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Date: November 6, 2022
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You really should talk to a lawyer about all of this. If you're done, you're done, and you haven't cheated or been abusive, so you've been a better person in spite of deserved resentment than many would have been. Talk to a few lawyers, free consultations, and DO NOT LET HIM KNOW YOU ARE DOING ANY OF THIS. When you file for divorce, it needs to be only after you've gotten your ducks in a row. And don't give him any lovin' for nostalgia, the last thing you need to do now is to get pregnant by him!
Her actions do not match her words. You decide which is a more truthful indicator of her intentions.
Also, a switch from “engineer” to “artist” is so sharply and completely opposite, I would question her stability.
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Leave his ass
MY MOM DOES lol this part took me out. It’s your face, so keep it if you like. But your mom’s opinion doesn’t matter, you’re just looking for confirmation bias. Moms are 99% of the time going to hype their kids up. Also, I’d get out of the habit of refuting gf’s opinions with your mom’s. That’s a recipe for disaster.
I’m confused. Where is the real issue?
She’s got a job. She continues looking for a better one—that’s smart. It’s not like she’s mooching off of you and isn’t willing to work. She just has a different work ethic than you.
My partner sounds similar to your GF. He is in a “punch the clock” job and isn’t interested in moving up the ladder even when the opportunity has been offered. He doesn’t want to be in a role where he is expected to do much more than show up and do good work for the set period.
I’m a little different and I volunteer for extra and take the hard projects and work the extra hours as needed.
Neither of us are wrong. I make a lot more money—which is important to me—but he’s fiscally responsible so it just not an issue.
Anyway, I’m just confused as to what the real problem is since her thoughts on working/career aren’t negatively impacting you.
What you have is a poverty mentality. Wealthy people borrow money from each other all the time.
But what stands out to me is you’re offended he has a different value system than you. This is a compatibility problem.
You can either both go to the bank and get a loan, agree to take the brother’s loan, or make this a boundary and be willing to walk away from the relationship.
But you’re not going to change him and your way is not the only way to success.
A job that is not monetized sounds like he is a reddit mod. He needs a job that makes money.