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IG: @iamcharliebhustle HI GUYS! come catch up with me =) [2022 tokens remaining]
Date: October 30, 2022
IG: @iamcharliebhustle HI GUYS! come catch up with me =) [2022 tokens remaining]
If your beliefs are important to you, y’all’s relationship is not gonna work out long term.
Christians are taught from a very young age that it is their duty to spread the word of Christianity. It is their job to convert others. And they will do it in whatever way they can. The intensity of this belief varies from denomination to denomination, but is typically considered an important part of being a Christian. They typically do not respect other beliefs.
Not all of them will be brash and upfront about it. Some try the nice route where they try to emulate Christ, this is the least used one in my experience. A lot of times they will use guilt, manipulation, and gaslighting techniques to try to trick you into thinking it’s your idea. They also use the more upfront techniques of intimidation and missionary work (aka colonization).
Is this some sort of performance posting? Like this week in this sub?
I think he has the right to toss your stuff after 30 days. It may not be there any more. If he's blocked you on every method of communication, you could consider making that very long drive up there when it's likely he'll be home. It might be a wasted trip, and it's certainly a last resort, but if what you left is that precious, it seems like your only option.
you need to lay out exactly what you want from him, and what you expect of him, with specific examples.
does he use social media often? if he does, and you feel loved and appreciated by social media posts, you should tell him that. however, forcing someone to post about the relationship for the sake of posting something might not be what he wants. you did say that that's not a big deal to you, and i don't think its as cut and dry as “hes ashamed”, i think that's kind of drastic.
people are busy, always. if you're okay with going 2 weeks without seeing each other, then fine, but the way that it sounds now, that might increase as your relationship moves forward. I know its not all bad, it never is in a relationship, but it does seem like he's drifting away.
if you require more physical touch, more intimacy, more name calling, more initiation on his part, then you need to sit down and have an open conversation about it all. I don't think you're crazy, or making something out of nothing. you can feel in a relationship when touch starts disappearing, good morning texts, just little displays of affection seem to vanish overnight.
if you love him, you need to work it through with him.. however, he sounds like hes on the path of not actually changing. especially with what he said when he dm'd that girl. he wasn't going to say anything, but he got caught. and even though hes on the spectrum, that's not an excuse. he knew what he was doing.
i hate to say this but unless he makes some drastic changes over the next couple of weeks, and actually starts making a conscious effort to apply the things you request of him to feel loved in the relationship, then it might be best to go your separate ways. its going to save you a lot of anxiety and worry
If your relationship was perfect, she wouldn't have kissed or cuddled another guy.
I think he wants a housewife aswell and I don't think its a bad thing to want that. However if you do not want to be a housewife, this guy is clearly not the right match for you. If he did not have the same values and expectations as his parents he would have told you what they expect in a joking way or in a way where its clear that he does not agree with them but he actually asks you to do the chores. I also have no idea what kind of people they would be since you would be a guest there and it really sounds not very hispitable to let a guest clean dishes or do any chores at all. Maybe once you are married and part of the family or it gets close to that they could ask for something like that but for the first meeting?
Kinda all clicked after this and I need a little bit of harsh, I appreciate it!
it genuinely doesn't make you less than a man. maybe talking to her about this would help?
I work in sexual health counselling and ED for a variety of reasons is incredibly common. same with women who experience lack of arousal.
I would say you should be grateful it's not a medical issue in the sense of your equipment physically not working! the mental aspect is easier to manage. consider therapy as well for a non-judgmental zone in which to express these feelings.
viagra (sidefanil) use is much, much more common than you might imagine.
Even my mom told me I should get Botox (I'm 26), cause it's better to do before the wrinkles form. I was just astounded at the suggestion.
She brings him to her own house not to their house.
This is what is commonly referred to as an eye opening moment, an event in which we suddenly realise that we've been putting up with and dismissing behaviours that we always claimed we never would, the attraction won't just switch back on at this stage because what needs to be done is the offending party needs to take steps to prove that they can change.
Actually I own a company employing 13 people and he has never once told me what to do. And yes I’ve dated, by the time we’re married I’d be 27 and I would like to have kids before my 30s (pretty sure a lot of women feel the same way) however with light on this story I’m not questioning my goals of starting a family I’m simply questioning if he is the right person to start a family with
So proud of you OP. I (34f) never had your courage when I was younger ?
I don't much like guys who are out to impress. Whatever happened to having a fun time together?
Yea I don’t think this is controlling and more about mutual respect, she agreed to the terms before starting to date you that you weren’t willing to date someone whose still in frequent contact with their ex. She could’ve said no but instead chose to lie about it and is still hung up over her memory with the ex. Not wanting to date someone whose in contact with their ex is a reasonable boundary imo, don’t let others invalidate your opinion.
He’s been reading too much shit online, or by ethical non monogamy people.
All that stuff is fine between consenting people, but the second it strays over into superiority IE “why don’t you feel the same way” or “non monogamy is superior to monogamy” it can fuck right off, as it’s unrealistic and immature.
As you correctly stated though, that’s his problem to figure out. You know what you want and you won’t be shamed for wanting a monogamous relationship.