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Okay Reddit. We need your help.
My (30F) husband (30M) and I are planning to start trying for a kid this summer, but we’re disagreeing on how I should be acting in the meantime.
In the summer, we usually drink one night per week and we do weed gummies 1-2 nights per week. While drinking, I’ll have anywhere from 2-4 beers, depending on the occasion.
In my opinion, until I see I positive pregnancy test (which I plan to take regularly) I’m not pregnant and should carry on as usual. However, my doctor advised me and my husband not to do weed gummies because it could affect sperm quality, so we’re planning to stop those after this weekend. But I should still be able to enjoy my 2-3 beers one night per week if I want to (again, in my opinion, since the doctor didn’t express concern about that prior to becoming pregnant).
In his opinion, if we have sex, we should assume that it was successful and I should act as though I’m pregnant. Meaning, no alcohol at all. But since HE’S not the one that’s “pregnant”, he plans to continue drinking one night a week.
We have a trip to Germany planned for this September and he fully expects me to refrain from alcohol the whole time. When I asked him to do the same, he said he didn’t want to go to a country known for their beer and not have any.
I talked to my therapist about it and she suggested my husband speak to a doctor or a therapist about his concerns and let me take care of my own body. He gave me a hard NO to that suggestion.
Then I suggested he ask his friends to see what they think. He said the only opinions that matter are his and mine since it’s about our kid.
How can we have a civil conversation about this?