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JVista, 28 y.o.
Location: Maryland, United States
Room subject: ‘, Tis the Season, hope you enjoy [749 tokens remaining]
To Start online video press there
On-line Live Sex Chat rooms JVista
Date: December 5, 2022
Tell him you’ve seen the door cam video and see how he reacts
Hello /u/SomePeopleThatExist,
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Trickle truthing.
A lot of people are saying that if she isn’t willing to take off work, then she’s not prioritizing you and you should end the relationship, and that’s absolutely true advice.
However, you should make sure that it’s due to willingness. She characterized it as not being a possibility – she doesn’t have enough time off. Would she lose her job if she took time off? Would she be able to pay her bills? If she kept her job but couldn’t pay her bills, would you be willing to pay them? If she lost her job, would you be willing to support her until she found a new one? Would she even be comfortable relying on you financially, even if it’s temporary?
If you’re not able to cover her financial losses, then it makes complete sense for her to not take time off, even though this is incredibly important for you.
If she’s not comfortable relying on you to cover her losses, and you feel that you have been together long enough and are committed enough that she should feel comfortable, then you should have a discussion and reconsider the relationship.
Let me get this straight.
You lied to your wife (no quotations because that’s what you did, don’t sugarcoat it) and you’re trying to gloss over it by labelling it as a surprise.
A surprise which was set up in a way that, as you’ve said yourself, you could “see where this is going” fairly early on and decided to do it anyway.
What you did was ignore or dismiss your partner’s concerns and insecurities (no matter how unfounded they are) and did something that played on those fears and now you’re trying to get her to see why she was wrong.
She knows she was wrong. She’s apologised but is trying to get you to understand that what you did also wasn’t ok, because she wouldn’t have reacted that way if you hadn’t gone behind her back and arranged for her to walk in to what looks like (at first glance) her worst fears coming true. She wouldn’t have expected your daughter to be home, because you decided not to tell her she wasn’t going to be at nursery at that time. Which is idiotic – she should know where her child is. What if there had been an emergency or an accident? She’d have no idea where you both were. This was incredibly irresponsible on your part.
When you apologised did you assure her that you wouldn’t do it again?
No problem at all, I have learned to repeat to myself that reading tone online isn't easy and I especially suck at it to boot, so unless it's an outright clear insult I don't perceive anything as harsh 😀 I am sorry to read you yourself are in a similar situation 🙁 You seem to have put things in order for yourself and I appreciate you sharing your experience and advice.
Your words ring verry trye and resonate well with me. I find myself nodding like “why didn't I think of it that way?” and feeling ever so slightly stupid for realising the reality of the situation, as in I am where I myself put myself to be, in an “impossible choice” dumbassery. I'm more and more inclined to agree with your initial constatation that there is no choice to be made here – simply move forward accepting things as they are and excluding him completely from my assumptions and plans. I must admit I've been putting some things on hold as I'm waiting to find out his response about a summer rendezvous, but I really should just sketch out my summer as I like it and if he deigns to show up we'll see if there's time to fit him in 😀
Thank you again, I hope it's not weird to say I feel oddly empowered by a stranger's comment on reddit 😀