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Date: December 26, 2022
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You should look up the song “Landslide”. Sorry it happened that way. You may find some connection with that song to what you're going through.
You can build your life on new and far sturdier ground. Very hot to do doesn't doesn't need to mean worse.
Updateme!
I definitely don't see her the same way. My ex is a pretty decent person and idk why my mom hates her.
People who are on drugs also say the same thing … just saying
Ask yourself if she’s like this the rest of her life, will you be happy? What happens when you have kids and you can’t just walk away. She has a problem and it’s not going to change. Knowing that, what are you going to do?
If you are 0 for 2 in relationships at such a young age, I would take a break on relationships and focus on you.
You may be 0 for 3 because you say the new guy also betrayed you. Think about that. Why try to make it work? If you're unhappy at the beginning of a relationship, what does the future look like?
If you are in constant fear and at the edge of tears, you need to find out why and fix that.
And because this is Reddit, I must point out that difference in age. Why is a 31 yo involved with a 21 yo with a kid? I'm sure you're great, but it is a big difference. It often involves a big difference in independence and financial stability.
Maybe its because I'm a middle-aged Australian, but this seems so weird to me. People in relationships don't do 1 on 1 dinners. Lunches, group dinners, other activities yes, we hang out 1 on 1 as platonic friends, but not dinners. Thats a romantic date.
Thats just the “culture” where I am from, apparently the US is very different. Nothing wrong with hanging out 1 on 1 when you are both in a relationship, but around these parts dinners are a romantic thing. You do lunch instead.
Tell him you’ll come out as gay or a transvestite. Ask him if he really wants to force you into marriage when you’ll have the skills to kill him. Get in his head.
I had an ex-girlfriend tell me that she would get sick after having sex with her ex-boyfriend and ultimately realized it was his cum. It would literally give her diarrhea / make her throw up. And apparently this is an actual thing – some sort of weird interaction with two different biomes (prob not the right word but you catch my drift) – it’s called Seminal Plasma Protein Allergy, and can cause diarrhea and nausea within hours of sex. After some reading I found that it can improve over time, but sometimes worsen with more exposure.
Sounds like they took a break, and it’s at least possible that maybe that’s what’s at play here. But who knows ??♂️
Well next time she gaslights you for bringing it up tell her that the way she chooses to on-line isn't acceptable any more. It's not ok for the children to online in that and it's not ok for them to witness her bad habits. When people let themselves go to that degree then it could be a mental health issue. Suggest a trip to the GP to talk about the possibility of depression. Let her know EXACTLY how burnt out you are and that if she can't find a way to start helping that the relationship is in danger.