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Date: December 5, 2022
Which would be problematic.
He knows, he choosing to not “understand” so he doesn’t have to take responsibility, I’m betting if you turned around today and said something like “ you are a disappointing lover, and I wish you could fuck me like my ex “ waited for him to realise words hurt, then told him you only said it to prove your point and it’s not true, he would be butt hurt for ages and you would e a big meanie- while still not apologising for whatever hurtful words he has said to you
“The one” isn't a real thing
It sounds like you're sabotaging a promising relationship because you're too hung up on how you imagine love is “supposed” to feel, based on other people's stories.
If you're waiting for lightning to come down and strike you, you're going to be waiting forever, and if it ever actually happens, there's a very high chance of being burned. More often than not, extreme feelings are a sign of volatility, not of a sustainable bond
It’s crazy how much of an impact this has on people’s day to day life when you think about it.
I agree that it can be exploitative and I know it doesn’t really mean anything but I do avoid any of the fake ‘Hollywood’ stuff or anything abusive.
Sorry, I've not looked at the throwaway the last few days, I wanted to clear my head.
She has been a bunch in her early twenties, mostly inpatient stays, but she doesn't want to go back. She said it really didn't make things better in the way she needed it to, so she'll not be going again any time soon. I've asked her if she thinks she still needs it before, and she said that she's like to be “healthier” (whatever that means) mentally, but that therapy ever only made her access here damage more, but never showed her how to heal. So she now knows how and why she is fucked up better, but it didn't make her less fucked up.
How does this tangibly effect you. They're living rent-free in your head, and for what
Lying is enough, but the age gap too is disgusting.
nah he isn’t . good luck with this
First, are you 10000% sure that your boyfriend is who he says he is? It's very easy to fake things live. Are you sure he: 1. Doesn't have a criminal history. 2. Is being honest about his real name and date of birth 3. Is telling the truth about his work or studies?
If you are certain of all those things and you want to move forward with getting to know him, it seems you will not be able to do that living under your parents roof. There's zero reason they should be taking your phone at 19 years old or exerting this much control over you. You are an adult. Are you able to pay for your basic living costs by yourself with a job, etc? Are you able to pay for your own phone, car, insurance, food, etc? If yes, then you should look into getting an apartment, preferably with some friends or perhaps moving in (but paying rent) with a more supportive friend or relative.
This will take a break from your parents control and they will not take it lightly. They will threaten. They will manipulate. They will cry. But this is absolutely necessary if you're going to become an independent adult. Hopefully when they realize they can no longer control you, they will be open to meeting him someday in order to re-establish an adult relationship with you.
He had a whole other girlfriend of 6 years
Pathetic
Let's count the red flags here:
– You're fresh out of a relationship and need time to heal.
– She's in a bad relationship and is apparently too weak to leave it. This kind of passivity isn't a sign of someone strong enough to make a good longterm partner.
– Her violent bf would probably kill you if he found out what happened.
– She lives in your building, making her an absolutely diabolical choice for a rebound fling (unless you're planning to move).
The only way to play this is for you to date around casually a bit so you can clear your head from your breakup and to wait and see if she can develop the will to extricate herself from her scenario. If in a while she's single and is well into the therapy she'll need to recover emotionally ('cause this kind of abuse is no joke), and you're in a viable headspace, that might be the time to start something. But even if you get that far you'd still have to consider what happens when the relationship ends. If you live in a city where apartments are nude to find a bad breakup with her might leave you either homeless or living in a very uncomfortable situation.
Hmm okay. That’s the general answer I’ve been getting. Some of the comments get deleted but I see the notifications. But, I probably don’t compliment her enough. She’s awesome. I never feel unloved around her even though we aren’t having sex. I don’t know why it wasn’t so obvious and other ppl had to say it. But, I’ll definitely try to be more mindful of how I treated her before and now. Maybe I’m just too comfortable
What do your kids want? Have they expressed the wish to meet their bio dad?
I appreciate this, thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment.