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Yoori, 19 y.o.
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Date: January 1, 2023
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Like you said: she lied to you for 14 years, why did she come clean to you now? Does she have more skeletons in the closet?
Visit a lawyer and find out what your options are.
What hurt me the most is, during that period she is MADLY IN LOVE with me, she apparently are trying another relationship and had sex with other men. Even taking a bus 300km to my city, just to meet her boyfriend and to have sex, twice in a month. While I have to drive to her, and care for all her needs and monetary requirements.
Well, she was madly in love but she had to be absolutely sure you were THE ONE. And everyone knows there is only one way to find out. She had to fuck someone else to be sure. Twice. You're the winner! You lucky bastard!
I'm sorry OP, it reads like she undertook a lot of effort in her other relationship while she expected you to do all the work in the relationship she had with you.
I would be out.
So I respect myself, I know that my body is important and I love my body, it's a one in however million rare and confuses me at times but it's mine and I love it. The self respect thing comes from a long line of neglect and abuse from my parents as well as having to get a job when I was 12 to feed me and my sister, and having to maintain that for half a decade really put my life into perspective for me. I view my body as just a tool because it isn't me. I take care of my body and it takes care of me. The viewing it as an object is more of a mindfulness thing. It can still be damnimg but I'm in therapy for it. He would be my second time. My first actual was a pandemic fling and was insanely toxic. This would be the first time I did it because I wanted too. I've known him only a few months but have no interest in long term relationships ATM. His age shows when we talk because he shows compassion woth every sentence. He's actually helped me grow as far as loving my body. He's helped me to understand that even though I can't have a chemical reaction in my brain durring sex that the physical part can still be enjoyed. He did this through asking questions and answering my own. He's never asked for anything as far as inappropriate photos go and he's always mindful of my boundaries. I understand the whole thing is confusing and I would appreciate any advice you can give
She probably already has an idea who she wants to be with.
Honestly when a spouse asks for this, my though is always to respond. “OK, me first. I will test this out for a year or two and then if I am cool with it we can talk again.” Or just ask for a divorce.
You should also probably DNA test your kids.
I'm sorry OP.