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My first day here!
Date: October 24, 2022
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You should check his deleted folder or Google photos/cloud…
His friend is also significantly younger than us and naturally, at his age, he's immature. It's so annoying that my bf is doing this and no, he doesn't defend me. He'll even sometimes go along with the antagonizing. I've mentioned to him before when he does this that it's not okay and this isn't the first friend he's done this with. It feels disrespectful at this point.
Same with me. I consider myself a litttttle bit tech savvy when it comes to phones. I have an iPhone and I’ve had iPhones for years— same with an iPad and MacBook so I’m familiar with the operating system Apple uses. I’m pretty sure there is an option in your settings where you can set it to automatically delete text conversation threads after like a year or something like that. But it absolutely (in my experience) doesn’t just pick and choose at random what messages/gifs get deleted due to storage issues. So that statement he made right there is a lie because his phone isn’t going to just randomly delete certain messages but keep the actual text thread.
My phone has always informed me when I’m low on storage space and I get to just go through my stuff and decide what to delete.
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Nope and he should be.
I'm getting help for my own issues tomorrow, ironically. I've never been formally diagnosed but I went to therapy before and I was told i almost certainly have an anxiety disorder and likely depression.
I would be extra pissy if someone were trying to get me to go to a work dinner, but I don't this is the case here at all. He got agitated that he was caught and then called her and told her how to play along to “prove” nothing was going down, right in front of you. Deep down, you know this. Do not stay because it is only going to continue and you will always be told its your fault and you are being crazy.
You need to stay away from your coworker. The entire thing is so inappropriate that I truly cannot see any positives.
The relationship your in sounds like an unfortunate situation and on that alone I’d tell you that you likely need to leave.
However, whenever you start fostering an inappropriate relationship out side of the commuted one you are in, you pretty much lose my sympathy.
For the past year you’ve been putting your time and energy into another woman instead of either working on fixing your own relationship or exiting it all together. You are now the bad guy. You are in a pretty serious emotional affair at this point. You don’t really get kudos for not sleeping with her yet.
The red flags you give starting this relationship with a 22 year old, who was 21 when this started if it’s been a year, are bright and huge. Your her manager, so there’s a power dynamic here that’s inappropriate. You’re in your thirties and she’s barely not a teenager- inappropriate. You’ve been carrying on with her while being in a relationship that she also knows about – inappropriate. Do you see a pattern?
If you end it with your girlfriend and jump into this with this younger girl, you solidify your fate as being that guy. Everyone already suspects, but you’ll confirm that you were basically cheating on your girlfriend with this girl. You’ll never come back from it once the people at your job find out for sure. Say goodbye to any respect you get.
Definitely end it with your girlfriend because if you loved her and cared about her, you wouldn’t be entertaining the new girl. If she’s as bad as she says she is, you need to get out of there. But do not jump into anything with this other girl. Be single. Go to therapy. It’s not fair to her or yourself.
thats's what I was thinking about doing…
only thing, It has been about a week from when we kinda argued, and I had already spent quite a few messages telling her how I thought I was bothering her (giving she hadn't been reaching out for me) and how sorry I was since I really cared about her
I worry It might be a little too much texting her “Hey am I bothering you? do you want me to stop for a while?” just a week later
This is abusive. There's no excuse out there for this to be not abusive behaviour. Leave him. But be very very careful in planning your exit. He sounds like a very dangerous person who most probably will keep his word of killing you and/or himself. Involve legal force and also make sure to collect evidences of his abuse. I wholeheartedly hope you get out of there safe and sound and that you are given the love you deserve.
i don’t know where this idea that people can’t change comes from, but it’s not healthy. people can and do change over the course of their lives for the better and for the worse. you don’t have to be patient while waiting for the former or tolerant of the latter, though.
Of course he was keen, he got free accommodation, a maid, probably a chef, and sex! Check out what it will take to evict him
Well until he gets over his bigoted views of mental illness there's really nothing you can do.
That really sucks and I'm sorry.
I think you need to let him go.
A few months ago I broke off a five year relationship with a woman who loved me deeply. She cut me out of her life completely, blocked me, unfriended me on FB, nothing. I would have loved to have stayed friends but it was explained to me by another woman – two actually – that cutting me off was healthiest for her. I hated that we couldn't even stay in touch, but not nearly as much as I would have hated causing her any more pain. Be merciful to yourself and let him go.
I check his phone every now and then, which can range from once in a few months (i don't touch his phone for quite some time if I don't find anything) to once every few days if I were to suspect something (like in this case, where I find out he texts her, and even though it is a normal conversation, I wanted to see if there will be anything more, so I check it say, 2 days later, and it gets deleted)
Am I being too insecure? Or is he being suspicious?