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Mia, 20 y.o.
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Date: October 26, 2022
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Tell her how you feel. I just read a couple articles about this same sort of thing and if this is how the situation is, and she’s not pulling her weight, then either she shapes up or ships out. You gotta communicate first. Tell her what’s what in your heart.
And how far gone issue because two weeks is a very tight deadline for it to be somebody else’s. It’s possible was it just the once have you been trying for a baby because ultimately it’s down to you whether you stick around or not because it could be yours they also might not be yours. It depends how you look at it because if you break up with her and get with somebody else and they have kids is it not just the same thing yes she cheated on you and that is fucking wank. She needs to know that and understand that she needs to make you feel better and as if you can trust her but also you need to forgive her because nobody is perfect. Why did she cheat on you Christmas party alcohol fed up of trying for a kid stress is loads of things, but like I said it’s down to you you can racist kid as your own or you can raise it as it is your own small difference, but a massive impact doesn’t matter what colour you are or what colour the baby is at the end of the day that baby would give you unconditional love because it doesn’t know any different. It’s you who chooses whether to give it unconditional love the same way that that innocent child would give you if you get what I mean, sorry speech text so spelling might be a bit wank but I’ve been there done it seen it and it doesn’t matter what I picked and what I’m doing. What matters is I am happy and so are the children that I raise you are the manifestation of your own happiness. Either way you need to move forward because you can’t drive a car looking in a rearview mirror.
She's into him and manipulating the situation and she's manipulating him to the point where he will start seeing problems in the marriage when there aren't any, he will believe her. She's already said “couples counseling ” and divorce. She's already manipulating your marriage and will pit you two against each other and you will be the cause. She Will justify your actions with him and manipulate him enough to divorce you. She will get him to blame you and prove that she's right, he will fail for it and believe her. Also IMO, after the divorce she will no be longer be his therapist and they will start dating and she won't lose her license and you can't sue her. This has happened way too often and mind manipulation is the cause. Proceed with caution, sorry my opinion on what's going to happen.
I disagree with a lot of people here. Don't walk away just yet. The biggest pain felt after being cheated on, imo, is the regret. There is so much distress dealing with the confusion of your value, your intelligence, your abilities, etc. The last thing you want is to add to it by not doing what your base instinct/moral compass would lead you to. Make the decision you can live with. If walking away would not backfire, do it 100%. But if you're feeling like you need to see him to recovery, then do that. But 100% this relationship is over after that. He will not suddenly become indebted to you and revere you for sticking by his side. He won't suddenly appreciate you. He will continue to cheat on you. But none of that matters until you do what will allow you to online the rest of your life with your head held high. Don't try to get revenge, don't try to make a point. Do what you think is the right thing and then end it.
This is a wrong statement to make:
So he just said that ” well we can't be in the honey moon phase forever”.
A reletionship can feel just as exciting as day one if two people are committed in retaining that level of effort. In fact, you should always trying to keep things in the honey moon phase. Last thing you want to happen is for things to plateau and become dull, resulting in the spark to die (settling).
I think you two need to have a heart to heart. Obviously you need to compromise a bit by allowing him to spend time with his family without it becoming an issue, and he needs to ensure that you always feel like a priority in his life (not being tossed to the side).
If you two allow these little incidents to manifest, it will only generate larger issues and bigger fights.
If neither of you understand the other side and are willing to work with each-other, the reletionship may be running its course. Him putting you aside to spend time with family, might be the tip of the iceberg, you two may have bigger issues to discuss and this incident only revealed it.
i remember expressing those same boundaries to him (multiple times) and he didn’t care and continued to do whatever he wanted.. but whenever i did it i’m the “dumb b!tch”.
Asking him to un-follow women on social media was dumb and insecure, it sounds like you know that now. Now that he's doing the same dumb, insecure bullshit that you're doing and you push back on it (just like he did) he's decided to call you names, give you the silent treatment, and manipulate you into agree to lopsided boundaries.
Your BF is emotionally manipulative, verbally abusive and wants you to agree to boundaries that he won't hold himself to. He was up at 6am combing through the people you follow on social media so that he could find a reason to be mad at you. This guy sounds like human garbage, what do you even like about him?
I don’t know how to handle this situation
I think you do, you just don't want it to come to that.
Tell him you won't apologize when you haven't done anything wrong, break up with him, and tell him to gather your stuff together so you can come pick it up (ideally with a friend in tow).
The reason he's doing this is because he thinks he can threaten a breakup and get you to agree to anything he says. Call his bluff, take out the trash.
But he still didn’t tell you in the hope you could sort things out. You found it. He’s been hiding stuff from you.
But he still didn’t tell you in the hope you could sort things out. You found it. He’s been hiding stuff from you.
Yes.. at least back when I got it. It was total bullshit. Hopefully that has improved.
I think maybe you don't realize how traumatic it is to be assaulted by someone you love and trust, because it shows you they are unworthy of that trust and cannot prioritize your safety.