If you ever cared about him and his relationship with his child for the love of- please do not document his 'usage'. Most people who use weed are not getting fucked up. I know alot of parents who still use in my state where its not legal and I don't feel great about it but they are honestly doing fine despite taking a big legal risk.
Marijuana is definitely not a hallucinogen you should know that if you used to use. Its a mild nervous system depressant similar to alcohol but obviously way more mellow. It really blows my mind that its legal to parent and drink alcohol but not not Marijuana if its illegal in your state.
Btw, if he says he picked it up legally in his local smoke shop or gas station then he is probably telling the truth. Have you heard of delta 8 or 10? It is a more hemp derived part of the plant which still has many of the same psychoactive properties of THC that people have come to love. Its legal on a federal level and is subsequently still allowed in many states including mine (Indiana). So I'm pretty sure its a legal blindspot as far as your kid goes.
Many counties even in states where Marijuana is illegal, are beginning to see the light when it comes to non violent drug charges. Marion County in Indiana officially stopped prosecuting Marijuana charges under 1oz.
My boyfriend started talking to his ex [23 f] at the beginning of this month after I’ve asked him previous times not to, which he claims to have forgotten
You set a boundary and he crossed it. If he forgot, remind him once again. You said previous TIMES, he shouldn't forget something you have repeated. Now he says he is going to talk to her anyways, but will break it off if things so sideways.
You just let him cross a boundary that is very important to you. He rewrote your boundary and you gave in, that's a red flag he would do that. Add in the fact he said he was going to talk to her anyways, that's a massive red flag. Ask yourself why he would do something if he 100% knew it would both and hurt you. Red flag 3 is the fact she messaged him and he didn't tell you.
He is obviously still not over her, or has some lust issue wih her. Why else would a guy hurt his current partner to talk to someone that was a serial cheater and toxic in general? Why would he not disclose it when you had previsouly mentioned you didn't want them to talk.
You need to get back in those 2 chairs and talk again. Go into it with a set mind and be firm. You aren't comfortable with them talking, you had mentioned it several times. He doesn't get to change that, he doesn't get to reset your boundaries. Explain that the issue is a dealbreker and if he cannot accept it, he can go back to her and see if she is going to treat him any better this time.
Don't let him walk all over you. You will regret it if you continue this path and will be back on this subreddit in the future.
I'm gonna be real. It sounds like your gf has some unresolved relationship business. The cheating has made her unsure of herself in ways that make her feel the need to sell men on her good qualities…by talking about how much other men dig her.
It sounds like she might be in a bit of an emotionally messy headspace. For myself, I tend not to get involved with folks who are still too hung up on their last relationship stuff.
Yea like I said time and time again he is in a loveless relationship with someone who doesn’t love him but he will see it but unfortunately like most of these stories he will see it way too late after his heart gets completely broken. Your story is not something new their thousands of men and women who are blinded by love that they will stay up until it’s too late. Unfortunately nature of humans don’t want to be alone and feel loved just unfortunate he is dating someone who doesn’t love him
Well, that sucks. He probably is manipulating her and it’s going to be a while before she learns her lesson. All you can do is listen and be a good friend and tell her to pay attention to how she feels in the relationship.
That's not how it works. You don't have to be physically dependent to be an alcoholic. The official modern term is alcohol use disorder, and you can be diagnosed whether you have a dependency or not. I've been drinking almost daily for 5 years, yet I get no withdrawal symptoms when I stop. I'm still an alcoholic
Why are you taking her grocery shopping with you? If she doesn't on-line with you, stop letting her do stuff like she lives with you. Her going grocery shopping with you is something that couples who live! together do. She doesn't need to be there if you aren't there. She can go “home”, or she can start contributing. Your water bill shouldn't have doubled. That's insane.
This is what happens when you date a student. They're essentially as useful as a high school student. They have part-time jobs to pay for their coffee, but not much else.
It's not a “slumber party” when they're sleeping in separate hotel rooms. It's literally just the company splurging on a place for people to crash so they don't drive after drinking. You don't have to be wasted for that to be dangerous and if they have the money to fly people in internationally and put them up, why not? It's just a nice gesture.
That's because you're treating therapy like a magic “fix everything” button when it's 100% worthless if you don't put effort into changing yourself.
Sheesh why would he stay and pay for that ? did they tell him before or after ?
