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Date: October 23, 2022
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okay folks I'm going to call it as it is, downvote me all you want. Vasectomy vs going through an unwanted pregnancy (because lets face it all other options is dependent on the woman and what her body goes through), birth control (life time commitment) usually hormonal base, condoms still not 100%. So there is no reassuring way to have 100% safe sex unless it is a Vasectomy or tubal removal. Tubal – big procedure 4 weeks recovery vs vasectomy where you ice your balls for the weekend (doctor literally said I could have sex on Monday). The women already goes through 9 months of body changing and then 6 weeks or more post recovery to build the family, she is doing it twice potentially a third time. BRAH your husband can take one for the team, if you are 100% sure not having anymore kids, you would think you both would want to have 100% safe sex, don't make it stressful or anxiety filled just to have a sex life, cause if any of the contraceptives' fails it's the wife's body that has to go through the consequences with another pregnancy or an abortion. Just to stay celibate just points out that your husband does not want to take any responsibility in creating safe sex and putting all the onus on you to take on the responsibility if you want to have any sex, – cause who give a F when its not your body pushing out the a football, going through the fake hormones, getting a foreign object inserted in your hooha, making sure the pencil is wrapped, or forcing you to go through the more intensive and costly procedure so you feel 100% secure. Do you want to be in a sexless marriage? certainly something you should decide on now. I'd suggest you both talk to a doctor to get pros and cons to help put in perspective on your options. so you both can make inform decisions, cause right now sounds like a stand off and its going no where. Who is willing to make the sacrifice because this is where it's really going to come down to for you to have a sex life.
nah
No
Unless you are showing symptoms, I would recommend a 2nd test at a different lab to be sure. There have been several on this forum who had this happen and it would up being a false positive.
But if it is confirmed positive, you said you refuse to end this relationship even though bf used unprotected sex with women. What are you waiting for? An HIV + test before it dawns on you he did you dirty and should leave him for health's sake?
i don’t want to think that, it’s just whenever we’re away that it’s like this. When we’re in person we can’t keep off eachother and are talking the entire time.
Man you need to get a lawyer and take custody away from her. This is life long damage she is doing to your son and you need to protect him. Divorce happens, normal people are hurt by them, but what she is doing is edging into the realm of abuse.
You either get abortion or let the guy and his family have the full custody instead of having the baby adopted by strangers. That is if you really don't want the child and can't take responsibility. I'm not even judging you for not wanting to continue the pregnancy nor having relationships with this guy you barely know and don't love. What you're feeling is valid. Despite the pressure that family members or other people might give. You don't necessarily need to marry him just because he got you pregnant. Marriage is not the solution to this dilemma. Marriage could actually even make it worst. You also have an option of co-parenting but then, the burden is usually on the mom. Usually (especially) on the cases of teen parents, the girl need to stop schooling for a meantime to care for the child while the Dad can still have the freedom to do what he wants. Usually woman are the ones making the huge adjustment. And obviously you can't and don't want that for yourself. So better consider the first two options. Abortion or giving full custody to the guy and his parents considering they're the most excited to have the child.
This is exactly why my wife and I don’t buy each other gifts. We just exchange cards.
It could work out. I have 32 tattoos my husband doesn’t have any. Our daughter has 15 tattoos. My daughter and I have matching tattoos. Do what you want. Life is to short.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My boyfriend had a motorcycle race last week and I went with him. He has an eleven month old daughter and her mother isn’t around anymore. I was holding her while watching the race, and pointed and told her where he was. She started calling me “mama.” I know she can say a few words and calls him “daddy.” I thought it was very cute but I didn’t know what to do. I told my boyfriend later and he was very embarrassed.
We spent Christmas together and his daughter kept calling me mama. Every time he tried to correct her she would just giggle. Later that night I heard him giving her a bath. She asked “where mama” and he said in his room, which is where I was. I thought it was odd he went from correcting her in front of me to referring to me as mama when I wasn’t around.
I don’t want to accuse him of telling her to say that, but I want to ask him about it without being confrontational. I’m just afraid it’s naked to bring up without sounding like I’m making an accusation.
Age gap, we meet again.
Yeah what happened what’s issues are you talking about
He has worked out, logically, that staying is better than going. You kept your marriage.
You lost his trust, and you betrayed him. You hurt him, deeply. His insecurities will be through the fucking roof. What did he do wrong in sex to make you stray? What did he do wrong? How can he trust you again? Do you deserve that trust?
The betrayal, the hurt, the anger, the self doubt, the fear, they will still be there.
You kept your marriage, but you need to earn his trust and passion and love back.
You can't be cheating on people and expecting things to be okay. Maybe ever? The reasons you did it are your own, and I'm not judging you.
You need to individually address all of the problems that your relationship has. You need to put that work in. But it takes a lot of work off both of you to get to where you want to be. He might not be willing to put that work in with you, and that will leave you with the option of living in the hell or leaving and losing it.
Sexually will be hot to fix, but it's a good place to start. Show him he's enough for you, show him he's your choice. Encourage him to explore with you.
There's some other options to explore that won't work for everyone but does work for some people. From Couples therapy to Swinging, there are thousands of ways that people try to make their relationships better.
Just because I have friends whether older or younger than me doesn't mean I don't have friends my own age
What he’s done is called love bombing. He bought you fancy and shiny things. Then pulled the rug out from under you. This is someone you run from! I dated someone like this and it ended badly. Like think $5,000 in therapy bills badly.
I love this, it’s so petty. ? I’m imagining like a flock of seagulls haircut.
Anyways onto the actual advice – if a temporary haircut is causing that much of a drop in your attraction to him, you’re probably not that attracted to him. When you are super attracted to a person then the haircut shouldn’t be enough to deter you because other stuff like touch, personality etc should over ride it.
You should never be embarrassed by how other people look with you. Second hand embarrassment like this is a deep seeded insecurity thing, and you should probably work on this individually.
Also, stop lying to him. Tell him you hate it. Lying only puts you in a weird spot with your insecurities, which will hurt the relationship further. 🙂
Sounds like the child needs to be better trained too.
Good advice here overall I have a question though that I think should be addressed
When that other guy swooped in on her did that happen right in front of you? Did the other guy know that you and her were at least together and yet still made a move on her? If that’s the case I think another discussion should be shifted onto why you didn’t defend your territory in a way. Look, I’m a total pacifist and avoid confrontation at all costs but if something like that happened to me I think my natural inclination would be to at least step in the instant the other guy put his arms on her and signal to the other guy sternly that “she’s with me”. Just something to think about in more of an introspective self evaluation way
Your bf wants to hurt you by depriving you of a beloved pet and hurt your dog by separating her from her home and family. That is superbly unfair. Also, his grief over his dog is not more important than your own grief over the dog you lost to cancer. He is being vindictive, petty, and cruel. If this is how he chooses to use his influence over you before you online together I hope you never move in with him. He is cruel and that will be inflicted on you.
Well she’s in pain bc of something he said. So it’s not all equal here.
Oh, look- 7 hours, and almost 6000 people already agree with you.
Honestly, this just seems like he’s trying to care for you and find ways to help you feel good. Unless there’s a history of abuse, I wouldn’t read too much into things
The edit?!? Are you JOKING??? what a bitch. Honestly. You’re 27.. a grown woman acting like a teenager.
You dodged a bullet