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Helen, y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Helen
Date: January 6, 2023
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Sounds like she's taking pieces from The Narcissist handbook. They make themselves seem like the victims very easily. But if your friends choose to believe her and make you or your boyfriend's lives miserable than they really weren't friends to you either and you can reduce contact with them until they either wise up or you just realize you don't need them anymore. But it seems that you've already come to that conclusion.
Sounds like you’re not upset about the vape, you’re upset about the lack of accountability and gaslighting to make you feel crazy, which is reasonable. Do you need to break up bc of this? Idk, but communication is key in making it work
Break up is the best choice. This coworker was important enough to hide and lie to you. Leave him. You can explain to him, that after his lies you can't trust him, and because he deleted their text you probably never could again.
If you find it difficult to leave him, and want to try to make it work, then first point is him quitting this job asap. He has fucked up, and this is the consequence. If he refuses, then this is how much he values your 7 years together. Leave him, there is no hope.
Even if he agrees you should still make it clear you don't know how long it would take for him to regain your trust. If he wants to stay with you he needs to accept years of suspicion, and insecurity from you. He needs to give you access to all his accounts, and not hold anything secret from you.
You know people can read your earlier responses, right? You can't fix this woman. She has no intention of changing herself, and the thought of doing that for you will never even occur to her. Stop pretending like you're in a good marriage, you're not. That woman is manipulative, selfish, or just plain in need of help that she refuses to find because she LIKES who she is. Should've taken that money you spent on the cruise and put it towards a divorce lawyer or mental health for yourself because those 2 options are the only way that money would've been well spent.