The sad part about this situation is you still believe this man will reciprocate your efforts in building a “healthy relationship” and still believe his excuses all the while not showing any signs of treating you as an equal partner but instead using blackmail to cement his control legally.If your going to stay in that relationship i suggest you start accumulating what he has independently(get a job and your bank account)it will cut some of the control he has over you.
I don’t think it’s really fair to say non-avian and maybe even I just want chill partners and nothing more. Some of the things you listed just seem a bit too much in your original post. Do you want a guy who sends you reels from Instagram (maybe he doesn’t even like Instagram or isn’t on it as much as you are) or a guy who will put in the effort to love you in a way in which you want to be loved? He can only do the latter if you talk to him. I know, that doesn’t sound romantic at first. But once he knows and he’s willing to put in the effort, he can show you he cares in the ways you want. This goes for anyone you choose to date not just him if things don’t work out.
As for the baking thing, he used to bake for you and doesn’t anymore. Did he like baking before or after you started dating? There’s two possibilities. Given the your ages, you started dating him when he was seventeen. It’s quite possible he doesn’t have as much time because of life stage differences. Another reason could be that he won you and doesn’t feel as inclined to win you over anymore. That isn’t the end of the world it just happens sometimes. With communication you can get back on track but only if he’s willing to put in the effort or compromises are made. Like maybe he will bake for special occasions only or when you ask and he is able to. Have you tried asking him to bake for you again? Did you tell him how much that means to you and that you’d like to be surprised with that once in a while? “I really miss the cookies you used to bake me.. can you make me some again? It really makes me happy when you bake for me” some people need it spelled out. It doesn’t make them bad people.
Have you told him you want to hold hands? Not everyone likes doing that (and it’s more than okay you want that) but maybe he will put in the effort to do that for you. And same for going places, have you asked about it? Did you do those things before? What you’re wanting is basic stuff here in your comment (holding hands, go places) and coupled this with observations Avian mentioned of not being able to make small talk, i just wonder, what do your days typically look like and what do you talk about? Either way I think if you care about him and see a future with him, I think you need to communicate what you want from him.
But don’t stay with him because you don’t know if you can find better. You’re young you can and will find someone else more suited for you in time. It also isn’t fair to him to just keep him around because you’re afraid of the unknown.
Lmao I’m sorry. Your history as a SVU fan definitely trumps my history as a survivor. We’re clearly on opposing sides here, which is fine. Have a nice day.
This is correct. Domestic violence in front of children is child abuse.
The sad part about this situation is you still believe this man will reciprocate your efforts in building a “healthy relationship” and still believe his excuses all the while not showing any signs of treating you as an equal partner but instead using blackmail to cement his control legally.If your going to stay in that relationship i suggest you start accumulating what he has independently(get a job and your bank account)it will cut some of the control he has over you.
I don’t think it’s really fair to say non-avian and maybe even I just want chill partners and nothing more. Some of the things you listed just seem a bit too much in your original post. Do you want a guy who sends you reels from Instagram (maybe he doesn’t even like Instagram or isn’t on it as much as you are) or a guy who will put in the effort to love you in a way in which you want to be loved? He can only do the latter if you talk to him. I know, that doesn’t sound romantic at first. But once he knows and he’s willing to put in the effort, he can show you he cares in the ways you want. This goes for anyone you choose to date not just him if things don’t work out.
As for the baking thing, he used to bake for you and doesn’t anymore. Did he like baking before or after you started dating? There’s two possibilities. Given the your ages, you started dating him when he was seventeen. It’s quite possible he doesn’t have as much time because of life stage differences. Another reason could be that he won you and doesn’t feel as inclined to win you over anymore. That isn’t the end of the world it just happens sometimes. With communication you can get back on track but only if he’s willing to put in the effort or compromises are made. Like maybe he will bake for special occasions only or when you ask and he is able to. Have you tried asking him to bake for you again? Did you tell him how much that means to you and that you’d like to be surprised with that once in a while? “I really miss the cookies you used to bake me.. can you make me some again? It really makes me happy when you bake for me” some people need it spelled out. It doesn’t make them bad people.
Have you told him you want to hold hands? Not everyone likes doing that (and it’s more than okay you want that) but maybe he will put in the effort to do that for you. And same for going places, have you asked about it? Did you do those things before? What you’re wanting is basic stuff here in your comment (holding hands, go places) and coupled this with observations Avian mentioned of not being able to make small talk, i just wonder, what do your days typically look like and what do you talk about? Either way I think if you care about him and see a future with him, I think you need to communicate what you want from him.
But don’t stay with him because you don’t know if you can find better. You’re young you can and will find someone else more suited for you in time. It also isn’t fair to him to just keep him around because you’re afraid of the unknown.
Why do you sound like you've moved in together after only dating a few months
Lmao I’m sorry. Your history as a SVU fan definitely trumps my history as a survivor. We’re clearly on opposing sides here, which is fine. Have a nice day.
Us wacky Redditors, thinking being bigoted is bad. Silly us.
Wow, such good advice, I hope you didn't strain your fingers typing out that novella.