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  1. Hello /u/Salty-Outcome-779,

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  2. I gotchu. Nostalgia is a real monster. Just keep that in mind whenever you think about going back to that mess. I catch myself doing it time to time, so you're not alone in that.

  3. I’ve already commented but I’m really Concerned that your baby isn’t getting enough to eat. I had a hard time making breast milk while my cousin called herself Bessie . You absolutely need to investigate how much milk your baby is getting! How is baby’s growth? Please make an appointment with your pediatrician!!!

  4. Back here, my mom was having a tough time. She had to riskily learn to drive on her own. She was selling everything she could to make ends meet, cleaning homes, living in a car, saving up as much as she could. Then she meets her present-day husband.

    He had recently arrived to the US. Because of the state his home country is in, he was given residency and a work permit, with the opportunity of being given citizenship after meeting some requirements. It was a difficult few months because of the language barrier. He also had a daughter and wife he’d left behind.

    Him and my mom got together, she explained her situation. They found a place to on-line in, which made things much easier for the both of them. Soon two plane tickets were bought, one for my youngest brother and another for an aunt. It was what could be afforded and she decided to bring him back first because he’d spent the least amount with her and was still a toddler. After reuniting them, my aunt returned eventually.

    My stepdad then bought a mobile home, 2bed 2bathroom. Then he bought a semi to work. They were paying for the lot the mobile home was on, so he bought a plot of land. They relocated the mobile home there. They still had other bills to pay but it was a major improvement. Eventually he bought a separate 3bed 1bath home in cash in a nice area with ample land.

    5 years had passed. My mom called like always and told me about him for the first time. I was angry/sad because it felt like a betrayal to my dad, but at the same time excited to meet him because she was speaking so highly about him. She said he was going to visit and bring us things on her behalf. Then she put him on the phone and he described me two hats and asked which one I would like. Shortly after that he visited, and we were all pleased to meet him. Not sure how, but I found out my younger brother and I were finally coming back some time around then too. I was over the moon. I loved my family but I missed my mom, and I was being sexually abused during every single one of those years.

    Fast forward a year later (more or less), there are a lot of tears, when leaving and arriving. 6 years and a little more had passed, my brother was 9 and I was 10. Our youngest brother was 7. The three of us got along great straight off the bat. My younger brother was not as well behaved as me though. My mom had to play bad cop a lot because my step dad liked to play good cop.

    I still did not like him very much. I did not like the realization that I wasn’t going to have the family I wanted with my real/bio dad (who was revealed to be in prison), and that my stepdad made jokes about my mom that I felt were disrespectful despite her laughing off. It felt like living with a stranger. My mom still forced me to give him kisses on the cheek as some sort of attempt to break the ice which I loathed and eventually started refusing. He also made no serious attempt to connect with me very much. I think he felt like it’d be like betraying his daughter.

    My brother and I learned English pretty fast, around 6 months. His first year of school went smoothly. I got bullied. 6th grade. Then I was sent to an academy 7th grade and finished middle school there.

    My mom opened up to me pretty much immediately which is why I know a lot of what I do. I think she longed for a friend and to vent so I was her emotional crutch a lot. She told me about how at first she almost broke it off with my stepdad because it seemed like he was using her for sex.

    She told me about his daughter and so did he. They said we were going to sleep in the same room together. That she was so nice and we were going to get along so well. I was really excited at the prospect of a sister. We would all spend time talking about what we would do together and the matching outfits we’d get, etc.

    Then he was able to bring her at 14 years old, along with her mom. I was 13. For the past three years he had spoken nicely of her to me so I was very happy when I finally met her, while it seemed like she’d just then learned of my existence. I brought her in my room and showed her around, had her look at stuff I had that I felt were cool. It was brief. Then I learned she was not going to be living with us and rather the mobile home with her mom. I was kind of bummed but I figured we could still be friends even if she didn’t live! with us.

    That was not the case at all. She got along with my brothers fine, but was cold towards me, then ignored me, then moved on to become snappy towards me. It is kind of understandable in retrospect but I wish my step dad especially had tried to talk to her. Instead he kinda joined in, making “jokes” comparing us and insinuating I am uglier.

    I had made friends in middle school at the academy but in highschool just kept to myself. A lot of my friends moved or went to other high schools and I had a newfound fear of social situations probably due to a variety of factors, from being bullied, having an accent, to being rejected by my step sister. I did not want the same to happen again.

    My mom pretty much paid for most things in the household. She had not married him yet (that happened when I was 16), so she qualified for ebt. That was not enough though, because it was only for two of us (youngest brother not a citizen or was even a resident). So she worked illegally, cleaning homes, then in farming. She took all of us to work with her. My stepdad only paid for the electric bill and internet, while my mom paid for all the food for a household of 5, plus toilet paper, plus laundry detergent, plus dishsoap, plus toothpaste, trashbags, bug spray, you name it. Our clothes, our school supplies, and still bought him clothes, especially socks and underwear. All with her measly ebt and illegal income. They alternated drinking water. Because of this I have a hot time believing there wasn’t a similar pattern even before my youngest brother arrived.

    My stepdad divorced when I was 15. Married my mom when I was 16. Nothing fancy. She was able to get her residency. I graduated at 17, got my first proper job, and enrolled in college. They travelled for a few years. My mom started working legally and earning better.

  5. It sounds to me like your husband and I also relate on the father figure front as well. I know all people are different people, but I will say that I would have never made the progress I have without the support I’ve received through therapy. It’s a lot to unpack and it will be REALLY FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE for him, but it is so important and eventually, freeing. Holding a mirror up to ourselves is scary, but it’s the only way we can see just how bad the wounds really are.

    Don’t forget that matching with a therapist can be a lot like matching with a partner. Compatibility matters, from communication style to personality. It might take meeting a few for him to find the right fit.

    I wish you all the best and good luck with the little one.

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