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Date: November 2, 2022
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Unless he gets therapy, and he DOESNT even want to try, it’s out of your control. You can’t stress what you cannot control and you can’t force a human into changing. I know you don’t like to read leave him or wait it out? But what else can you do? Seriously? You’re ruining and wasting your life. I’m your age. Man I was with since 15, thought I’d die next to, he turned on me. Into a human who hated me so damn much. I wanted to never wake up again. Life without him couldn’t exist. Yet here I am. You have to make the fist step. Yes it hard. But I never experienced my 20’s, I wasn’t allowed to do anything, thinking there was hood but in the end he stabbed the person who loved him most. I still feel it in my heart. The emotional pain….. it’s torture. Cut the bandaid off. Just cut it. You have no choice. He’s gone.
He only said she started taking estrogen at 15, not that Ella has had surgery.
Oh, I didn’t read the entire post my mistake. If this was an agreed upon dealbreaker, then he violated your trust by doing it anyway. I’d break it off
I wonder if his age limit is related to wanting a gf who does NOT want to get married or have babies soon. He may simple assume a woman in her 30s is hearing wedding bells ringing along with her biological clock going tick-tock. So his age limit may well mean that HE has no intention of settling down soon. Or he is just immature and likes younger girls who are easier to manipulate.
First and foremost, he IS using these things as manipulation tactics. Regardless of his background, you need to understand that he's abusive all around; physically and emotionally, and the only answer is that you get out as quickly and as safely as possible. You're not trapped. I'm certain when you say it's over, he'll threaten himself, which I imagine is your fear. Unfortunately, that's not on you. You don't stay with someone because of a threat. Your life matters too. You're objectively miserable and again, you're being abused.
To quickly talk about him, I certainly sympathize about his past and his family life. It's absolutely awful. But it's not an excuse to treat you the way he does. He needs serious help. He's refusing to get it. You can't help someone who won't help themselves. So please get out and never look back. Good luck.
Wow! That is very disturbing
Her response sounds really mean but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt because you were in a fight and I don't know what else was said.
It sounds to me like she's unsatisfied with what you bring into the relationship. And from your description of your self, I can understand why; you have little to no identity.
Your lack of friends and interests makes it sound like you might have depression. I've suffered from it too, and many people I'm close with have it as well. I recommend seeing a professional about this and getting on some anti-depressants. It's not normal or healthy to go through life without any hobbies, interests, friends or activities of any kind.
Not going out to bars shaking your ass until 4am every weekend is different then going out to a bar for your friends bday that he's invited too but cant go to.
I'm all for not partying without your SO but this sounds toxic.
this guy is already slapping you without consent? its gonna get worse and more humiliating i promise. BDSM is supposed to be built on trust, and knowing you have control to end it at any time. He doesnt want your consent, or your trust. He doesnt care about your trust, he just wants to get his own kink off regardless of how it affects you.
tldr. if you want to be abused and humiliated, continue the relationship.
It really hurts my feelings. I am trying to give her time and making sure that she has an amazing time. But there is always something lacking.
If you paid for the games, they're yours; they don't have anything to do with whose Switch it is, and he CERTAINLY doesn't have any right to confiscate your shit. What's to stop you from getting your own Switch, or playing them on someone else's? Your BF is a hypocritical asshole. You should box up some of this shit and tell him if yours goes, so does his. SMDH, I can't even believe this is even a question. To me, this like of disrespect would make me reconsider whether I'd want to continue the relationship.
I could understand a ONS or something short but 4 years. No way there is no affair fog that lasts that long.
That is how I see it too. He wants the “power” in the relationship.
And now OP is not being his little love slave… so have to lock her in.
You basically took the worst route possible, sorry dude.
It depends on the relationship with your ex and how your current feels about it. If you and your ex are close and your current is NOT ok with it, you should let her know. If you and your ex are close and your current IS ok with it, I don't see any problems. If you have not talked to your ex and have no reason to, why do you still have her number?
You should be honest with your current regardless. It sounds like you didn't mean to and feel bad. See what your current says, and do what she asks to make her feel more comfortable from then on.