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Edit : I will address some queries that keep getting asked.
This is fake. – I WISH. I know there are a lot of troll posts and given how my life is going right now, I wish this was fake and I was a troll. If you think this is fake, please scroll away.
Why didn't you tell your wife specifically about your scat porn videos? – I had an open conversation with her about it, about which I have written more in comments. I told her I was willing to discuss and answer any questions she might have. She only asked for some time and then she said she was fine with it.
Why does your wife's family know about it? – My wife confided in her sister, who threatened to tell her entire family. They don't know the exact type of porn I've done, but they're very conservative Christian so the fact I'm a pornstar was a huge thing for them, and we have been LC with them for years.
What kind of scat porn was it? Is it available online? – I was not eating it, firstly. I was mostly the one excreting, and there were others rubbing and fondling each other with it. I did a bit of rubbing and fondling with them. It is available live!, but you need to find very specific keywords for them. It's not in the mainstream sites.
How did your wife find it? – Till now, I do not know. My wife is back home now and I would hopefully have a conversation with her tonight.
In my younger days, I used to be a pornstar. I will not go into details for the sake of my privacy but I was a gay for pay dude and did a lot of niche fetish video which included, well, scat. Let's just say if you watch gay porn from a while ago, you've seen me.
I am now retired. I have a regular job, I have been married to my wife for 7 years and together for 11 years, have two children together, and have adopted three of my stepchildren, and thankfully have an amazing relationship with them. I am more of a friend to my step children and it rocks. My wife knows about my past, in fact, I met her because she is a nurse and I once suffered an anal injury after a pretty intense scene and she was one of the people at the hospital who didn't judge me.
She knows about everything except the scat porn. And as my luck would have it, she found them and won't tell me how. Those videos are not on most websites and i completely understand the taboo and stigma so at that point it felt like a good thing to skip it. It was strictly professional for me but I understand not everyone might think the same way. But now that she has found out she has been freaking out, is mostly giving me the silent treatment except for the necessary communication, and worst of all, has told my (adult) step children. Now they won't talk to me either. Wife says I'm a perv and I'm gross and that she should have listened to her family (i did not want to keep my past a secret – i am not ashamed of it, but they disowned her when she married me) and is threatening divorce.
I have never cheated on her. I would not dream of it. She's the love of my life and I don't know what to do anymore, because I can't change the past. Any advice is appreciated.
You need to have a serious sit down with your friend and have them look at it from your perspective. Ask them if they would want to date someone who did all the things to them, like he did to you. If they value your friendship, they will listen to your boundaries. Tell them that you do not wish to date an indecisive, obsessive man.
If they don't, they weren't your friend and cut them off too.
Block the man. If needed, tell him you will never date him again and you've given him one too many chances already. He needs to lose your number.
So he expects you to be his secretary and assistant? Wake him up like you’re his mummy? Blames you when he’s a full adult himself? If he really wanted to go, he would have got up, he just wants to use you as his excuse.
Take this as a big red flag and leave him. Him not taking responsibility for his own actions is something you should find terrifying, because abusers like to say it’s the victim’s fault if the abuser hurts them.
Oh yes I know the type? she just love attention but the only thing you can control in this situation is how you react. It’s very hot not to be resentful but try not to be. I’m not a psychologist by any means but I think you are angry and upset primarily because he is spending less time with you and probably other things and this is your catalyst for those emotions. You need to be able to express this to him before you get resentful or you will start pushing him away and he will lean on someone else. I was lucky because my mentor really stressed to me how important it is to make time for your family