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Nova, y.o.
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Date: October 20, 2022
wtf do you want from each other
You have known her that long, how much time did your sister and her husband spend with you and her pre 2020? I don’t know too many married couples spending a lot of time outside of popping with their little siblings and their friends. It’s usually holidays with just the family, then leave.
This isn’t to say either is in the right, or that you did something wrong (you didn’t). Your friend wanted validation (a married man would do that) and your BIL couldn’t keep it in his pants. Hers is a little more tragic, but she 100% knew what the deal was, as did he.
He groomed her all along. The age difference is sickening.
I think they can be interchangeable depending on context, but generally I’ll interpret “I’m seeing someone” as “I am going on dates with this person and it’s serious enough where I don’t want to pursue anything else” and “I have a girlfriend” to mean “I am in a mutually committed relationship with someone”
If you don't understand all these negative comments, you are being intentionally obtuse.
As an outsider, it appears that you seek marriage and children and he does not. I think if you keep waiting for him to come around, you will be disappointed.
I suspect that he tells you whatever he thinks will keep you around while, at the same time, not actually making a meaningful commitment.
I mean maybe she was lying, but maybe not. Regardless, the sending of locations via social media is a little controlling / cringey. Trust is key if you want a healthy relationship.
That might be her last ditch effort to get you to stop asking her to duet. If she is good enough to be performing in shows then maybe the actual skill level musically between you is genuinely wide. Just being in a band doesn't mean too much when it comes to musicality. I'm a long time musician and absolutely hate playing with people that haven't put a huge amount of concentration into honing their craft. It's like watching someone destroy the thing you love most while thinking they are rocking it. What she said was definitely insensitive but I have had to tell some of my learning friends the same thing when they want to actually create a thing together. I know it sounds bad but it actually drains my soul. I will offer technical help and advice to help them learn things like intonation, dynamics, progression, and improvisation. I'll even play simple progressions to aid in their learning. Music isn't really just a fun thing to do together for me so I get where she was coming from. That said maybe practice up a song and make it perfect. Are you wanting her to sing over your playing or are you trying to sing together?