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Ayana, 18 y.o.
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Date: October 20, 2022
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Let him leave. He'll cheat on her too, or she will him. They're both broken and sick. Get a divorce and take him for everything. Why doesn't he just divorce you if he wants her so badly?
She cheated, got pregnant and YOUR life is ruined? Don't think so, she can be a proud single mother living on her baby daddy alimony while you move on to someone that doesn't disrespect you.
As a son with a toxic as fuck mother like yours you need to end this bullshit now and kick your toxic momma out of your life till she gets her shit in order and realizes wives (and life partners) will and should always go before parents (including moms that’s are toxic as fuck) and respect your new family. A long time in your doghouse should do the trick. If any of her flying monkeys get involved they can join her.
Now is the time to step up as a husband and a partner and do your job and protect your home and family (especially from a shitty and toxic family). You can do this and I suggest you cross-post this on r/estrangedadultchildren or a similar sub for better and personalized advice.
Good luck.
She's a mess. How can you forgive her after she cheated on you? And the lies, it surely will make you see who she really is. Doesn't respect you nor the relationship, dump her and be better to yourself, you deserve it.
1, u cant be fired for something like that. Not sure what makes u think u can
2, ive spent my life building my career, i had to build my boots before i could pull myself up by boot straps. I had very little social life through out my 20s.
3, what was i expecting? I dunno maybe a little compasion in the reponces related to its a bad idea. U think i dont no its a fkin bad idea?
4, i work with lots of women, we all get along and they like me, im not one of creeps (we have alot), in my entire professional career ive never once had the intention of asking out a girl at work for the reasons everyone is giving me. This is the one time. Probably the only ever time.
Geez, that sounds really tiring. What your husband is doing is setting himself up as the standard for behavior. He will not recognize the value in anything that you do better than he does. So if you are kinder, more intuitive, better at cooking, banking, remembering to care for the dog, or getting a lot done in a crisis, he'll never recognize it. In fact, he has shown that he is not as good at being supportive and non-judgmental as you are but does not recognize or value those qualities. Unless he can change his thinking, you will only either match his expectations or fail. You need to be confident in what you do well and you need to hold him accountable for being kind, good, patient, grateful, contented, and loving. At the end of the day, ask him which of those things he has made headway on. Describe what kind of relationship you want. Do not allow him to define all success as what he does already.
Girl, these replies are desperate for attention and immature AF.
You want an actually productive therapy session? Show your therapist this post. In fact, send it to them in advance of your appointment so they can read it (and the comments and most importantly your replies) ahead of your appointment.
But then he wouldn’t have anyone to take care of him!!! /s
Why do you people tell each other this kind of stuff? Like holy shit how could she possibly have thought telling you that was a good idea.
Thank you so much. I agree with everything you said – think the starting point is some therapy ??
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We’ve been together almost a year and a half, and throughout that time my boyfriend has almost always offered to pick me up when I go out drinking without him and he’s at home chilling.
I come from a family where lifts were few and far between and my parents never went out of their way to drop or pick me up from places, I had to learn to get to places and back by myself. I’ve always been super independent in this way.
My boyfriend says he offers because he wants to save me money and he’s not doing anything so why not?! But my independence sometimes feels compromised because I don’t want him to think I can’t get back on my own and have to rely on him, I also worry that it’s a controlling behaviour from him to make sure I’m not going home with anyone. Which of course I wouldn’t. He’s never controlling with the timings, if I wanted to stay out till 2am he wouldn’t be annoyed or make comments so maybe he is just being helpful?
Does anyone relate? TL:dr: boyfriend always offers to pick me up from a night out, and sometimes it gets my back up
The way I rolled my eyes when he said “we need to fix this because I feel like less of a man.”
Why yes, please show your concern for her wellbeing, and not just your frustration at how frequently you get your dick wet.
You asked why he would move in with you and why he keeps lying. I would bet that you don’t online the roommates would, like separate laundry that you each do yourselves, doing your own dishes, only cleaning up after yourself, etc. so he gets to come home to a typical girlfriend to help take care of the household AND go fuck whoever he wants. It’s a convenient lifestyle for him. Of course he doesn’t want to lose his at home girlfriend who helps with real life responsibilities.
Him saying that he’s just “too nice” and that’s why he keeps cheating is literally the dumbest thing I’ve heard. It would imply that women are just begging for his attention and asking him to fuck, and he just can’t bring himself to say no, so he “does them a favor.” It’s also a way for him to not take responsibility and make himself seem like a victim.
You need to figure out another place to live, make arrangements and break up with him. Leave a note while he’s gone and take all your belongings if you want to avoid face to face confrontation.
I was originally going to say 7 grown-ass men… but… dwarves.
Doesn’t matter. Boyfriends don’t get to move in and live! for free, especially while making the girl miserable, her life more difficult, and complaining about her.
Also I didn’t say anything about asking him for shower sex that was someone else.
I did ask, and the answer was for religious reasons. She says that it doesn’t matter if you have had sex before, what matters is that’s it’s a sin to continue to do it