She’s not trying to get cash. Quite honestly, I mostly prefer my husband not buy me jewelry because he doesn’t truly understand what I like. It’s not being materialistic to ask someone to not spend money on something you won’t wear or use. It’s the opposite. If she had said “oh honey, you didn’t spend enough” or “oh this is silver, I prefer platinum’l it would have been materialistic. She didn’t ask for more. She appreciates the effort.
I’m gonna be honest I don’t need to read all of this. You’re waking on eggshells around him. One time my ex went on a vacation in Oregon for a month to day trade or something. He refused to tell me how much money he made. We broke up that night. He cheated on me the whole time. Men who like the lie are men who like to lie and men who like to keep secrets are men who like to keep secrets. If he’s gatekeeping the recipe to a simple drink imagine all the shit that he’s actually hiding
Now, regardless of whether u think it's “cool” to drive drunk or not, i was just trying to impress him
You were trying to impress him by giving him a story of driving drunk, but he didn’t think it’s not funny. So it back fired. Then you try to rationalize what you did and argue with him over it even though you even acknowledge it’s unsafe. So setting aside all the excuses you put out there, here’s the thing you need to remember. If you don’t show you feel bad for making a mistake in the past, no one’s going to believe you that you’ll make a better decision in the future. Who you going to believe is going to fix a mistake, someone who gives excuses for it, or someone who shows they feel bad?
You think that by opening up to her you'd be burdening her, but I'll bet anything she'll see it as a gift. Truly. Because then she feels she knows you a tiny bit better.
He needed a parent to pick him up bc his car is in the shop? Does he on-line with them (at 30?) does he not have Lyft, Uber, cash for a taxi, legs? At both of your ages I don’t even understand how//why a parent was involved at all.
Having said that, he was rude, disrespectful in his comments. He was rude and disrespectful on your date (and apparently has been many times before). He reacted violently and attempted to damage your property. Good for you, for standing up for yourself. He sounds like he could continue to act out, be sure to keep yourself safe. Good luck OP, sorry this happened.
This man has you so concerned with defending yourself that you're overlooking the fact that he is acting like a crazy person. You have fallen into the trap of trying to reason with the unreasonable. This will get worse. Please leave before you get hurt.
Buddy, you know what to do.It might be a little scary, especially after you've been with this person for so long, making such a huge change in your life, the conversation will be rough but at the end of the day, it all boils down to this.
You don't deserve that, nobody should go into an argument, no matter the magnitude, thinking “I better hold back so I don't get spat on” so kick that disgrace to the curb pronto!
Prenups are like insurance. You don’t want to have to use it, but it’s for everyone’s protection in case shit goes down.
If you don’t get a prenup then you allow the state to determine how to handle your divorce rather than the two of you determining it. All you’re doing by refusing to negotiate and sign a prenup is saying you’d rather leave your fate in the hands of the state than yourself if something happens.
I would give them to her when you meet up. Say originally they were meant to be for her birthday but now you want her to have them as a thank you for all the good times you have spent together. That’s my advice.
This sounds quite unhealthy and it would be better for both of you to take some time apart to consider your options. Suggest it and see how he reacts, that should tell you a lot about him.
Being pregnant is not an excuse to be an asshole. You can control what comes out of your mouth. If you need to count to 3 before speaking, then do it. You're acting like a 3 year old.
He disrespected you by not discussing what items can or cannot be donated. His response & attitudes is BS and his reasoning too. Stand your ground and inbox it. I feel like there maybe other issues that need to come out but this one took your goat.
I’ve thought about that but having put a down payment on a house together and adopting a cat together has got me feeling trapped. Legally, I can’t back out of the contract for our apartment or get my money back. And I don’t know if I could let her just take our cat
Thank you 🙂
Wait why is no one saying to ask the person who sent the message who they are and how they know? Maybe they have more details
She’s not trying to get cash. Quite honestly, I mostly prefer my husband not buy me jewelry because he doesn’t truly understand what I like. It’s not being materialistic to ask someone to not spend money on something you won’t wear or use. It’s the opposite. If she had said “oh honey, you didn’t spend enough” or “oh this is silver, I prefer platinum’l it would have been materialistic. She didn’t ask for more. She appreciates the effort.
