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“No strings attached” Riiight.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I really appreciate your words. I think I will go through with my original intention and rip this band aid.
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You're right that everyone handles stress differently but you may also consider that different people are good at different things. Just because you both do the same kind of work doesn't mean he's as good at this particular thing as you are. It sounds like he's generally miserable from this kind of work.
Instead of you talking about it and being frustrated from his poor attitude you can frame it like, you noticed he's having a very hot time and you want to help. You don't want him to have to resort to taking his frustration out on you or at home. If you come from a place of frustration he may be defensive because to him he may just be doing his best (even if it's not really his best).
Perhaps you can both find a way for him to transition into different work. It could be transferring to a different dept in the same company or finding a new job altogether. Just make it clear that you understand his frustration and you want to help, not critisize.
Well propose that you will find more time to have quality time with her, and ask ger to do the same. Organise regular “dates” together, without your child present. It doesn't even necessarily means going somewhere, but you need to make specific plan to reserve time to do something together with her.
Tell her you will cut time you dpend on other things to spend more time with her, but she also needs to be willing to reduce her work hours for that (only if she is working too much, how much does she work?). Your relationship needs to be priority for both of you, and she needs to agree on that, or improvement is not possible.