Either way that money could’ve went on something important and useful not females shaking ass ??♀️
Actually no. This will hurt her more. It’ll make her more afraid of dating men. I’m tell you, they do not like it
If you ever cared about him and his relationship with his child for the love of- please do not document his 'usage'. Most people who use weed are not getting fucked up. I know alot of parents who still use in my state where its not legal and I don't feel great about it but they are honestly doing fine despite taking a big legal risk.
Marijuana is definitely not a hallucinogen you should know that if you used to use. Its a mild nervous system depressant similar to alcohol but obviously way more mellow. It really blows my mind that its legal to parent and drink alcohol but not not Marijuana if its illegal in your state.
Btw, if he says he picked it up legally in his local smoke shop or gas station then he is probably telling the truth. Have you heard of delta 8 or 10? It is a more hemp derived part of the plant which still has many of the same psychoactive properties of THC that people have come to love. Its legal on a federal level and is subsequently still allowed in many states including mine (Indiana). So I'm pretty sure its a legal blindspot as far as your kid goes.
Many counties even in states where Marijuana is illegal, are beginning to see the light when it comes to non violent drug charges. Marion County in Indiana officially stopped prosecuting Marijuana charges under 1oz.
That's painful. Still, you, him and your kids are your primary family now.
My boyfriend started talking to his ex [23 f] at the beginning of this month after I’ve asked him previous times not to, which he claims to have forgotten
You set a boundary and he crossed it. If he forgot, remind him once again. You said previous TIMES, he shouldn't forget something you have repeated. Now he says he is going to talk to her anyways, but will break it off if things so sideways.
You just let him cross a boundary that is very important to you. He rewrote your boundary and you gave in, that's a red flag he would do that. Add in the fact he said he was going to talk to her anyways, that's a massive red flag. Ask yourself why he would do something if he 100% knew it would both and hurt you. Red flag 3 is the fact she messaged him and he didn't tell you.
He is obviously still not over her, or has some lust issue wih her. Why else would a guy hurt his current partner to talk to someone that was a serial cheater and toxic in general? Why would he not disclose it when you had previsouly mentioned you didn't want them to talk.
You need to get back in those 2 chairs and talk again. Go into it with a set mind and be firm. You aren't comfortable with them talking, you had mentioned it several times. He doesn't get to change that, he doesn't get to reset your boundaries. Explain that the issue is a dealbreker and if he cannot accept it, he can go back to her and see if she is going to treat him any better this time.
Don't let him walk all over you. You will regret it if you continue this path and will be back on this subreddit in the future.
I'm gonna be real. It sounds like your gf has some unresolved relationship business. The cheating has made her unsure of herself in ways that make her feel the need to sell men on her good qualities…by talking about how much other men dig her.
It sounds like she might be in a bit of an emotionally messy headspace. For myself, I tend not to get involved with folks who are still too hung up on their last relationship stuff.
Very well said. Thank you for your input.
Yea like I said time and time again he is in a loveless relationship with someone who doesn’t love him but he will see it but unfortunately like most of these stories he will see it way too late after his heart gets completely broken. Your story is not something new their thousands of men and women who are blinded by love that they will stay up until it’s too late. Unfortunately nature of humans don’t want to be alone and feel loved just unfortunate he is dating someone who doesn’t love him
Well, that sucks. He probably is manipulating her and it’s going to be a while before she learns her lesson. All you can do is listen and be a good friend and tell her to pay attention to how she feels in the relationship.
That's not how it works. You don't have to be physically dependent to be an alcoholic. The official modern term is alcohol use disorder, and you can be diagnosed whether you have a dependency or not. I've been drinking almost daily for 5 years, yet I get no withdrawal symptoms when I stop. I'm still an alcoholic
Oof no it’s not, kiddo.
Why are you taking her grocery shopping with you? If she doesn't on-line with you, stop letting her do stuff like she lives with you. Her going grocery shopping with you is something that couples who live! together do. She doesn't need to be there if you aren't there. She can go “home”, or she can start contributing. Your water bill shouldn't have doubled. That's insane.
This is what happens when you date a student. They're essentially as useful as a high school student. They have part-time jobs to pay for their coffee, but not much else.
It's not a “slumber party” when they're sleeping in separate hotel rooms. It's literally just the company splurging on a place for people to crash so they don't drive after drinking. You don't have to be wasted for that to be dangerous and if they have the money to fly people in internationally and put them up, why not? It's just a nice gesture.