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AN, ?, 19 y.o.
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Date: December 28, 2022
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Actually I believe I said “flatter”. Kind of a different spin with those three little letters.
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I’m going to start this by holding my hands up and admitting that I only know this because I did a bad thing – I went through my girlfriend’s phone one night recently while she was asleep beside me. Why did I do it? Well I’m an incredibly anxious person, but one positive I can take from that is that I’m incredibly sensitive to detecting when something is even slightly off. Over the past while I’ve noticed many signs (girlfriend not as affectionate, less interested in my day), but the main sign is that she never opens Snapchat messages from this male friend in front of me. My anxiety got the better of me and I invaded her privacy, but I believe the ends have justified the means in this case.
While looking through their Snapchat chat history, I discovered that they had been sexting each other that morning (she was in her house at the time, I was in mine). She told him about a dream she had about having sex with him, there was back and forth sexting and talking about what they would do to each other, and a number of pictures were sent (I couldn’t view them) with the responses clearly indicating that they were nudes from both parties. She told him that she wishes she was single so she could fly over to him and fuck him (he lives in another country, about a 1.5 hour flight away), and that if she’s single this summer then she wants to spend the entire summer over in his flat fucking him. The messages indicated that this isn’t a one off, and that they have a history together which she has never mentioned to me.
Obviously I’m disgusted, hurt, betrayed and just feel fucking terrible. We’ve been together for nearly four years and she is due to move in with me soon. I can’t trust her anymore and it’s evident that she no longer loves or respects me. I think I have to break up with her, but I’m worried about her twisting it around and making it all about me going through her phone. I’m also just dreading it in general because as I said I’m a very anxious person and I hate confrontation and drama.
Can anyone relate? Would you label this as full blown cheating? How should I deal with this?
Thanks guys.
If he put the blame on you, he did not accept the blame. You didn't have a gun to his head. You did not make him do it. He did it. He chose to stay in a situation until he could no longer control his behavior. He may be sorry he scared you, but until he accepts full blame for his actions, he cannot be sorry for them. Yes, he can overcome this, but no, not until he accepts what he allowed himself to do. You can forgive him, and still never forget. You can get past this, but it will always be in your mind. He needs to be able to regulate his emotions, or he'll always be a risk. He chooses to stay in that situation, instead of taking some time to calm down. With that being said, if he communicates the need for space, you need to respect that. Both of you need to work through this if you're to stay together. If you don't, it will happen again. And again. It still might. Even with working through his emotional regulation issues. Is it worth the risk? Only you can answer that one
I’m not saying a ton, but they need to meet with more than one. They need to find one that fits their needs. So meeting with 3 is not a bad thing. You don’t go with the first AND ONLY one you meet.
She needs to take responsibility for her situation. Unreal that she is serious when telling you to gain weight! If you haven't, I suggest having a serious conversation about this or suggest therapy. She will likely resist holding herself accountable but something has to give.