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Your man is a woman?
My husband brought me flowers for our first date. No one had ever done that for me.
18 years and counting!
Fair point, it’s hot to go against that
Parental consent is not required, the other party just is not allowed to be in a position of power (teacher, youth group leader, sports coach)
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Exactly and I wonder how the mother and mother in law are speaking to her during the day.
My SIL moved in when her daughter had ppd. She did everything and she just did it, certainly did not speak about her daughter like that behind her back.
I am sure this is mentioned elsewhere however you are what is known as LC or low contact with these people. It helps to research LC and guilt manipulation in order to inform yourself of the tactics and emotions that you will experience.
A lot of what you feel is programmed into you from childhood, that can take some time and therapy with the right person to unpick and process in order to stop feeling that you owe them your time and energy when you are an adult.
Just know you have been doing well, you chose your own path and are still doing it. Whatever they choose to say, feel or respond is their issue and their problem, not yours. You are going to live your life no matter what they say.
Yes you likely will go through sadness that these people are not the ones you wished you had, those grandparents that maybe you had or wished you had and that might take time to come to terms with that your children won't have that in their lives. However they will have awesome grandparents in your husbands family and you can create their own memories and experiences of other people who will support them in the way that your parents will never.
Therapy has taught me a lot about my expectations and that those are my own needs. I found other ways to get my children the support and experiences that I needed. However I also know that they don't remember as much before the age of about 7, so keep that in mind. I remember taking my children to interesting places much more than they do even from pictures of themselves doing stuff.
Once the children started asking questions I was truthful that other people are not always who they wished they could be and that isn't a reflection on them, but on the other people and neither child has suffered from not having negative people in their lives.
I hope your new life flourishes and don't beat yourself up for others faults.
Yeah that’s what I do. I tell him I’m not like you, so don’t say things like that.