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It was rare occasions he’d go with his friends, watch the dancer and have a drink. He knows the boundary we set in our relationship. You can look but you can’t touch.
You're what we call “a back burner”. She's just keeping you on the back burner in case she's bored or can't find anyone else.
Old people wanting to date young adults is not grooming. Every cougar and DILF is not a groomer. Wanting to have sex with young adults does not make you a groomer.
You don’t have any say in your friends relationship. Make your opinion known ONE time and let that be the end of it. Make peace with you being unable to control your friends life decision because you expressed yourself and let the pieces fall where they fall. To do anything else, you risk losing what sounds like is a good friend.
If your friend decides to end it with him, reserve the compulsion to say I told you so and just be supportive. That’s all we can do.
I feel like you know exactly how my aunt would respond (falling into the victim role) because I was actually just thinking the same thing. That’s a good point.
I agree at times. I’ve talked about this with him. I’ve felt a lot of stress and anxiety due to the relationship. He really wants to stay together and help me through it all. I don’t think that would be possible and I feel like it’s too early to decide something like that.
Porn isn't the reason you feel pain, it's because he doesn't care about your feelings so you have to bottle them up. Porn is a symptom of the real problem: communication and trust.
You feel like you don't satisfy his sexual preferences, you can't discuss your boundaries without him being hostile, he won't explain his reasons for watching it, he isn't willing to compromise anything for you. This isn't how all relationships are. This is your first serious relationship so you haven't known anything better, he is a selfish abuser. Get out and find somebody that wants to make you happy. Lots of guys watch porn but a good relationship will make you feel comfortable to talk about it and set real boundaries that are respected.
I’m queer and have a lot of queer friends and we don’t do this to each other. At best it’s immature and manipulative.