I mean, it's good to want to change and better yourself but if you're only doing it to get back with her (hopefully) then that isn't a great motivation. You probably destroyed her self worth, self esteem, and ability to trust but expect her to heal and hope you, the person who hurt her that she would have to look at and wonder about every single day, have a shot with her in the future?
Part of healing for you should be completely letting go and understanding you messed up, and some bridges can never be crossed again. If she got back with you, realistically, you'd feel like your punishment was temporary and would probably backslide while comfortable.
This is because of your deliberate actions and steps you chose to take, not because of dumb mistakes. You need to let go and accept she probably only said that you can meet again to kajr you feel better, not because she actually wants to. You aren't trustworthy, but you are capable of changing, so please change and find the next person out there for you.
I mean that people are going to flirt and sometimes it gets sexual. If that’s what you enjoy, you don’t have to change it to fit a category. If you don’t mesh and he only wants to flirt with women for sex, well that’s better to know
TLDR is tell her how you feel and get counselling.
I appreciate very hot honesty.
With the factors you describe, I would say they are indeed playing a part here, she will be recalling earlier times of stress and how that stress was relieved looking for a solution, this will have brought up old feelings.
That doesn’t help how you are feeling though. I’m sure most if not all people have had the thought of having sex with someone else, they just didn’t say it, it won’t take that feeling away but it will put it in perspective.
Your wife sounds like a bit of a train wreck, but you married her so I’m going to assume she has some good qualities, and that ending the relationship is not what you are looking for here. If you have been thinking of ending the relationship, that is definitely something to explore because what you are describing has serious potential to destroy your mental health.
Tell her the truth about how you feel, she will either reassure you and prioritise you (this can also be a benefit when there are other stressors because it pushes them into the background, if they become busy solving this problem that they can solve which is a better feeling).
Or she will focus on negatives in a loop, not address them in healthy ways, and go off the rails.
Telling the truth and getting counselling is my advice, they will be a clear head keeping things on track, and equipped with the tools and experience to help ( some are better than others, keep that in mind).
Great idea! We could also use it to check DNA collected at crime scenes against as men do commit most violent crime.
(I’m not serious about this btw but just pointing out the obvious privacy and ethical concerns involved with collecting DNA from all men or all babies born.)
6 hours ago you asked if it's ok to ask out a girl a second time.
I'm not saying shit about the drugging, idk but I hope you're safe. Just noting here, that wtf bud.
I mean, it's good to want to change and better yourself but if you're only doing it to get back with her (hopefully) then that isn't a great motivation. You probably destroyed her self worth, self esteem, and ability to trust but expect her to heal and hope you, the person who hurt her that she would have to look at and wonder about every single day, have a shot with her in the future?
Part of healing for you should be completely letting go and understanding you messed up, and some bridges can never be crossed again. If she got back with you, realistically, you'd feel like your punishment was temporary and would probably backslide while comfortable.
This is because of your deliberate actions and steps you chose to take, not because of dumb mistakes. You need to let go and accept she probably only said that you can meet again to kajr you feel better, not because she actually wants to. You aren't trustworthy, but you are capable of changing, so please change and find the next person out there for you.
So bizarre that so many people are acting like that's a gotcha moment when this is so clearly what she meant.
I mean that people are going to flirt and sometimes it gets sexual. If that’s what you enjoy, you don’t have to change it to fit a category. If you don’t mesh and he only wants to flirt with women for sex, well that’s better to know
TLDR is tell her how you feel and get counselling.
I appreciate very hot honesty.
With the factors you describe, I would say they are indeed playing a part here, she will be recalling earlier times of stress and how that stress was relieved looking for a solution, this will have brought up old feelings.
That doesn’t help how you are feeling though. I’m sure most if not all people have had the thought of having sex with someone else, they just didn’t say it, it won’t take that feeling away but it will put it in perspective.
Your wife sounds like a bit of a train wreck, but you married her so I’m going to assume she has some good qualities, and that ending the relationship is not what you are looking for here. If you have been thinking of ending the relationship, that is definitely something to explore because what you are describing has serious potential to destroy your mental health.
Tell her the truth about how you feel, she will either reassure you and prioritise you (this can also be a benefit when there are other stressors because it pushes them into the background, if they become busy solving this problem that they can solve which is a better feeling).
Or she will focus on negatives in a loop, not address them in healthy ways, and go off the rails.
Telling the truth and getting counselling is my advice, they will be a clear head keeping things on track, and equipped with the tools and experience to help ( some are better than others, keep that in mind).
Great idea! We could also use it to check DNA collected at crime scenes against as men do commit most violent crime.
(I’m not serious about this btw but just pointing out the obvious privacy and ethical concerns involved with collecting DNA from all men or all babies born.)