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Emy, 19 y.o.
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Date: October 5, 2022
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It's not normal to insinuate a 21 year old will die. How many 21 year olds do you know who are contemplating their deaths? Most 21 year olds have the opposite problem, they think nothing bad can happen to them.
If you pick him, right now is the most freedom you’ll ever experience in your life. He’s grooming you.
Yes it is all about you because you were talking about how YOU feel, not how he feels. He’s more than welcome to his feelings, just as you are to yours. But seriously, just block him, he’s trying to shame and bully you for your feelings and force you into doing what he wants rather than respect how you feel. This guy sounds like a walking red flag.
“I have a girlfriend/boyfriend,” can mean, “I'm seriously dating someone,” or, “Please get away from me,” given the context.
“I'm seeing someone,” implies something more casual that could develop into something serious, but isn't quite there yet.
20 years younger you mean. She is probably too old for him now. He wants a new 18 year old girlfriend.
Let me explain it to you as gently as possible. He wants to marry you to get out of the barracks. It’s not some great love story for him. While it seems like a great proposition for you, it’s really not. You have to think long term. If he is getting out of the military soon then wait.
You have to be very careful with these types of relationships. Before anyone comes jumping in, I am a woman veteran and also had three fiancés from different services.
Don’t marry this young. The financial incentive is never as good for you as it is for him. You are trying to get health insurance, great but you have to jump through hoops to get things done. Also what do you know about military culture. This is not smart. You can DM if you want to get a more candid response but I would highly advise against marrying anyone after knowing them for such a short amount of time especially if they are in the military.
Yes. OP, I am a psychologist specializing in trauma and abuse. I am also a Christian. This is abuse, and his approaches to enacting his “Christian” principles are coercive and abusive. This poster sums it up perfectly. There are many causes for abusive behavior (not that the causes justify the behavior, but they can help us to understand), and people have differing levels of insight about their abusive behaviors. I have no idea if your husband is intentionally perpetuating these behaviors, but ultimately it doesnt matter. He has not been willing to acknowledge his behavior or commit to changing it authentically (not just to do just enough to keep you from leaving). Please care for yourself.
Yeah it sounds like your relationship is imbalanced as it is, anyways..Usually when a person is going through posts or fixated on a partners interpersonal affairs, something in the relationship isnt right.
I mean, you shouldnt have to question your standing.
Truly could just be bros doing bro things.
some people are just nice.
Yeah I completely agree, I’ve been both cheated on and the girl in a confusing FWB relationship so I really don’t wanna add to that complexity. I’m starting to think that just trying to forget about it is probably the best thing to do.