Exactly. He never showed his red flags before because he didn't need to. He wanted an SO who was a gamer and who's life revolved around him, and until now OP fit that description. Now that she doesn't, he's mad about it and is trying to stuff her back into that box.
I reassured him to let me know that he is way more important to me than this camera. I'm just a little upset because I've been wanting this specific camera for 5 years and finally got my hands on it, only for it to snap barely a month later.
Thank you for validating my thoughts. I am asking my friend/seller to hit me up with our mutual repair guy to see if it can be fixed. Everything is in working order aside from the film advance.
When I said you skipped over it I meant in your retelling of events towards the end of your first paragraph. I suppose it's more accurate to say that it appears by not highlighting that her doing that was in fact not reasonable you are minimizing the wrongdoing on her part. Or at the very least saying “she hurt your feelings, you hurt her feelings, basically the same thing so no one is in the wrong” when what she said and her reasons for doing so were explicitly worse and she is being the asshole.
But okay, so am I correct in assuming that in your direct addressment you are equating the two? That him being too tired after working 11 hours to engage in sex and wanting to go to sleep (something she encouraged him at the time to do) after he commented on her hair/make-up/lingerie (so it's not that he didn't notice) is the same or just as bad as…
Her calling him boring and telling him again “any man would have fucked her” (a comment that, as I said in my previous reply, can ONLY be interpreted as her shaming him for not having sex with her). She didn't get mad and entitled because he didn't notice the effort she put into her appearance (I don't get why you assumed that when OP clearly says he did) , she got mad because in that moment she wanted sex and he didn't give it to her. She didn't call him oblivious or uncaring, she called him BORING.
She wanted to be entertained and have fun, has some sexist notions that men are supposed to always be down for sex, and got rude because he didn't sleep with her. OP didn't hurt her feelings and wasn't setting out to. She was setting out to shame him and make him feel bad because she didn't get her way, her way being sex. That's wrong entitled behavior.
She made an effort to show she was interested and he acknowledged it but after an exhausting day was too tired to have sex/not interested. That is well within his rights, NO ONE IS ENTITLED TO SEX. So if that is you addressing it I really need to know:
Did you not read the part where he acknowledged her looks and efforts before going to sleep and assume that he didn't as the reason she got upset OR do you think OP not sleeping with her was him “not noticing” because he didn't reward her efforts with his body? She was the asshole who was upset she didn't get sex and insulted her partner. It's not a “you both need to apologize for hurting each other's feelings” situation, she was in the wrong. Plain and simple. She was the asshole, she needs to apologize, it was her own assumption that OP would just be down for sex anytime that made her hurt her own feelings, but she absolutely hurt his feelings as she set out to do, she was just being an entitled jerk.
Exactly. He never showed his red flags before because he didn't need to. He wanted an SO who was a gamer and who's life revolved around him, and until now OP fit that description. Now that she doesn't, he's mad about it and is trying to stuff her back into that box.
They mutually agreed to be open too?
She didn’t do anything wrong to ask if he would be okay with trying swinging, especially since they’d been non-monogamous in the past
I reassured him to let me know that he is way more important to me than this camera. I'm just a little upset because I've been wanting this specific camera for 5 years and finally got my hands on it, only for it to snap barely a month later.
Thank you for validating my thoughts. I am asking my friend/seller to hit me up with our mutual repair guy to see if it can be fixed. Everything is in working order aside from the film advance.
When I said you skipped over it I meant in your retelling of events towards the end of your first paragraph. I suppose it's more accurate to say that it appears by not highlighting that her doing that was in fact not reasonable you are minimizing the wrongdoing on her part. Or at the very least saying “she hurt your feelings, you hurt her feelings, basically the same thing so no one is in the wrong” when what she said and her reasons for doing so were explicitly worse and she is being the asshole.
But okay, so am I correct in assuming that in your direct addressment you are equating the two? That him being too tired after working 11 hours to engage in sex and wanting to go to sleep (something she encouraged him at the time to do) after he commented on her hair/make-up/lingerie (so it's not that he didn't notice) is the same or just as bad as…
Her calling him boring and telling him again “any man would have fucked her” (a comment that, as I said in my previous reply, can ONLY be interpreted as her shaming him for not having sex with her). She didn't get mad and entitled because he didn't notice the effort she put into her appearance (I don't get why you assumed that when OP clearly says he did) , she got mad because in that moment she wanted sex and he didn't give it to her. She didn't call him oblivious or uncaring, she called him BORING.
She wanted to be entertained and have fun, has some sexist notions that men are supposed to always be down for sex, and got rude because he didn't sleep with her. OP didn't hurt her feelings and wasn't setting out to. She was setting out to shame him and make him feel bad because she didn't get her way, her way being sex. That's wrong entitled behavior.
She made an effort to show she was interested and he acknowledged it but after an exhausting day was too tired to have sex/not interested. That is well within his rights, NO ONE IS ENTITLED TO SEX. So if that is you addressing it I really need to know:
Did you not read the part where he acknowledged her looks and efforts before going to sleep and assume that he didn't as the reason she got upset OR do you think OP not sleeping with her was him “not noticing” because he didn't reward her efforts with his body? She was the asshole who was upset she didn't get sex and insulted her partner. It's not a “you both need to apologize for hurting each other's feelings” situation, she was in the wrong. Plain and simple. She was the asshole, she needs to apologize, it was her own assumption that OP would just be down for sex anytime that made her hurt her own feelings, but she absolutely hurt his feelings as she set out to do, she was just being an entitled jerk.