you find yourself frustrated with me more often than happy with me?”
My intention was to see if there are any tangible/actionable things I can do to comfort him in moments of frustration. He recently got into trading and between, that and his job and his annoying gf, I know he's been stressing lately lol.
He read the question and told me that it was impossible to answer and that nobody could answer that. So, being the confrontational person I am lol, I ran an experiment. I called my mom (60F married 37 years) and my friend (31F never been in a relationship) and asked them both the questions with no background or context. Both were able to answer both question almost immediately and completely. I asked if he thought their responses were good and he agreed they were. I didn't think the questions were that difficult and definitely not impossible.
Then, he said that our relationship feels like work. Like, we have meetings or I do check ins (or now a shared collaborative document). I told him that that's how I grew up (we had family dinner every night and did check-ins or family meetings). He said no, nobody does that. So again, called my friend, no context, and asked if she ever had family meetings growing up. She said she did, usually about distribution of chores or to address reoccurring behaviors. My bf also grew up in a nuclear family but I guess they just sat around the dinner table in silence… He NEVER checks in with me about our relationship or how he's showing up or if there's anything he can work on. I do pretty often.
Anyways… I want to find ways to communicate with him that doesn't feel like “work” but if talking feels like work and writing feels like work… I'm kind of out of ideas and I hate feeling like a nag. From what I understand… He just wants to exist and that should be enough. Again… Not joking. He has this attitude like… You should know I love you because I'm here and the relationship should be “organic” (meaning we just exist in each others space as our full selves and it should be easy aka not work).
It might be obvious, but he's had very few romantic relationships (at least imo). It's really draining always finding ways reach him and constantly hitting this brick wall. We've been talking about him moving in this summer but I have concerns if our communication doesn't improve soon.
I spent 4 days in Las Vegas with my friends, my Husband was at home cheering me on, taking care of our kids. Find a better boyfriend!! Seriously. There’s nothing to fix except adding X to boyfriend.
‘Sexy garden gnome’ ! You really put him in his place OP. Good luck on digging yourself out of that one. ❤️
When I was engaged, I tried to break off the engagement several times and each time ended up in this situation. I didn’t see it as the red flag it was. I know better now. That was a short and disastrous marriage that piled on to my pre-existing trauma, the divorce also being traumatic, and fortunately all that is far in the rear view.
He is also alive and well in another state.
And I have the benefit of years of therapy and Reddit teaching me more about healthy relationships now.
Yes, I was thinking that as well. If she is collapsing multiple times during the day, she can’t be trusted with infant care.
There seems to be some kind of narrative that OP is “making” her faint because she is stressing her out. That is not the case. Baby care is stressful. Being in a house with young children and a mixed aged family is stressful. This is not the right environment for an ailing woman who is losing her mind and body functioning.