![](/cs/camsoda2500.jpg")
This is maddening but I need advices on what to do.
I (32M) have been married with Thea (31F) for 2 years. Before that, we dated for 4 years. We always got along well as a couple but there was always something that annoyed her and was source of endless arguments: I was Thea's first, while she wasn't mine.
For me, it's not a problem but I understood that it was for her, so I tried my best to be kind, gentle and sympathetic toward any kind of insecurities she showed in the past.
Unfortunately, the more time we spent together, the more this “complex” of her grew and now she basically take out this argument whenever we argue ( which, fortunately, it doesn't happen often).
We tried therapy but it was as useful as rubber lips on a woodpecker.
I'm simply sick of it so these days I simply apologize and shut myself down whenever she start complaining about it I simply shut down myself and wait until she stops ranting.
Recently, though, things escalated in a disaster.
Two days ago I had a really bad day. You know, those days that start bad and get worse throughout the whole day? When I came back home, it was really late and I was exhausted so, when Thea started shouting at me, I snapped. I told her that after 6 whole years together I'm sick of hearing complains about something I have no control over. That I understood being insecure at the beginning of our relationship but that if 6 happy years together didn't vanquish her doubts, then nothing will.
I'm currently sleeping at my brother's house, asking myself what more I could do. I need advices.
TLDR: My wife is angry because I was her first but she wasn't mine. The situation has become unbearable and I don't know what to do.
She knows that i like her but i didn't proposed her till now i am waiting for her if she gets her divorce then i ask her
Why is he going to make your money situation that much worse while learning to be a dad? That’s a path to the baby having the same fate as both of you.
Nope, if your alarm bells are only going off now after being together for 12 years, I'm guessing you're not an overly insecure person, so you might want to trust your gut on this. I would sit down with your wife and explain your concerns, lay it out like you did here, and ask if the roles were reversed if she would be comfortable. Everything you mentioned here is really no big deal. But when you add everything up, the sum of all this can't be a coincidence. Set a boundary.
I dated a girl for a few years and we had our ups and downs, eventually I broke it off.
After a year apart we bumped into each other, an decided to talk. We talked about why it didn't work and after a few conversations figured out what we needed to do differently. We went on to get married and had a great relationship!
Do you care about this person? Does she care about you? That's rare in this world…
If you get together to talk then be honest with each other, about why it didn't work and bring ideas on how you'll both work through those issues together. It could work if you put in the work.
If you break up a 4th time please let that woman go so she can on-line her life, and you can start to work on the things that prevent you from having healthy relationships.
You did the right thing. It's OK to miss the good times in the relationship or to miss having a partner but it definitely sounds like you were not meant to be.
I was really just oblivious, I have never had long term friendships or anything. My bf says my mom controlling what I wear, eat, sports I play, and putting her emotions ahead of her kids (me) stunted my growth emotionally and has lead me to be immature. I have never had a real thought process either, this is the first time I have ‘failed’ my mother never allowed me to fail on my own. She always told us we were perfect and that lead me to never feeling a need to develop myself more. Now I am 24 and feel extremely immature and I have selfish tendencies and act entitled even though I don’t want to
So when exactly does your turn kick in? All you have been doing is supporting his turns that he has consistently not followed through on. I hear lots of excuse on why he can't keep a job or stick with his choices but zero follow through from him
He hasn't even started this job yet and when looking at his record he might not even finish the month long training. You have been consistent with your job and follow through, it is time you reap some reward for that.
If he really wants to do this, do long distance for a year or so. No big deal at all