I’m gonna be honest I don’t need to read all of this. You’re waking on eggshells around him. One time my ex went on a vacation in Oregon for a month to day trade or something. He refused to tell me how much money he made. We broke up that night. He cheated on me the whole time. Men who like the lie are men who like to lie and men who like to keep secrets are men who like to keep secrets. If he’s gatekeeping the recipe to a simple drink imagine all the shit that he’s actually hiding
Now, regardless of whether u think it's “cool” to drive drunk or not, i was just trying to impress him
You were trying to impress him by giving him a story of driving drunk, but he didn’t think it’s not funny. So it back fired. Then you try to rationalize what you did and argue with him over it even though you even acknowledge it’s unsafe. So setting aside all the excuses you put out there, here’s the thing you need to remember. If you don’t show you feel bad for making a mistake in the past, no one’s going to believe you that you’ll make a better decision in the future. Who you going to believe is going to fix a mistake, someone who gives excuses for it, or someone who shows they feel bad?
You think that by opening up to her you'd be burdening her, but I'll bet anything she'll see it as a gift. Truly. Because then she feels she knows you a tiny bit better.
He needed a parent to pick him up bc his car is in the shop? Does he on-line with them (at 30?) does he not have Lyft, Uber, cash for a taxi, legs? At both of your ages I don’t even understand how//why a parent was involved at all.
Having said that, he was rude, disrespectful in his comments. He was rude and disrespectful on your date (and apparently has been many times before). He reacted violently and attempted to damage your property. Good for you, for standing up for yourself. He sounds like he could continue to act out, be sure to keep yourself safe. Good luck OP, sorry this happened.
It was a 6some
Or maybe just a gang bang since there was only one.. receiving.
Stupidity does not excuse bad behavior
A simple “please don't have friends, ever” will suffice in this case, to be honest.
You sound self-centred and suffocatingly exhausting.
This man has you so concerned with defending yourself that you're overlooking the fact that he is acting like a crazy person. You have fallen into the trap of trying to reason with the unreasonable. This will get worse. Please leave before you get hurt.
The way you’ve written it out is acceptable…
So, do you want to be with someone who openly cheats? I sure wouldn't.
or has any advice
Buddy, you know what to do.It might be a little scary, especially after you've been with this person for so long, making such a huge change in your life, the conversation will be rough but at the end of the day, it all boils down to this.
You don't deserve that, nobody should go into an argument, no matter the magnitude, thinking “I better hold back so I don't get spat on” so kick that disgrace to the curb pronto!
My favorite is “And your brain is obviously underweight, but commenting on that would impolite”
Prenups are like insurance. You don’t want to have to use it, but it’s for everyone’s protection in case shit goes down.
If you don’t get a prenup then you allow the state to determine how to handle your divorce rather than the two of you determining it. All you’re doing by refusing to negotiate and sign a prenup is saying you’d rather leave your fate in the hands of the state than yourself if something happens.
Sorry but if I’m out with friends I’m not gonna be on the phone constantly updating my boyfriend. You need to chill
Oh shit. Does that make me white as well? I had no idea. My parents are going to be so surprised!!
I'm sure I'll be downvot3d because this is ruffian advice? But kic her ass. Then she'll stop
I would give them to her when you meet up. Say originally they were meant to be for her birthday but now you want her to have them as a thank you for all the good times you have spent together. That’s my advice.
This sounds quite unhealthy and it would be better for both of you to take some time apart to consider your options. Suggest it and see how he reacts, that should tell you a lot about him.
Being pregnant is not an excuse to be an asshole. You can control what comes out of your mouth. If you need to count to 3 before speaking, then do it. You're acting like a 3 year old.
He disrespected you by not discussing what items can or cannot be donated. His response & attitudes is BS and his reasoning too. Stand your ground and inbox it. I feel like there maybe other issues that need to come out but this one took your goat.
I’ve thought about that but having put a down payment on a house together and adopting a cat together has got me feeling trapped. Legally, I can’t back out of the contract for our apartment or get my money back. And I don’t know if I could let her just take our cat