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Anna, 26 y.o.
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Date: October 23, 2022
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No trauma justifies the cruelty. I don’t have sympathy for your husband. And as a woman long married with children you can’t afford to be playing the ingenue. I think you know very well what’s going on here.
I already told my husband that when I go into labor my first priority will be my baby, second mine. And I talked to him to not “immediately” let all the people know when the baby comes but to just keep quite for a bit and let us welcome that little human being 🙂
Dude you barely know this woman and you have put her on such a high pedestal she can’t even see you down there. It seems like you’re not even interested in getting to know her, you just LOVE the version of her that you’ve invented. She probably feels a weird mixture of insulted and overwhelmed.
Slow the fuck down, go to therapy, get a hobby.
There have been numerous posts in this vein lately. Usually written from a male perspective. Like the one where a poster purported to be the stepdad to a teenage stepdaughter. Her boyfriend was being aggressive or something, can't remember all the details, and the OP dragged him out of the car and claimed to have landed several blows to him that ended up with him landing on his head on the ground and being knocked out cold, wherein the OP then, if I remember correctly, claimed to have dragged him back into the house after he defecated in his pants.
Or the one where a guy posted that two men broke into his flat where he lived with his girlfriend, one guy ran at the sight of him, and the other was trapped, and OP ran at him, grabbed him, hit him, and threw him around to the point OP apparently blacked out and came to with his girlfriend screaming and begging him to stop and the guy's face was a bloody mess.
Also one several months ago, or maybe last year, where I think a guy posted he got in an argument with his girlfriend's abusive brother and he beat the absolute crap out of the guy to the point he had to be hospitalized near death (not in self-defense) and he was being lauded as a hero by redditors. The girlfriend got ridiculed by commenters because she was upset at the boyfriend and turned off by the level of violence he displayed.
I'm sure some posts along this vein are real, but I'm skeptical of half the posts where a guy engages in extreme violence that totally surpasses the point of self-defense or protection, and is loudly and vocally applauded for it. A lot of these posts involve someone being a bloody mess on the ground with the guy just wailing on him and people begging him to stop. It usually happens in front of an audience and the guy goes into great detail about what exactly he did to the person involved, and others around them are clearly traumatized by the violence displayed but commenters think they're being selfish for their quite reasonable reactions.
I really don't understand the positive reactions to posts like this. This kind of extreme behavior shouldn't be glorified or normalized.
Are you from a country where, if you go alone, there's a real risk of them preventing you from coming back home??
There’s not much to discuss. If he is an addict, he belongs in therapy. If you care about him, you need to make him understand that he needs to see a therapist. It depends if you want to stay with him or not. I would give him an ultimatum to go to therapy and if he doesn’t, I’d be gone. Please don’t let your (mental) well being take a backseat.
I don’t think there is much to salvage in this situation anymore. It is really sad, but I’ll survive. I’m better off alone than constantly paranoid with a man who doesn’t respect me or himself
He threw a violent tantrum. I can understand him being in a strop about it, but surely he'd be happy about it because he doesn't like the way she folds his clothes. Now he's got a great opportunity to make sure his clothes are folded in a way that meets his standards.
In the future, it would be good to develop a sense of skepticism to root outweird shit like this. When you're dating someone and they have a 100% personality change, especially around religion, just end it. There's nothing noble about trying to accommodate his insanity.