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Make me moan loud!
Date: September 27, 2022
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I'm less concerned with the age gap and more concerned that you're starting a relationship so soon into your recovery. I don't know how long you've been sober, but the fact that you met at a facility makes me think it hasn't been long.
If you were in a treatment center together, you both know how much NA/AA stresses not starting a romantic relationship during the first year of sobriety. I get that this relationship seems amazing and new and exciting, and better than anything you've experienced, but right now, you should be focusing on you and your healing. Dating will shift the focus and inevitably cause stress and tension as you both try to figure out who you are sober and confront your traumas, and will unearth old patterns that could lead to relapse for both of you.
Source: I'm an LMHC who has worked with people who have histories of substance use.
Okay so what makes you feel guilty looking at porn when you have looked at it in the past?
She may not have been too excited with the party hookup and was glad to not have you turn into a clinger. Best to go forward giving her space. I doubt she’s grieving over not being in a relationship with you.
OP has met a Kevin and the sunglasses were a male design. I don't think it's a “she”.
Got three kids under 10 at some point we had to plan for sex… Romantic is what you make of it not the setup.
Ohhh shit…is there anything I can replace it with? That can help with the weight gain please
So I can pee on people on the bus because it's my normal human body functioning the way it's supposed to? Can I…not wear a pad when I'm on my period because it's just normal body things? Does that mean no one has to wear deodorant anymore? Just because it's natural for our bodies to do a gross thing doesn't mean it's less gross. The fact you seem to be claiming that farts don't smell like shit unless you checks notes put your nose in someone's ass is a naked take for sure
Marriage counseling before divorce. At least try for the kids.
But agree that he is a dumbass.he just wants your permission to cheat. Disgusting. I'm very sure if you participate and found someone much better, he will be whining very hot.
Please don't try to act as if you'd be reaching out to his new gf out of the goodness of your heart. You are jealous and just want to be petty because he moved on so quickly. Keep out of it.
If you have to sacrifice your needs-how amazing are they?
LDRs suck, man. I don't know why you two thought you could make it work when it doesn't for so many others.
The other way to look at this is, you got together when you were pretty young, and it was beyond optimistic to assume it could last forever. People do grow apart.
It might sound like I'm not sympathetic, but hopefully a different perspective will do you some good.
Even if you can get past this, my biggest concern is putting money, love, irreplaceable years of your life, and put in the hard work and effort to rebuild trust into this relationship possibly create a child with her only to find out it has happened again. It wasn’t a lonely drunken whirlwind accident this was a long-standing affair at the beginning of your marriage that she was able to stomach both betraying you and lying to you repeatedly during the entire experience- three years have passed and she is still keeping him in the whims but using non cheating conversation as a less risky and obvious placeholder to keep tabs on him and keep her in his mind. I recommend quietly talking to a lawyer just to be aware of your rights and what you might be facing. Don’t tell her your plans to an honest person sometimes self preservation feels selfish and dishonest. She doesn’t play by the same rules as you in love and will be ten times worse as an adversary.
Begging you not to even risk having a baby with her with the possibility of you being forced to trust that she will protect and prioritize your child without you presence 50% of that child’s life- but always afraid for them, knowing she is a comfortable liar.
(this can happen in a well meaning attempt by either to save the marriage or even a plot to anchor you if/when you decide to leave her)
It’s a scary helpless feeling and a life an innocent baby human doesn’t deserve nor do you
Please do go to therapy but your own private therapist no matter which path you choose
You didn’t deserve to be treated that way!
I have no idea what it would look like in 10 years. I just know I don't want to end up like my parents, and she's in the same boat.
idk why you think traveling the world is some third life crisis. many people do it, and the few traveling I've done have been some of my best memories.
See a therapist.
Because otherwise I'd be inclined to say you don't actually love her. You online together, you've adopted pets together but the idea of marriage gives you anxiety ever though you admitted your relationship is great?
I don't call people broken, but something there certainly makes no sense. Either you don't actually love her or it's something else. Get a therapist
the fuck is wrong with your SO
Woah you need to relax. It’s a chill weekend away, not a 6 month excursion. You are all adults who can figure out what they need for 2 days. Doesn’t seem like your bf wants some elaborate thing you have in your head, he just wants to sit around a campfire with some friends.