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This comment makes a lot of sense. If I were in this situation I would follow this advice.
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No, you’re telling me how *you* think. As I pointed out, the fact that gay men seem to have figured this out indicates that there isn’t anything inherently preventing men from forming friendships with people who are of a gender they are attracted to.
Yeah I see where you’re coming from. But vasectomies and tubal ligations are not equal. One is easy to get. One is difficult. Especially if you haven’t already had children and you’re under 50.
One is a minor procedure that will have you him within a couple of hours. The other often requires general anaesthetic and abdominal surgery.
One is commonly reversible. The other almost impossible to reverse.
One requires a very simple action to deposit sperm for freezing if necessary. The other requires a more complex and difficult and specially timed procedure for egg removal if needed.
One is often covered under government health programmes or easily by health insurance. The other is very rarely funded by either government or insurance.
So they really can’t be talked about in any true equal measure.
You deserve better. His actions, mood swings and all the other bullshit you're dealing with are not an excuse for his poor choices.
(Replying to myself) It's a common trauma response for a trauma survivor to try to tightly control their children to protect them from harm. But this also causes harm, because children are controlled and restricted from being their true selves, and miss out on common non-painful childhood experiences.
He can't heal his trauma by jailing your children. That just repeats the trauma to the next generation. It's called generational trauma for a reason…
(All of this is speculation, of course, but as a trauma survivor myself, this is raising alarm bells for me.)
If it is trauma, I highly recommend he go through trauma-focused therapy such as EMDR before planning for kids. Having children brings out the trauma and stress in ways you never think they would, and old scripts have a tendency to repeat themselves.
Dump her with zero remorse
I agree with point 4 completely