You leave him. And you can ask to work it out but what he is really said is he wants to mess with other women. When a monogamous relationship gets to this point, it’s mostly over. You cannot make him not want other women. If you introduce them into the relationship to end up destroying yours, your relationship is over.
I agree with this post. What you are actually looking for is not ethical non monogamy; it’s a way to get your profoundly unmet needs for genuine connection and intimacy (both sexual and non sexual) met by other people while not breaking up with this guy.
There’s obviously a lot you love about him but if the sex is unsatisfying, the conversation is shallow, and he’s fundamentally closed off around other people (and that’s not something you like) then I think you’re just not a good fit. Chemistry and being a good person isn’t everything; you two just don’t sound right for each other.
Again, I’m not going to tell my wife she can’t invite her mother to things. I will support my wife with what ever relationship she wants with her mother, and I will protect her and our child from anything her mother throws our way. Her mother is her only parent, and isolating her from her family is not something I’m interested in.
We will set new boundaries with her, and she will respect them. For now she isn’t allowed to be near my wife. She won’t be until our baby is born and she’s genuinely apologized (and shown some kind of growth).
When outside problems arise, who takes actions to resolve them?
In my past marriage, I was the solution bringer. Dealing with the problem, in addition to dealing with my-ex wife's reaction seemed like double-duty… so she learned to control her reaction and trust me to solve things.
I, in return, learned how to communicate how a problem can be solved…because I knew that she was giving me space to act – which made me more easy to communicate, not having to deal with emotional reactions.
It's about identifying exactly the point of tension. I had to learn to share and communicate. She had to learn not to smother a situation by pursuing so strongly. It's a hard dance to learn, and it takes the knowledge of the REAL root of problems.
When our problems were internal/relationship-based… the same skills of self-control and openness fixed things pretty easily.
How did your girlfriend see your messages with Sarah?
Welcome to life on very hot mode.
My partner and I had a similar situation and despite me loving my daughter to pieces I wish it didn't happen this way.
You have the right to keep the child, but that doesn't mean you're entitled to the beautiful family with a present and loving father.
You've altered the trajectory of both your partner and your lives and now it's up to you to figure out how to find a suitable situation here.
You should be thankful he’s showing you who he is now and not later.
You leave him. And you can ask to work it out but what he is really said is he wants to mess with other women. When a monogamous relationship gets to this point, it’s mostly over. You cannot make him not want other women. If you introduce them into the relationship to end up destroying yours, your relationship is over.
By fake I assumed you meant silk. Plastic flowers are UGGGGLy. Some of the silk ones are rather nice.
She may have her own greenhouse but I suspect she buys at least some of her stock – from the retail trade. Maybe I'm wrong.
I agree with this post. What you are actually looking for is not ethical non monogamy; it’s a way to get your profoundly unmet needs for genuine connection and intimacy (both sexual and non sexual) met by other people while not breaking up with this guy.
There’s obviously a lot you love about him but if the sex is unsatisfying, the conversation is shallow, and he’s fundamentally closed off around other people (and that’s not something you like) then I think you’re just not a good fit. Chemistry and being a good person isn’t everything; you two just don’t sound right for each other.
Why are you with him? If you can’t communicate with him, I’m not sure how you think any relationship is feasible.
Again, I’m not going to tell my wife she can’t invite her mother to things. I will support my wife with what ever relationship she wants with her mother, and I will protect her and our child from anything her mother throws our way. Her mother is her only parent, and isolating her from her family is not something I’m interested in.
We will set new boundaries with her, and she will respect them. For now she isn’t allowed to be near my wife. She won’t be until our baby is born and she’s genuinely apologized (and shown some kind of growth).
When outside problems arise, who takes actions to resolve them?
In my past marriage, I was the solution bringer. Dealing with the problem, in addition to dealing with my-ex wife's reaction seemed like double-duty… so she learned to control her reaction and trust me to solve things.
I, in return, learned how to communicate how a problem can be solved…because I knew that she was giving me space to act – which made me more easy to communicate, not having to deal with emotional reactions.
It's about identifying exactly the point of tension. I had to learn to share and communicate. She had to learn not to smother a situation by pursuing so strongly. It's a hard dance to learn, and it takes the knowledge of the REAL root of problems.
When our problems were internal/relationship-based… the same skills of self-control and openness fixed things pretty easily.
Yeah well how